well it took me long enough to find this place!

finally. ok lets see whats rattling around in this mind of mine.......................

untitled

pressure mounting behind secrets untold
a friendship stretched and ripping at the seams.
the affection we hold for each other no one will understand
and neither will they understand that we hold each others hand.
you've always been there for me and I for you
and now we face losing each other and I'm at a loss of what to do.
she has you in a iron grip,
and the way you've been treating me is causing my strength to slip
I hope this is over soon.
it hurts too much, its a dying bloom.
she may want me to disappear, and this I know, your biggest fear.
but listen, friend, once all is finished, once all is at end,
once she is gone, I will remain, I will help you mend.
for are we not the cherished and closest of friends?

thats really good!

just some thing I wrote off the top of my head. theres a load of stuff I wrote ages ago in the GDF. when I find it I'll put it in here might be appreciated a bit more than if its left rotting over there. 😂

well that wasnt too hard to find. 😐

Untitled

My soul destroyed,
tattered on the floor.
The door frame shattered and splintered where you slammed it shut.
A new cut with salt rubbed in,
there's nothing but the pain and the sting.
A hornets nest well disturbed,
angry and restless, seeking revenge.
I want closure, I want an end.
It doesnt matter how I look at it,
the truth remains the same!
Your a nasty piece of work and your driving me insane!
You dodge my questions and certain topics of conversation,
but the answers I know, all the same!
Your stupid games and little tricks,
is this how you like to get your kicks?
Your a sad little child with no-one who cares,
because you drove them away over the years,
Drove them away and drove them to tears.

Your Form Of Torture

Take me away from myself.
Remove my mentality.
Remove my soul.
Take me some where else,
so that I can be consoled.
These tears I cry alone in my room.
The desire's gone.
The fire's out.
I really havent got the energy to scream and shout.
What isnt on show, no-one can know.
I dont think I've ever felt this low!
You just add insult to injury.
at night I dream, but not of you.
Instead the emotional death of me.
Emotional insecurity.
Mental instability.
It seems your out to destroy me,
Everything you come into contact with!
what you want,
I havent got!
What you need,
I havent got!
I havent alot,
but what I have you want to strip me of!
And your doing all of this because....?

Merciless Destruction

Today we had an argument and the rest.
You spread your destruction in every direction.
I never knew you could disturb me in the ways that you have.
I cant sleep at night,
I know you'll be waiting for me inside my head.
Going to rest is the unsightly bed of dread.
Yours is the voice that never goes away.
Yours is the voice thats says " I never wanted to stay!"
From this nightmare I cannot be free.
The fearful omnipresence that awaits me.
Why cant you just let me be?
Insanity ripples through me at intervals.
Sometimes I wish that my mind, my heart, my lungs would stall!
They never falter.
As your venom spread,
the bitterness erupts from your head.
Leave never to return,
Will you ever learn?
Leave me Be!
I never long to see,
What damage you've inflicted on me,
Dissolve what you've reaped,
I know that you've creep-ed.
Take your merciless destruction away from me.

Unrest!

Beneath my crazed exterior
there's a weeping willow tree.
The roots reach down inside of me,
right into my core.
the eternal numbness,
of emotional unrest.
I look a bit deeper,
and find a scorpions nest.
what I felt for you,
what I thought was real,
after anaylisation,
I found was an illusion.
I imagine my weeping willow tree,
the roots desperately searching,
But what I find I really need,
is all I really want,
and that is to really know myself!

Dont Push!

theres no in between,
theres only either end!
dont push me to the edge,
it's not my time to go.
follow the flow of water,
it leads to the way out.
if you lose your way.
dont bother to shout!

I'm on the out sinde looking in,
your the entertainment,
thats my sin!
you can look me in the eye,
but you'll find no emotion.
just a story telling how,
a heart got broken.

dont judge me,
I'm not what you think you see.
some tease, block and mock me,
people say:
let it be, let it be, let it be!
but in the end its just me!
dont try my patience,
dont push me!

I'm on the out sinde looking in,
your the entertainment,
thats my sin!
you can look me in the eye,
but you'll find no emotion.
just a story telling how,
a heart got broken.

I'm on the out sinde looking in,
your the entertainment,
thats my sin!
you can look me in the eye,
but you'll find no emotion.
just a story telling how,
a heart got broken.

unnatural origin of dreams

Dreams of unnatural origin,
So real and full of fear.
They make me jump in the night,
So frightened and fretful, I shed a tear.
I wonder if they’ll go away,
So I sit alone in the dark.
Somewhere I the distance I hear a dog bark.
The rain comes down hard,
As I drift to sleep again.
Only to jerk awake by some one calling my name.
They pressed down on my bed,
These dreams of unnatural origin,
So real and full of fear.
I wish they would just disappear.

Don’t let her go!

Whats going on?
Your there, I’m here.
We’re in the same place we were last year!
Have none of us learned?
We’ve all crashed and burned!
I have so much I want to say,
But the word just won’t come my way!
I remember the night you had to go,
The salt from my tears stung.
I’m up the ladder, your on the last rung.
I want to help but the gaps too wide!
That final night I cried and cried.

Don’t let her go!
Tell me, what went so wrong?
How long is it going to take?
For her sake, help us!
For her sake please,
Help us,
Help us, please, please, please!
Don’t let her go!

So much to do, so little time!
So little of it really mine.
Now its twenty past nine,
How much further do I have to climb?
Bring her back, she’s mine!
Don’t say she’s gone for a long, long time.
She’s mine, don’t make me climb,
Don’t make me leave her behind,
Don’t say its all in my mind!

Don’t let her go!
Tell me, what went so wrong?
How long is it going to take?
For her sake, help us!
For her sake please,
Help us,
Help us, please, please, please, please!
Don’t let her go!
Don’t let her go!
Please, please God! No!
Don’t let her go!

well im sure all of these will be
appreciated because they r really good!

and just off the top of ur head??
psshhhh 😛

Realisation Dawning

the morning sunlight drenches my skin
for one second I forget about my kin.
I wipe my eyes,
then realise that it was all a dream.
the taps running!
some ones awake.
the space next to me is empty,
like it always has been.
the questions remain,
who will take away my pain?
who will fill the emptiness I feel?

You, Her and Myself

how could you just walk away from me
and leave me that way
there must be more to what you had to say
I wanted to scream,to shout to rear my head
but you just got up and went to bed
you made it look like you didnt care
like you didnt want to share
all I could do was stand and stare
at the back of her beautifully blonde hair
I didnt want her to go that night
though I tried with allmy might
I really couldnt stop the fight
my caring siezed and you creased my clothes
I thought you knew everyone knows
when its all blown over it will still show
so tell me now, how could you let her go
leaving a fathom of air,
where apon I used to stare?

found

I think I've found what I'm looking for,
I think its real but I can be sure,
you seem for real,
you seem pretty genuine,
but time will tell what lies within.

untitled

in my head the riddle plays.
I will it to go, but still it stays!
its persistance irritates me.
if only from my point of view you could see.
over and over circle my thoughts,
over and over I hear the voice,
forever and ever I long to rejoice.
but the riddle distracts me
can you solve it for me?
in the end it remains,
only one can answer...
that one being me!

spurned

what you've done to me cannot be revoked.
especially seeming as you laughed and joked.
you played and you lied.
you shattered my life and then I cried.
with you it was a raw deal.
and I cant help the way I feel.
you haunt me still!
does wrecking my life give you a thrill?
walk away never to return.
my temper burns.
your memory burned into my mind in the image of the sun.
I hold the gun.
my new way of life has just begun.

desertion

I call to you but you turn away
I fall to the floor but you walk away
why wont you hear what I have to say?
why did you have to hurt me in this way?
maybe I'll know some day!
I call to you but you turn away
I fall to the floor but you walk away.

Night dreamer

If you like your dreams the way they are,
dont fool around and act bizzare.
if you look apon a star,
in the eternal depths of night
you can wish and wish
with all your might,
but all you'll get is this stary night.

lesson

over the course of a year,
time seems to fly.
so much happens and I cant explain what, or when, how or why!
I think back on the times I've cried.
and then think better of it becuase I survived.
the pain of experience, the truth of joy.
but now I come to think of it, you treated me like a toy.
I dont care you taught me well.
what you did for me I'll never tell.

"a different world"

whats the point in betraying yourself?
your just running around in circles.
sometimes I wish you'd just make up your mind.
so contradictive and contrary.
its a bad world out there, so I warn you...
be wary!
say the wrong thing and it'll get scarry.
theres just no point in betraying yourself.
I wish you'd make up your mind.
so contradictive and contrary.
this world we live in, completely scary.

Here we'll stay.

the sun is shining,
no ones whining.
lets have a party and stay here all day!

watch the trees sway.
nows the time to keep the world and its troubles at bay.
here all day we'll stay.

cool, clear water.
so much better than brinks and mortar.
away form it all, we'll stay all day.

music, laughing and dancing.
this is the way I wish it'll stay.
here we'll stay all day.

fire hot.

you lit the fire, now its too hot.
all you deserve is what you got!
you can blame it on me if you like,
but you and I both know what happened that night.
they say that there's no smoke with out fire.
well, thats true you've lit your own funeral pire.
if you cant stand the heat get out of the kitchen.
this time my shot wont be missing.
you lit the fire and now its too hot.
and all you deserve is all you got!

untitled

you think your funny, but your not.
why cant you stand still? just stop!
you talk consistently about nothing.
why dont you try some thing interesting?
you laugh at things that arnt funny and your always poncing money.
get a life and get a job.
I cant believe your such a slob!

Tired
Tired of this down hill road.
tired of my humble abode.

so tired I cant get my head around things,
so tired I cant seem to remember my dreams.

tired of this one track life.
tired of all the trouble and strife.

so tired of hearing your voice in my head.
so tired of dreaming and wishing you dead.

tired of knowing I have to move on.
tired of trying even though I've shone.

so tired of having nothing to do.
so tired of having to think of you.

so tired of knowing that the truth remains the same.
so tired of you avoiding the blame.

tired of you being the drain.
its time for you to take the strain.

so tired of being tired!

selfish hope!

in the night sky can you see that star?
the eternal brightnes thats so bizzare
the star thats there, that captivates me.
the one thats there, shining brightly.
one day I'll look and my star wont be there.
that will be the day I lose all hope and give in to dispair.
but until that day I'll look and see
that little bright star shining there just for me.

last night's mistake

is it some thing I've done?
is it some thing I've become?
what is it your so scared of?
thats caused you to pull away.

you were fine an hour ago
but now its all change
its like theres no tomorrow
we've gone back but not the same way.

its some thing I've done
its some thing I've become
thats what your so scared of
thats why you've pulled away

last night I couldnt sleep
thinking about that mistake I've made
thinking about you, last night.
last night I couldnt stop these tears falling from my eyes
thinking about the mistake I've made
last night

dont tie me up in your games!
I'm not a pawn at your disposal
dont play with my mind
dont bring your fears to haunt me!

is it some thing that I've done?
is it some thing that I've become?
what is it your so scared of?
thats made you pull away from me!

last night I couldnt sleep
thinking about the mistake I've made
thinking about you last night
last night I couldnt stop these tears falling from my eyes
thinking about the mistake I've made
last night
last night
thinking about the mistake I made
last night.

beach

laying in the sand soaking up the sun
thinking to myself, this is how life should go on!
I hear the crash on the waves on the shore
I grab the body board and I'm off to explore!
on this beach forever I could stay,
but only if I had some one to share it with to make my day

Trippin, dont worry its just YOU I'm dissin.

the months fly past but your still not here.
I guess I'm glad your away from me.
things arent like they were before.
I cant bare to be around you any more.
you make me skin crawl!

I've said to her, if you come back
I'll walk out the door and I wont be coming back.
theres only one mood you consume me in
its black as night and as forbidden as sin!
theres no new place where we can begin.

your gone for good, and not coming back.
I dont care if he hits you back.
theres nothing I'm prepared to do
except say good bye and continue weaving the loom.
I've disowned you.

I dont need your s**t.
I've just claimed my life.
I refuse to walk in your shadow any longer!
leave me along and get out of my life.
dont bug me again or I might just be tempted to put out your light.

untitled:
your line was completely original! NOT!
you enfuriate me.
I cant think of any other way to get this across.
what do you want from me? or what was it you think you'd found?
there are things that need to be said and if they hurt,
well, thats not my problem!
I want it out in the open.
your hiding something and I'll find what it is.
there are things I have to say that I need to get off my chest.
you make it thata much harder but not hearing what I say.
you say your life is so different from mine in many ways.
I cant help that fact but I take you as you are!
I'm not who you think I am.
you cant see beyond your nose!
if theres something that you've realised then I want to know!
I've been hidding something from you and I know you want to find out what
give me 1/2 hour of your time I'll satisfy that urge.
I cant help the way I am the same way you cant help yourself.
lets lay this out, hang and dry it!
lets not make this a mess.
I want to resolve this,
tie up lose ends
and if this is what the result is,
then we'll both have to bend.

Burn You!

how can I live in a world
where every thing I touch turns to s**t?!

so many lies and half truths!
No such thing as a happy environment under my roof.

how can I live in a world where everybody digs up what I've struggled to kill and bury?!

I cant just throw it in the trash can and leave it where it lies.
It just waits for some one else to find it!

its my turn to burn you!
my trun to get anrgy.
tired of being the worm!, its time to turn.
time to show them another me!

black sky, acid rain! this is how I really feel!
all you think about it what you'll gain.

non-stop banter! just shut your mouth!
I've had enough this time! better get me some help.

the pain and anger I feel, its breaking my heart,
which in its turn will tear me apart.

I cant say what I want, cant say what I feel
just let me breathe, gimme some space.

I need time alone, time to heal!

its my turn to burn you!
my turn to get angry.
tired of being the worm, its time to turn.
time to show them another me!

itsa all your fault! you set the beast free!
you gave life to the danger in me!
to late to go back.
gotta show another me!

you set the beast free
gave life to the danger in me
too late to go back!
gotta show another me!

I'll burn you!
I'll burn you!
I'll burn you!....AWAY!

STAY AWAY FROM ME!
CANT YOU SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE?
EMOTIONALLY CRIPPLED ME

STAY AWAY!!!!!

dismissed without notice

dismissed without notice!
how rude!
I never thought you were a jerk
i now know differently
you know how to really get to some one.
but I guess you dont really care.
there's a truth I didnt want to know
but as ppkl say the truth hurts.
I cant believe you ignored me.
but you did and thats the way it remains.
I thought I knew you well.
what a lie!
truth is, your not worth my time.
you pushed this not me.
you find you cant handle the consequesnces and abandon me!
such chivalry isnt worth the time of day.
I have submittled my resignation.
I have nothing further to say.
Dismissed without notice.

This time is mine.

finally doing what I want to do.
I feel freedom for once. I'm riding on the wind of selfawareness
I've waited a long time for this chance
so I'll make the most of it
I'm not goingt to be pulled down by idiots
Its my time to shine.
for those who dont know me,
dont get in my way
this time is mine, no ones going to stop me.
before I couldnt make up my mind
but now I see what should be mine.
this time is mine
its my time to shine.

this time is mine
its my time to shine
I've waited a long time for this chance
I see what should be mine.
no ones going to stop me
its my time to shine.

this time is mine.

Defeat me!

I dont hear what you hear.
I cant make sense of what you say.
I cant see what you see.
I dont percieve things the way you do.
if you know what I want to do to you,
would you still stand there and stare me down?
your the cause of my torment.

I know what it is you hear.
I know everything confuses you.
I know what it is you see.
I know what your persective is.
why do you carry on walking this path?
your games affect me no longer.
you stir the danger within.

if only I were deaf!
if only I were blind!
if only I could completely resign myself into submission
if only I could get away from you!
if only I could delegate my hatred for you.
if only I had never had you there!
if only I could forget you entirely.
if only the destruction you cause would stop making me ill!

I want you to see what you have dont to me, to see who you are.
to make you realise you cant manipulate me anymore.

untitled
how do you cure boredom?
how do you cure curiosity?
is it better to leave things unsaid
or having heard the answer and cant handle it?
things like this get under my skin.
and my patience is wearing thin.
nothing ever stays the same
and you always find some one other than yourself to blame.
why is it so hard to keep moving forwards?
why is it always the way it has to be?
people say your free to choose your own destiny
so why is it always some one else who influences change?
I cant find my answers and neither will you.
in the end all of us look like fools.

untitled:
reawakened pain I have never missed
this hatered, death has kissed
ink on paper, spoken words
nothing can express these feelings and nerves.

forced to face the reality that I'v avoided for so long
numb ignorance is not an option anymore
this anger and twisted bitterness, dragging me down through the floor
this, my confession, opening a once closed and locked door.

confronted with this vile passion thats rooted deep
the disgust for my actions overwhelms me
extented, the tears seep into my eyes, down my face they creep
disilusioned and dismayed, I cannot see.

my own mistakes haunt me with vengance
anger, pain, mistrust, guilt, regret and hatered in aligance
my heart a vigile-anti against my head
beyond numbness come the explosion, fuelled and fed.

beyond these mords is the connotation and comprehension
I can only tell the wrongs that have wronged me
even those are obscure.
explanation and comprehension illude both you and me

Untitled

looking to the sky, so bright and clear.
I've something to say, just wish you were here!
I hate being away, and when we're together I wish I could stay.
time gone in an instant, why cant it just stop?

looking to the sky, mottled pink, orange and purple.
warm and inviting just like you.
someone I can share everything with, wether it be a whim or a major tiff.

thankyou for the truth you give.
thankyou for your honestly.
thankyou for being you.
thankyou for loving me

untitled

rainbow
sun shine
bright
stars
moon
light
shade
colour
tone
texture
wood
stone
blood
muscle
bone
walking throught life never alone.
death, another zone.

stop trying to change what ist yours to correct.

complaints,
contradictions,
weary and low.
neglect,
abuse,
mistakes made without knowing.
heartache,
emotional storms,
stop doing this to me my mind is blowing.
harsh words,
malicious tounge,
you cant change what has happened whats done is done.
cencerity in apologies,
sorrow in mind and heart.
stop doing this to me its tearing me apart.
you say you love me.
prove it and stop trying to change me.

untitled

it never rains, only pours,
with the rain, through this heart runs acid,
scourchingmy flesh.
from the pain,
I cry tears of crimson blood.
agonised, I tear at my face with nails of jagged glass.
my skin shreads and peels but never heals.
scars upon scars, external, internal, eternal.
fearing what others call sleep.
acid, seeping into my dreams,
corrupted, they turn into nightmares.
within are the blades, the blood, the anger, the violence, the fear.
the screams that deafen me.
the phsychotic acts that blind me.
the fear and disgust that fills me.
awake, they walk with me still,
looped on play back.
pain of the past, pain of these dreams, pain that makes me cry and scream, cower down in fear.
give me back my life, give me back my peace and just dissappear!

untitled

broken bones and blood-stained skin.
theres nothing left but the pain within.
rusty blades and broken glass.
shards in my eye, shards in my heart.
the ways you've hurt me.
you dont care.
you bruise my mind, I cut my hair.
you've brought me here.
you still dont care.
metal dripping blood, cloth covering the wound to stop the flood.
your always there.
you've done this to me!
you pushed me this far!
will I ever be free?
bloody mirrors, walls of knives.
torn, dirty clothing, blackend eyes.
sooty tears, acid tracks.
you brought on these panic attacks.
blood on the walls, blood in the bath,
black tears in the sink,
this is it, you've won!
I'm not coming back

Originally posted by Ignite
well im sure all of these will be
appreciated because they r really good!

and just off the top of ur head??
psshhhh 😛

sorry it took longer than i thought to round that lot up, there was more of it than I thought there was.

I find writting comes very easily to me, I dont know why.
not all of my scribblings are written off the top of my head but most of the shorter one are.
I get a sentence in my head and I get the urge to write it down and after that first sentence the rest just flows (sorry cliche I know!)

I just hope that ppl enjoy and like what they read. I've kept these too close to my heart for too long and now its time to move on and I hope I will write for a long time to come.

thank you Ignite. 😊

this pain is still fresh I cant make it fade
I cant believe that you left in the middle of the night
whilst asleep in my bed I laid.
only to wake and find a disturbing sight

how could you do it?
how could you leave?
I knew it wasnt easy for you
but how could it have been easier to abandon me?

a stripped bedroom, draws strewn on the floor
mum crying and sobbing in the living room "Please! No more"
david asleep, doesnt know any thing has changed
I walk through the house confused not knowing wether I've lost or gained.

two days later it hits me.
your not coming back
blinded by tears
scream out in the blackness

questions spinning in my head
why did you abandon me?
why does it feel like your dead?
I wish that you could see every thing that you've done and are doing to me!

for months I cried myself to sleep
every waking moment wishing to be dead.
same last thought every night
and waking in the mornings screams of dispear for the fact I'm still here.

four years later in front of me you stand
behaving like it never happened
you asume I've forgiven you for your cardinal crime
you'll never understand what I think of you now.

the pain is still raw,
the only way to numb it, to be free of it
to open my skin.
but of all this you'll never know becuase I'll never tell.

how can I make you understand,
I love you so much.
but when I needed you the most, little sister
you abandoned me in this vast cold world.

you left me for the voultures
the one person I could always turn to for anything anytime
but my biggest fear you made true.
how could I ever forgive you??????

Originally posted by Lara
sorry it took longer than i thought to round that lot up, there was more of it than I thought there was.

I find writting comes very easily to me, I dont know why.
not all of my scribblings are written off the top of my head but most of the shorter one are.
I get a sentence in my head and I get the urge to write it down and after that first sentence the rest just flows (sorry cliche I know!)

I just hope that ppl enjoy and like what they read. I've kept these too close to my heart for too long and now its time to move on and I hope I will write for a long time to come.

thank you Ignite. 😊

I find that happens with me too, especially when I come up with an inspirational sentence or word, everything else just branches off from it.

And cliche or no cliche, your writing is wonderful. It's lengthy without being excessive, interesting to read and although most of your poetry seems to be centred around similar subjects, I don't find it repetetive. Make sure you continue to share with us honey 😄

I remember that you posted alot in then GDF when I started that thread. 😊
but becuase I had such a lenghty absence and so much has changed around here i kinda forgot you Sy, sowwy *waits for the slap* but I still wuv you now I remember!.

Wow Lara!! Those were all SOOOOO good!!! You are an incredibly talented person!! I can't wait for more!!

starring through my relfection
past what I can see
the mirror is cold and hollow
its only reflecting me.

sun blasting in through the window
its watery aetherical substance plastered on the walls
its warmth is welcomed meekly
but its you I really long for.

I light the last of my burned out candle
in hope I'll see you through the fire
all I get is hisses and crackles
the reality of some thing I'll never master.

waking cold and lonely
tears I cry when I sleep
the fears consume me
as I say my last good bye.

lara you've got some EXCELLENT stuff there 😄

go on keep pushing!
you'll learn in time.
turn up the heat!
the boiling blood is mine.

go on keep grinding!
keep smothering me.
I'm quietly seething.
you just cant let it be.

keep feeding the fire.
my soul burns.
its not ice any more
watch as the tables turn.

go on, one more snide remark!
go on, give me one last smirk!
go on, keep pushing me to it!
go on, make me lose my head!

I'll smite you down and make you regret
every silly little thing you've ever said
I'll laugh as I spill your blood
its nothing you dont deserve

Oooo that last one was really great! 😄 Though they're all real good #happy#

Originally posted by Lara
I remember that you posted alot in then GDF when I started that thread. 😊
but becuase I had such a lenghty absence and so much has changed around here i kinda forgot you Sy, sowwy *waits for the slap* but I still wuv you now I remember!.

You forgot me?? May I ask how?? 😂

Kidding chick, welcome back, I hope your reasons for disappearing were happy ones and if not, that they're all sorted now 😉

off on a tangent again.

trapped in the coils of my own dimise
over and over the knot reties
tighter and tighter, I can not breathe
alone in the dark i sit and seethe.

breaking my thoughts down
one by one
the hours pass as I frown
defining my reasons with the rising sun.

eyes sore and swollen, puffy and red,
I remember every thing you ever said
I remember the promises
you broke them one by one.

now as I cry, I laugh too
because I know now, I'm better than you!
I smile and thankyou though you dont know why,
you made this girl stronger when you made her cry!.

that ones really good- i like the imagery in the first verse 😊