Originally posted by Big Evil
Sits quitely and meditates..
Pablo G, for your sins against your own body and as your Christian fundementalist mother told you, doing that would make you go blind. (I don't think I need to go into detail, I'll just say your obsession with your gun made a bullet get caught in your eye..)Out of angst revenge for being a teenager deprived of good-times you become a vigilantie hero who listens to Cradle of Filth to rebel against your mother and become Doubledare Devil! (Your friends didn't believe you'd wear a devil outfit as long as you lived under mom's roof!)
You fight crime and try to appear cool by joining the church of Satan and the Church of Satan in thanks gives you a sidekick. A hot tommoly of a girl.
Unfourtanatly Satanists were never the "saving myself for the right person" type and you catch a strange new std that makes your dick fall off. You can still peform bodily functions jsuch as peeing, you just have no yankee doodle dandee. Anyway, being the Satanic ***** that she is she dumps you for some loser named "Evil Eye"
and has his own comic book series because he makes himself a commercial figure for being open minded (Opend leg is more like it.) and has his "Evil Eye for the queer guy" series where he talks about that making love is a beautiful thing wether it's with a man or a woman. Because the left-wing is so loony toon they completely ignore the fact that he's a manwhore and just tote the fact that it's equality. You mutter "I should've listend to mom and become a lawyer.." and countinue your path as a crime-fighter with no hope to *ahem!* grab onto..
My johnson's gonna fall of 馃檨
Originally posted by Big EvilWow... Mantis gets killed by a Prey Mantis... that sucks...
Forget Bible Code.. We got math and super computers!
It seems Darth Mantis you will unknowlingly seal your own fate by stepping on a preying mantis. Which has the "butterfly effect" causing a gigantic intelligent mantis to tell you to praise him or he'll eat you.(Yes people, that's a real mantis upclose..)
So you worship the mantis, he then commands you to spread his gospel which you do. But everyone laughs at you and doesn't believe your crazy story of a mantis god hiding from the public pissed at you for stepping on one of his children he made in his image.You eventualy return to the mantis and tell him the story. He yells with a thundering voice "LIER! YOU DARE MOCKETH THE LORD!?" and gobbles you up.
Evidently it turns out the diety of a mantis was the green party's doings because they figured people would never willingly help nature so they gave them a little power-boost so they could defend themself. Someone taped your death and exposed the truth but too late, Nader gave the signal and gigantic wasps dropped "hive bombs" on entire villages which let out millions upon millions of bee swarms that killed off thousands of people and those that survived were left to insectoid slavery. A new slogan adoped by the capitve serfs is "Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos!"
Originally posted by ESP07
ME next!
I will not train you.. This is not your destiny..
The fear grows into anger, you yell "Fine! I'll make my own Jedi council! And it will have blackjack, and hookers, infact.. FORGET THE COUNCIL!" you storm off and make a pact with the devil. (Hillary Clinton.) She gets appointed head of state, you're built your own "Church of Sith". The pinkos would rally that this violates seperation of church/state. But sense thier bloody hypocrites who will do anything to keep the conservative agenda down. You are safe.
Hillary trains you well in the ways of securalism. You become her prized apprentice.
But the force is never with you. Your anger turns to hate. Hate for the Jedi.. hate for religon as a whole.. You have completed your journey towards securalism.
You develop the ultimate plan to kill anything that speaks of God in a good light, the "Jedi" are hunted down and destroyed. And you kill your former master for growing "soft" and demanding a communism nation when you know the best way to control the masses is to keep them struggeling in a six-class society as it is now. You regim will last for ten years before your mind becomes clouded with infatuation for a girl from an enemy territory. The Jedi told you nothing's worst then love.
You wave your hand around trying those "Jedi mind tricks" and look like you have epilepsy or something. She scoffs at your vain attempts to be a moraly sound, caring individual. (Okay let's face it, trying to coeirce chicks into going out with you through psionics isn't exactly a turn on.)
Your suffering now begins, and it doesn't stop. You commit sepeku, and once again balance is restored to the force. *Star Wars theme plays*
Originally posted by Kiu Dun
This is the Greatest. You need help. But first, I would like me fate black magic guy.
However all is not well, despite you being obviously un-conservative, the liberal media is vultures and to get quick and easy ratings shows you in your weakest state and for the whole word to see pictures of you cross-dressing are put infront of the camera screen..
Your image is tarnished, alot of your team-mates have lost alot of respect for you. As usual there will be small groups of people ranting about gay rights or that there's nothing unusual or wrong with wanting to look pretty and feeling like a girl inside. But this sortof exposure only makes things worst. So you inevitably have to step down from opposing Bush untill the sham subsides. However because Bush the tyrant is in control this sortof behaivor is unacceptable and before you can say yaoi you are put into prison. Where you actually meet someone and soon get married by an activist judge.
You reluctantly admit to your gay lover you were never really a woman but this jail bird gives you the bighouse words of wisdom "After you've been here for about ten or so years they all look the same from behind" and you live happiely after.
The (Tapped heheheh..) End..