What is (or would be) on your answering machine?

I don't have a phone of my own yet, but if I did, my answering machine would say: "Hi, you've reached me. If you know who me is, then leave a message after the beep. If you don't know who me is, then why are you calling me?"

🤪

"Hi you've reached the (last name here)'s at (phone number), we aren't home or are otherwise unable to get to the phone, please leave a message and I'll get back to you."

"If your leaving a message, I probally don't want to talk to you and will just delete it. Feel free to leave a message anyway" 😄
That is my cell phone answering machine 😎

mine would be ......oh dont even bother

Sorry, was that a srious question? after reading Spearheads reply i suppose it must be

"Leave a message you beezys!"

im trying to be serious 🤓

my friends message:

hello, youve reached the (lastname)'s at (phone number) were either out of the house right now, really busy and cant come to the phone, or we just dont want to talk to you. please leave a messsage at the beep

i thinks shes changed it but thats what it used to be

the best i've heard is starts off "hey". and theres a gap so you think shes actually answered, so you go to say hey aswell, then it goes "just kidding etc..."

i fall for it everytime 😮

Originally posted by bader40
Sorry, was that a srious question? after reading Spearheads reply i suppose it must be

"Hello, wait hold on...shut up ***** i'm trying to answer the phone, what ...no i don't got the crack. Anyways leave a message after the beep."

"yo, you've reached jeremy...yeah, if you're my stupid ass ex, no! We're not gonna be friends anymore! if you're my boss, then its about time you used rogaine, and if you're not any of them people, leave a message. really, im a nice person!"

Ive had a few messages over the years -

"Stop bugging me!"

"Sorry I cant be arsed talking to anyone right now!"

"Help I'm trapped inside my answering machine! Can you help? Leave a message. If not just leave!"

and the best one yet a recording of the engaged tone with the phone set to answer immeadiately!

The one on my old cell phone was started out "Hi.....well ya going to say somethin'?" Then it would beep. Everyone fell for it!

Hello you have just bothered me so dont bother leaving a message and dont call back a$$hole.

"What did the five fingers say to the face...come closer ni**a....SLAP!!"

LOL
perfect answering machine

" Hey you know what skip the talk, lets just get to the sex. Yeahhh, (I start talking over the porno music) Leave... message... after...the...beep
wait...wait BEEP."

My answering machine says: "This is Adrienne's cell phone, leave a messege and I'll call you back." 😐

screw off...