Loved and Lost?

Originally posted by HarmoNiC FLo
all it does is either forces you in to living a particular lifestyle where you have to do everything to make the other happy or suffer the consequences -

Love is freewilling... It is a passion, that you want to do, not force... nope it's not love...

But after some time, when relationship has formed, some, will get tired of it, because you have a responsibility to fufill, which is to make the other happy... or suffer the consequences... you don't have your own freedom, you can't be yourself...

I wouldn't call it not being yourself I would call it be an alternate form of yourself. Ones true self is almost always slightly adapted depending on the company one is around.

"which is to make the other happy... or suffer the consequences... you don't have your own freedom, you can't be yourself..."

The one thing you can be for sure, when you're in love, is yourself.

Why are the consequences something to be suffered? If I had arguements with my ex girlfriend, we'd sort them out. There was no suffering.

The whole point of being in a relationship is to sacrifice petty freedoms to be with someone you love.

-AC

Why do we always assume to love is to love someone else? Why is it so difficult to love yourself? Has society poisoned us that much that we must seek companionship in order to establish a safety harbour for our own love?

I'm all for self appreciation but waking up and saying "Self, I love you" is never the same as waking up in the arms of someone you love, with them saying it to you.

-AC

Originally posted by Fire
I wouldn't call it not being yourself I would call it be an alternate form of yourself. Ones true self is almost always slightly adapted depending on the company one is around.

It is human nature to be adapted, I have the same oppinions, but sometimes you just want to be alone...

Originally posted by Alpha Centauri
"which is to make the other happy... or suffer the consequences... you don't have your own freedom, you can't be yourself..."

The one thing you can be for sure, when you're in love, is yourself.

Why are the consequences something to be suffered? If I had arguements with my ex girlfriend, we'd sort them out. There was no suffering.

The whole point of being in a relationship is to sacrifice petty freedoms to be with someone you love.

-AC

Sometimes its the continues arguements, or the same arguements that drive either one of the mad...

"The whole point of being in a relationship is to sacrifice petty freedoms to be with someone you love."

this is the only thing I agree with you...

if u truly love sum1 then giving up previous freedoms and habits is no big deal, infact u wont really even be thinking about those petty losses. If ur in love that is, a lot of people think they are in love but are actually far from it.

Neither is 'better'.

If you have never loved, then you cannot miss it. You cannot miss something you never had.

To lose someone - well I dont even wanna go into that, since Im in such position at the moment. So speaking from the ''at the moment'' point of view, its better to have never loved.

For the record, hope you're get through things ok. I'm dealing with it too, have been since November.

It does tend to make me feel better when I think like, I'm only ultra sad because I was ultra happy. Sure by not loving I'd have avoided the sadness but also avoided being ultra happy. So it is kinda worth it. The pain, depending on the extent of the feelings, the break up itself etc, may never go away. It doesn't get better though. You get to points where there isn't much pain but you can always look back and smile at how good things were.

If you do need anyone to talk to, can always PM.

-AC

If you never have loved and you see other people in love, then you'll always wonder what youre missing..

I was always semi-curious, never longed for it or anything.

Being in love is f*cking awesome.

-AC

Originally posted by Alpha Centauri

If you do need anyone to talk to, can always PM.

-AC

Thanks, and I have.

this is a difficult subject right now, I just loved and lost, someone to retire with in a couple years, his kids said it's either them, age 18, and 25, or me age 52. He made the decision, of course. Loving is an important plus that develops our character. I wish I had never been with him and he wants to remain friends. I don't want to think about the positive with him, it only hurts more. Now the love of my son is with me. Different kind of love, and that helps me to understand his choice. But it still hurts and makes me want to never build a relationship with a man again. As they say "give it some time" There are different kinds of love and I have the two at battle here. Time isn't passing fast enough for me but I'm hanging in there only because of the very topic we are discussing, Love. Yes we need it. How sad for those who have never experienced it. I know a man who lost 4 of his 5 children and a wife in a fire. He is still with us only by the love of his only surviving child. The power of love is so strong. Yes we need it, it is a gift from God. So take it when it is there.

I feel for you workinggirl......That's when love cuts like a knife....sometines it would be nice to have an erase button...My father remarried and my 2 half brothers wouldn't accept his new wife...It really hurt my dad and his wife.....they eventually did break up, but for other reasons also...

Originally posted by Jackie Malfoy
That avator btw is very distrubing.JM 😘 😆

That avatar is fire.

things happen to were u often need someone it's better to love and lose it cause at least u know u can find it again and a least u know that u have it in u u can't always have what u want and sometimes that person isn't meant to be with u or anyone

Everything, even if its bad, is a experience, and we can learn something from that. We must think of things as if they were challenges.

Best of all to love and not lose. I personally prefer to have experienced some semblance of love, rather than to have no point of reference in conversation.
To have loved is to have gained knowledge, with which one can combat ignorance.

Everything happens for a reason, if you love then loose someone then it has happened for a reason. Its an experience that you need for whatever reason.

Never to have loved at all, well if this is this case then it doesn´t matter anyway seeing as it didn´t happen. If you understand this in the "never experience love" way, then the answer is obvious. Love is the best experince there is, if you never experience it then you are missing something.