Discworld Quotes

'While I'm still confused and uncertain, it's on a much higher plane, d'you see, and at least I know I'm bewildered about the really fundamental and important facts of the universe.'
Treatle nodded. 'I hadn't looked at it like that,' he said, 'But you're absolutely right. He's really pushed back the boundaries of ignorance.'

Equal Rites

Luck is my middle name. Mind you, my first name is Bad.

Rincewind, Interesting Times.

The whole of life is just like watching a film. Only it's as though you always get in ten minutes after the big picture has started, and no-one will tell you the plot, so you have to work it out all yourself from the clues.

Moving Pictures.

Let's just say that if complete and utter chaos was lightning, he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting 'All gods are bastards'.

Rincewind, The Color of Magic

The only things known to go faster than ordinary light is monarchy, according to the philosopher Ly Tin Weedle. He reasoned like this: you can't have more than one king, and tradition demands that there is no gap between kings, so when a king dies the succession must therefore pass to the heir instantaneously. Presumably, he said, there must be some elementary particles kingons, or possibly queons that do this job, but of course succession sometimes fails if, in mid-flight, they strike an anti-particle, or republicon. His ambitious plans to use his discovery to send messages, involving the careful torturing of a small king in order to modulate the signal, were never fully expanded because, at that point, the bar closed.

MORT

Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy, wealthy and dead.

Rincewind, The Light Fantastic

Originally posted by Corran
The only things known to go faster than ordinary light is monarchy, according to the philosopher Ly Tin Weedle. He reasoned like this: you can't have more than one king, and tradition demands that there is no gap between kings, so when a king dies the succession must therefore pass to the heir instantaneously. Presumably, he said, there must be some elementary particles kingons, or possibly queons that do this job, but of course succession sometimes fails if, in mid-flight, they strike an anti-particle, or republicon. His ambitious plans to use his discovery to send messages, involving the careful torturing of a small king in order to modulate the signal, were never fully expanded because, at that point, the bar closed.

MORT

😆 Fabulous!!

Of course, Ankh-Morpork's citizens had always claimed that the river water was incredibly pure. Any water that had passed through so many kidneys, they reasoned, had to be very pure indeed.

Sourcery

'You're dead,' he said.
Keli waited. She couldn't think of any suitable reply. 'I'm not' lacked a certain style, while 'Is it serious?' seemed somehow too frivolous

MORT

"It's going to look pretty good, then, isn't it," said War testily, "the One Horseman and Three Pedestrians of the Apocralypse."

Sourcery

Rincewind: I'm not going to ride on a magic carpet! I'm afraid of grounds.
Conina: You mean heights. And stop being silly.
Rincewind: I know what I mean! It's the grounds that kill you!

Sourcery 😂

The duke had a mind that ticked like a clock and, like a clock, it regularly went cuckoo.

Wyrd Sisters

"Have another drink, not-Corporal Nobby?" said Sergeant Colon unsteadily. "I do not mind if I do, not-Sgt Colon," said Nobby.

Working undercover in "Guards! Guards!"

In retrospect, Victor was always a little unclear about those next few minutes. That's the way it goes. The moments that change your life are the ones that happen suddenly, like the one where you die.

Moving Pictures 😆

There were no public health laws in Ankh-Morpork. It would be like installing smoke detectors in Hell.

Feet of Clay

That seems to point up a significant difference between Europeans and Americans. A European says: "I can't understand this, what's wrong with me?" An American says: "I can't understand this, what's wrong with him?"

--Terry Pratchett himself. HAHA 😂

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant "idiot".

The Colour of Magic.

For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.

Equal Rites.

Originally posted by Syren
That seems to point up a significant difference between Europeans and Americans. A European says: "I can't understand this, what's wrong with me?" An American says: "I can't understand this, what's wrong with him?"

Brilliant 😂
--Terry Pratchett himself. HAHA 😂

Poets have tried to describe Ankh-Morpork. They have failed. Perhaps it's the sheer zestful vitality of the place, or maybe it's just that a city with a million inhabitants and no sewers is rather robust for poets, who prefer daffodils. And no wonder.

Mort.