Originally posted by RagingSilent
lol....ok, yes it tis confusing to explain........so heres what we'll do.....u will post the bit that i typed bout dorian meeting louis......then u will continue on,and post ur bit wen ur done🙂
no no no! we'll just do how i said we do it. the way you're saying it is just getting me more confused. anyways, repost your new bit of how louis and dorian meet. let me approve it. see if you need to edit or juice it up. then i'll see about posting it.
Originally posted by BOPRecruit 16
well, sara evans doesn't exactly look like she's in her 20's. based on the pictures and music videos i've seen of her's. so we might need to mention that cassie's a bit older than we originally made her out to be or we could just imagine that sara evans is a bit younger in looks or something like that. as for will kemp as dorian, does he still look like a good match for dorian alongside sara evans as cassie? do they seem to balance out alright in looks and persona and all? recall what i said about my choice of will as dorian from a previous page or so. hope you remember what i said then....
ohhh k....fair enough then...just, she looked fairly young in that photo....
✅ i think he still suits dorian....
and i think they go well together🙂
Originally posted by BOPRecruit 16
no no no! we'll just do how i said we do it. the way you're saying it is just getting me more confused. anyways, repost your new bit of how louis and dorian meet. let me approve it. see if you need to edit or juice it up. then i'll see about posting it.
more confused?😖 how?....
actually..it wasnt a new bit.....its was a bit for inbetween.....nvm.....
just please...i think its easier if u post the bit i typed bout the meeting of louis and dorian.....then u continue on from there....
cuz im really lost on what u said🙁
Originally posted by RagingSilent
more confused?😖 how?....actually..it wasnt a new bit.....its was a bit for inbetween.....nvm.....
just please...i think its easier if u post the bit i typed bout the meeting of louis and dorian.....then u continue on from there....
cuz im really lost on what u said🙁
to put in lamen's terms: repost the bit that you did a while back where you had louis go to the tavern where he soon met dorian. please go find it!
Originally posted by RagingSilent
is it really that neccessary to do so?
well, you can tell her age alot better in that flipbooks than in just that one photo of her that made her look younger than she really is. so, yes. it does matter. look at most of them at least. recent ones. just so that you get an idea of what she really looks like now and all.
Originally posted by RagingSilent
my next bit: (but, please do take some time to read the note i wrote to you at the end of this, cuz its important)When I next opened my eyes, it was night again, and I noticed, after much time had passed, that I was staring up at the frame of the four poster bed I lay in, wondering if I should even bother to draw back the curtains to greet the marvellous night. For what was there worth waking to? Another lonely walk along the roads of New Orleans? Another drink to consume within a crowded tavern? I closed my eyes, breathing slowly and heavily as I listened to the sounds of the night. Yet as I did so, my mind began to drift away, focusing deeply on the new thoughts that arose. How can you pick up the threads of a life that no longer existed? A life that seemed so distant, that you had forgotten any knowledge of its normality. I had for so long dreamed of returning to my beloved New Orleans, yet so much had changed, and I felt as though I was a stranger in a new world, trying to find my place.
I sat up in bed, my hands sweating slightly as I pulled off my covers, and slowly reached for the velvet curtain surrounding me. I drew back the curtain, swinging my legs over the side of the bed, yet I paused, my eyes open wide, cutting through the abundant darkness. My head began to spin dangerously. I placed a hand on my forehead, realizing that I had not fed for quite some time, and I needed blood desperately. I dismissed any negative thoughts that lingered in my mind, instead concentrating on my hunger pains. As I showered and dressed, my hunger grew stronger, an aching feeling that tugged at my body, and a burning desire that ran through my heart, urging me to strike down the next person who came into my view. I eagerly seized the keys from a small wooden table beside the door, pulling on my jacket as I left the room, closing the door soundlessly and locking it.
My eyes quickly scanned over a mass of approaching people, yet through my swift surveillance, I caught sight of a young woman, who gradually began to drift away from the group. As I followed the woman, I kept my footsteps silent, as I did not want to rouse her suspicion. The woman quickened her pace, her figure somewhat far in view, yet still through the darkness, I could see her short brown hair, blowing gently in the breeze. The woman then turned a corner, and as I came to this corner, I realized she had so conveniently lead me down an alleyway. My pace quickened, as I knew my kill would be safe and unheard. I was now only a few inches behind the woman, yet I continued my steps, admiring the smooth, ivory skin of her neck, and the tender veins that tensed when I placed my hand on her shoulder. I turned her to me, wildly biting into her neck, her gentle gasp echoing through my ears. My eyes began to close slowly, my body overwhelmed with ecstasy, my mind recalling the familiar taste of warm blood that rushed through me. I pulled the woman tighter to me, draining her of more of her sweet blood, fulfilling my hearts’ desire.
I opened my eyes, and carefully removed my teeth from the woman’s neck, just as I felt her go limp in my arms. I released my grip from the woman, letting her fall, yet I did not move. I stood still, finding myself staring at her form, as she lay lifeless on the solid ground. I bent down before the woman, staring intensely into her chocolate brown eyes, which made no movement, just gazed up at me, cold and dead. Eventually, I grew aware that my hand was running down the young woman’s face, gently closing her eyelids. I blinked cautiously, watching her porcelain face as though I had expected her eyes to open at that very moment. I got up discreetly, turning away to face the soothing night air, the taste of the woman’s blood still lingering on my lips.
When I returned to my room, I began to light many of the lamps that were placed around the room, giving me a clear view of my surroundings. I wandered over to my bed, dropping down onto it, my mind deep with pain, and my eyes aimlessly roaming over the candle lit room. I shook my head vigorously, and got up sluggishly, walking to the washing station. My feet felt heavy as I stood before the washing bowl, lifting up the water jug to fill the bowl with fresh, cool water. I soaked a cloth in the water, then lifted it up, wringing out most of the water. I looked up, finding my reflection in a mirror, and pressed the cloth to my face, wiping away any traces of blood around my mouth. I stared firmly into the mirror, until everything around me fell dark, and I no longer could hear the sounds that echoed around the room. Breathing strongly, I turned away from the mirror, choosing to leave my room once again, and wander the streets, seeking a temporary distraction for the thoughts in my mind.
Boppy: I got slightly carried away😄heh…I was going to continue this bit, and write about the meeting of Dorian and Louis, yet I wasn’t sure what to write, because I didn’t know if you had agreed to my ideas that I posted the other day. So sorry I had to sign off🙁 but my parents were getting pissed off, so I had to sign off right away, and that left me no time to see if you liked my suggestion for the meeting of Dorian. You had some good ideas🙂, I did like the one about Louis meeting dorian in the restaurant….because it is somewhere different…I just wasn’t sure bout where to go after that,(and you did say you didn’t consider dorian to be a drinker) and I could not wait to hear ur suggestions, cuz of my parents bullsh!t computer rules😖…..right now, I’m typing in word, cuz I aint allowed on the internet today😖….i don’t know what ideas you have posted, but tomorrow,(which will now be today..heh) I will check these ideas, and then I will use them to continue on with my bit, which will be about the ‘meeting’, which I’m really looking forward to writing, cuz you did create dorians description, so I think it only fair that I can create the meeting, (with suggestions from you of course🙂) which you did agree to a while back when you wrote Dorians description.
*grumbles* here, i took the libery of hunting down your previous story bit that i took and posted in the story thread. hang on, i've got another one of your bits to find for you and show. this was on page 11, by the way.
Originally posted by RagingSilent
✅ if page breaks are not obvious...i dont know what is🙂.....heh🙂no, no...its ok✅...actualy, i like that idea🙂...i will ask you for taht link at a more convienient time.....right now, too many things are happening😖...lol...sorry
and where shud he meet him? i was going for a tavern....but, cud be too repetitive....louis has already gone their a couple of times...i wanted a change....
ok, i did write the meeting of them....i will post it to see if u like it....altho i warn u...it is kinda corny😖
but, let me no what u think of it.....I walked to the bar, pulling out a brown, wooden chair, sitting down upon it, just as I heard a voice speak close behind me. “You will not let me buy you a simple drink?” asked a deep, almost sulky voice. The gentle laugh of a woman followed his words. Then, the woman spoke. “I am married, sir.” “Oh, I understand. That is a shame then,” the man replied in a dull tone. The woman laughed again, and quietly mumbled a goodbye to the man. Soft footsteps began to fade away slowly, and I knew that this was the departure of the woman. To the right of me, a barstool was pulled out, and upon the stool sat a strange, who was most certainly the man who owned the first voice I had heard.
“No luck either?” Came a voice beside me. I turned my head, in realization that the question was directed at me. “Excuse me?” I asked, my eyebrows raised slightly. I studied the man. I noticed his eyes, silver in color, with flecks of blue scattered through them, the midnight blue color flecks catching most of my attention, as their color seemed somewhat familiar to me. The man tilted his head back slightly, the lights above shining upon his handsome face. He motioned his head towards a group of women behind us. Again, he spoke. “You have had no luck trying to find a young woman?” He turned his head back to me, his black shoulder length hair moving gently as he did so. I smiled, somewhat amused. “That is not my reason for being here.” “Yes, of course, the bar.” The man laughed softly. “Among other things, yes…..” I mumbled.
I turned away, ignoring the mans’ effort for a conversation as he asked me something about New Orleans. The man gave up trying to gain my replies, yet this only lasted for a short time, because I soon found myself drumming my fingers on the counter, trying to drown out his voice. He laid question after question upon me, many of which were simple yes or no questions, to which I would merely shake or nod my head in reply. Three drinks later on my part, the man was still talking, yet I did notice that he had not had one drink. I politely offered him the next drink I had purchased. “Oh, no thankyou. Cassie has kept me off that,” he mumbled, smiling warmly. “Cassie?” I asked, in a weary tone, rubbing my eyelids. “My sister,” he replied. I turned to the man, once again my eyes focusing on his. ‘His eyes…..’ “Do you know her?” he asked, noticing that I was looking at him. “Perhaps.” I smiled, taking a sip of my drink.
here's the sample bit you wrote for how dorian and louis met. possibly. let's examine this one soon.
ok, i appreciate u posting that bit.....but do u really need to grumble?.....if u didnt want to...that would have been ok...
theres no pressure here....
ok, and as for the second bit of louis and dorians meeting...well, that the bit i wanted u to post....then u could continue on from there....but, if u dont liek the meeting.....then we can diccuss ir
Originally posted by RagingSilent
ok, i appreciate u posting that bit.....but do u really need to grumble?.....if u didnt want to...that would have been ok...
theres no pressure here....ok, and as for the second bit of louis and dorians meeting...well, that the bit i wanted u to post....then u could continue on from there....but, if u dont liek the meeting.....then we can diccuss ir
sorry about the grumbling, but it didn't seem like we were getting anywhere and kept getting confused, so i had no choice but to look up those posts to help you and i remember where we left off last in the story and remind what you posted as a sample of how louis and dorian met.
i thought you wanted to continue on from your previous story bit until louis and dorian met? your sample bit...i dunno...
Originally posted by BOPRecruit 16
sorry about the grumbling, but it didn't seem like we were getting anywhere and kept getting confused, so i had no choice but to look up those posts to help you and i remember where we left off last in the story and remind what you posted as a sample of how louis and dorian met.i thought you wanted to continue on from your previous story bit until louis and dorian met? your sample bit...i dunno...
thats ok....yeh...it was confusing.....but if i choose my words carefully..it should be ok....
nah, i wanted to post another bit inbetween...but forget bout that....
but.....they have met....well....in my sample bit anyway....
tell me the problems in my sample bit, and i will alter it in the ways u wish, then i will post it here, then u can post in the in the thread....and continue on.....hows that?
Originally posted by RagingSilent
thats ok....yeh...it was confusing.....but if i choose my words carefully..it should be ok....nah, i wanted to post another bit inbetween...but forget bout that....
but.....they have met....well....in my sample bit anyway....
tell me the problems in my sample bit, and i will alter it in the ways u wish, then i will post it here, then u can post in the in the thread....and continue on.....hows that?
sorry about being bit**y like that. bieng happy violent for pages with rob can warp my mentality for a time. 😄 😆 sorry you had to see that. 😆
anyways, about your sample bit. i don't know...not sure if i want dorian to come off a tad sleezy or so...i don't know! it needs a bit of something....*shrugs*
we can either use your sample bit after you spruce it up or you can continue on until louis and dorian meet and talk a bit. then i can continue on from the part where dorian mentions cassandra. something like that. what do you think? good or not?
Originally posted by BOPRecruit 16
sorry about being bit**y like that. bieng happy violent for pages with rob can warp my mentality for a time. 😄 😆 sorry you had to see that. 😆anyways, about your sample bit. i don't know...not sure if i want dorian to come off a tad sleezy or so...i don't know! it needs a bit of something....*shrugs*
we can either use your sample bit after you spruce it up or you can continue on until louis and dorian meet and talk a bit. then i can continue on from the part where dorian mentions cassandra. something like that. what do you think? good or not?
😂 no no...its ok.....
hehe...funn e stuff😄...
🙁it wasnt my intention to make him sleezy, perhaps just a ladies man....altho, this girl was married..so yeh...lol....
yes, that sounds good🙂.......i value ur opinion boppy, so any helpful comments to help spruce up my bit will help alot.....tell me what u would wish them to talk about n that.......
so, the plan is thaaaat.....i wil spruce up the meeting of dorian and louis based on ur suggestions.....then.....u will continue on from that bit after i post it🙂...that ok?
Originally posted by RagingSilent
😂 no no...its ok.....
hehe...funn e stuff😄...🙁it wasnt my intention to make him sleezy, perhaps just a ladies man....altho, this girl was married..so yeh...lol....
yes, that sounds good🙂.......i value ur opinion boppy, so any helpful comments to help spruce up my bit will help alot.....tell me what u would wish them to talk about n that.......
so, the plan is thaaaat.....i wil spruce up the meeting of dorian and louis based on ur suggestions.....then.....u will continue on from that bit after i post it🙂...that ok?
excuse my 'happy violent' mood swings 😄 😆
no, that was okay. he wasn't THAT sleezy...i just thought he should be proper...then again he would seem too perfect...plus he's act a bar...drinking and all...uh....*shrugs*
maybe he can be a bit of a flirt at times i guess...not a bad idea...but not an extreme one, savvy?
as for what to spruce up...i don't know right now. got any ideas?
sorry. can't think right now on what to spruce up in your story bit. does it really need changing? make dorian seem more interesting or come off as a bit of a flirt but an intelligent, some what sophisticated one? hmm...should he be drunk or not drunk a bit of beer not enough to make loopy...maybe...damn! i'm just asking too many questions here! ****** >,<
Originally posted by BOPRecruit 16
excuse my 'happy violent' mood swings 😄 😆no, that was okay. he wasn't THAT sleezy...i just thought he should be proper...then again he would seem too perfect...plus he's act a bar...drinking and all...uh....*shrugs*
maybe he can be a bit of a flirt at times i guess...not a bad idea...but not an extreme one, savvy?
as for what to spruce up...i don't know right now. got any ideas?
sorry. can't think right now on what to spruce up in your story bit. does it really need changing? make dorian seem more interesting or come off as a bit of a flirt but an intelligent, some what sophisticated one? hmm...should he be drunk or not drunk a bit of beer not enough to make loopy...maybe...damn! i'm just asking too many questions here! ****** >,<
😆now that is crazy...
ok, i will tone it down a lil....🙂
✅ extreme wud be waaaaay too desperate...and i dont want dorian like that.....i would consider him a ladies man....he is very goodlooking and kind🙂.
ideas?...hmmmm......maybe more convo tween louis n dorian....i should extend their words.....dorian cuz ask louis how long hes lived in n.o...stuff liek that......
well....i didnt think it needed much changing...heh....but u said u wanted a spruce...so...yeh...
✅ i will use more intellligent words wen he speaks to the woman...perhaops they will speak for loger too.....what bout that?
lol! its ok....
well, i was thinking more along the lines of casual flirting. where he tries to flatter her and show off a bit of his intellectual side, is what i was trying to say last time but i was brain dead at the time. 😆 *surprise surprise! 😱 lol* and as for louis and dorian's conversation, you don't absolutely have to make it more indepth. just small talk for now, i suppose. ask simple questions like how long they lived here and stuff like that. louis won't talk much or give great replies, in other words have interest to talk to dorian, until dorian brings up cassandra in such a certain way that get's the vampire's attention. you know what i mean? not just by saying her name...later on, louis will or could notice, that when he does think about it, cassie and dorian do look alike in some ways. mostly in hair and eye color and other such characteristics like that we could point out. not all of that can or would come up in their first conversation, but more like along the way. savvy?
Originally posted by BOPRecruit 16
well, i was thinking more along the lines of casual flirting. where he tries to flatter her and show off a bit of his intellectual side, is what i was trying to say last time but i was brain dead at the time. 😆 *surprise surprise! 😱 lol* and as for louis and dorian's conversation, you don't absolutely have to make it more indepth. just small talk for now, i suppose. ask simple questions like how long they lived here and stuff like that. louis won't talk much or give great replies, in other words have interest to talk to dorian, until dorian brings up cassandra in such a certain way that get's the vampire's attention. you know what i mean? not just by saying her name...later on, louis will or could notice, that when he does think about it, cassie and dorian do look alike in some ways. mostly in hair and eye color and other such characteristics like that we could point out. not all of that can or would come up in their first conversation, but more like along the way. savvy?
*has a silent fit* sorry bout that😱...but i typed up the story last night on word (im not allowed on the internet every day😖 ) and now i see this...ehehe....*nervous laughs*.....but nah, its ok🙂....i'll make a few changes to the story, referring to your suggestions🙂....
✅ i understand what ur talking about.....altho, the only reason why louis reacted to dorian saying casssandras name, was cuz louis noticed his eye color, the blue flecks i mean, and that blue color seemed familiar to him. well, i've made the changes, the main one being only during dorian and the womans convo🙂......
my bit:
My feet carried me along, my eyes quickly running over the stores and taverns I passed by. After my quick survey, I managed to find a restaurant. I made my way through a small patch of people, reaching the decorative doorway, and turning the golden handle. I disregarded any of the extravagant features of the restaurant, and instead walked directly to the bar I spotted in the far corner of the room. I pulled out a polished, wooden stool, and sat down upon it, just as I heard a voice speak close behind me. “You will not let me buy you a simple drink?” asked a deep, yet gentle voice. The soft laugh of a woman followed the man's question. Then, the woman spoke. “I am married sir.” “Oh, forgive me miss, I did not know. But what a lucky man your husband is,” the man replied in a charming tone. The woman laughed again, then spoke with a note of tenderness in her voice. “You are too sweet. You will have no trouble finding a woman, I’m sure.” The woman continued on. “I’m sorry, but I really must be going now.” “That is quite all right. I hope we shall meet again,” the man said softly. “As do I. Good evening sir,” the woman said pleasantly. “And good evening to you too miss,” replied the man. Soft footsteps began to fade away slowly, and I knew that this was the departure of the woman.
To the right of me, a barstool was pulled out, and upon it sat a stranger, who was most certainly the man who owned the first voice I had heard. “No luck either?” Came a voice beside me. I turned my head, in realization that the question was directed at me. “Excuse me?” I asked, raising my eyebrows slightly. I studied the man. I noticed his eyes firstly; they were exceptional indeed - silver in color, with flecks of blue scattered through them. His hair was jet black in color and shoulder length, with unruly bangs almost covering his eyes completely. I looked at his eyes once more, for I noticed the midnight blue color of the flecks in them, was somewhat familiar to me. The man tilted his head back slightly, the lights above shining upon his handsome face. He motioned his head towards a group of women behind us. Again, he spoke. “You have had no luck finding a young woman?” The man drew his eyes away from the women and turned his head back to me. I smiled, somewhat amused at his question. “That is not my reason for being here.” He smiled. “Yes, of course, the bar,” he said, laughing softly. “Among other things, yes…..” I mumbled.
I turned away, ignoring the man’s hint for a conversation as he asked me how long I had been living in New Orleans. The man went quiet, waiting for my response, yet I ignored him still, allowing my eyes to roam over a painting of a beautiful woman on a nearby wall. The man cleared his throat slightly, and then I knew his patience was wearing thin. Shortly after, he fell silent, yet this only lasted for a short time, as I soon found myself drumming my fingers on the counter, trying to drown out his voice. I longed to be back amongst the people in the streets, being pushed along as though I were one of them, just another face in a crowd. The man bombarded me with question after question, and I so wished to escape his voice, to escape anyone who would question my immortal truth.
I sighed deeply, raising a glass to my lips (my third drink for the evening) and frowning gently, as I realized the man’s voice continued on still. As I drained the glass, I finally noticed the man had not had one drink. I politely offered him the next drink I had purchased. “Oh, no thank you,” he said. “Cassandra has kept me off that,” he continued, in a quiet voice, smiling warmly. “Cassandra?” I asked, in a weary tone, rubbing my eyelids. “My sister,” he replied. I turned to the man, once again my eyes finding his. ‘His eyes…’ I thought carefully. The man smiled gently. “Do you know her?” He asked, the same smile on his face. “Perhaps,” I said, smiling as I took a sip of my drink.
-Boppy: I hope the changes to this bit turned out ok…🙂….. please let me know what you think.
And, just to be clear – (things were damn confusing the other day...heh)…you will post this bit in the story thread straight after the last piece of mine that you posted there, then, you will continue on from this piece🙂