Originally posted by Fëanor
Dear Friend;I have given it much thought as to our last conversation was, and well, I must disagree with you. I honestly believe that love is not something that can be truly defined as you’ve put it. And since we are all unique and different from one another, I cannot see how my idea as to what love is, is no more correct or wrong for that matter, than it is from yours.
As there are many shades of red (being my favourite colour) I honestly believe there are varying shades to love. But then that’s neither here nor there, now is it. As you’ve said to me before, the glass is always half empty where I see it the other way. You asked: “Are you in love?” To which I’ve said over a dozen time yes. But does being in love make one smart? Yes. And no.
I believe that when one is “in” love, there is also an ugly side that somehow or other seems to find its way to the surface. You’ve asked what that was and I’ve said this many times before. Jealousy, paranoia, insecurities, wild imaginations of some dastardly paramour longing and desiring the affection of your love. And in so many times I have stated thus, you’ve disagreed with me that that cannot be so.
You’ve said that when one is in love, those things cannot possibly be a side of love to which I’ve said. How so, I once quipped. And you’ve replied with honesty and candor that tickles my bone to no end. Love, as you so eloquently played to me is beyond all those things. You cannot love a person if those vile emotions should overcome the unsuspecting soul. Oh no! How can you honestly say you love someone when those things can overcome you, you’ve said.
It was then, after thinking that in some sense that is true. But then how is it that if one is in love, can one feel all that I’ve mentioned? How can one truly be in love when you become jealous, obsessed and quite frankly I find appalling, to accuse the object of your affection of anything but being honest and straightforward?
Yes. I am in love my friend. More so than I have ever thought capable of. I’ve loved many and found some to be more lust than actual love. But for all those that I had loved, no one has ever affected me as this one person has. And in doing so, I’ve allowed my own insecurities to blind me from the truth. That though my heart now belongs to this person to whom I’ve professed my affections for, I’ve yet to overcome my own failings.
Time you say will heal all wounds. But the memory of hurt and sorrow will last a lifetime.
Bra-f*cking-Vo Feanor clapping How can one be truly enamoured when it's so easy to accuse? To lay the blame and to be quite disgusting towards the person one loves? I say it's entirely possible, I have lived it. Am living it right now... all I know for sure is that I have never loved someone so completely, so passionately and so fiercely as I love him... and if I become angry with him it's because I'm frustrated with myself.
As far as I am concerned, humans are not made up of only one emotion, and that one emotion {love} does not become the sole feeling which drives us. Of course the other elements are still in existence, perhaps overshadowed by love but very much alive and kicking. Ergo, when in love, we are still human... living, breathing and emotional retards.
Originally posted by SyrenHAHAHAHAHA!!!! we are that, aren't we? Emotional retards!! 😄
Bra-f*cking-Vo Feanor clapping How can one be truly enamoured when it's so easy to accuse? To lay the blame and to be quite disgusting towards the person one loves? I say it's entirely possible, I have lived it. Am living it right now... all I know for sure is that I have never loved someone so completely, so passionately and so fiercely as I love him... and if I become angry with him it's because I'm frustrated with myself.As far as I am concerned, humans are not made up of only one emotion, and that one emotion {love} does not become the sole feeling which drives us. Of course the other elements are still in existence, perhaps overshadowed by love but very much alive and kicking. Ergo, when in love, we are still human... living, breathing and emotional retards.
Originally posted by Fëanor
Dear Friend;I have given it much thought as to our last conversation was, and well, I must disagree with you. I honestly believe that love is not something that can be truly defined as you’ve put it. And since we are all unique and different from one another, I cannot see how my idea as to what love is, is no more correct or wrong for that matter, than it is from yours.
As there are many shades of red (being my favourite colour) I honestly believe there are varying shades to love. But then that’s neither here nor there, now is it. As you’ve said to me before, the glass is always half empty where I see it the other way. You asked: “Are you in love?” To which I’ve said over a dozen time yes. But does being in love make one smart? Yes. And no.
I believe that when one is “in” love, there is also an ugly side that somehow or other seems to find its way to the surface. You’ve asked what that was and I’ve said this many times before. Jealousy, paranoia, insecurities, wild imaginations of some dastardly paramour longing and desiring the affection of your love. And in so many times I have stated thus, you’ve disagreed with me that that cannot be so.
You’ve said that when one is in love, those things cannot possibly be a side of love to which I’ve said. How so, I once quipped. And you’ve replied with honesty and candor that tickles my bone to no end. Love, as you so eloquently played to me is beyond all those things. You cannot love a person if those vile emotions should overcome the unsuspecting soul. Oh no! How can you honestly say you love someone when those things can overcome you, you’ve said.
It was then, after thinking that in some sense that is true. But then how is it that if one is in love, can one feel all that I’ve mentioned? How can one truly be in love when you become jealous, obsessed and quite frankly I find appalling, to accuse the object of your affection of anything but being honest and straightforward?
Yes. I am in love my friend. More so than I have ever thought capable of. I’ve loved many and found some to be more lust than actual love. But for all those that I had loved, no one has ever affected me as this one person has. And in doing so, I’ve allowed my own insecurities to blind me from the truth. That though my heart now belongs to this person to whom I’ve professed my affections for, I’ve yet to overcome my own failings.
Time you say will heal all wounds. But the memory of hurt and sorrow will last a lifetime.
And really good stuff by the way 😊
Originally posted by FëanorAnd as long as you think as you do, and I as well...Well my friend we'll never see eye to eye on love, now will we? Call it romanticism, or whatever you wish...but I cannot think like that.
Dear Friend;I have given it much thought as to our last conversation was, and well, I must disagree with you. I honestly believe that love is not something that can be truly defined as you’ve put it. And since we are all unique and different from one another, I cannot see how my idea as to what love is, is no more correct or wrong for that matter, than it is from yours.
As there are many shades of red (being my favourite colour) I honestly believe there are varying shades to love. But then that’s neither here nor there, now is it. As you’ve said to me before, the glass is always half empty where I see it the other way. You asked: “Are you in love?” To which I’ve said over a dozen time yes. But does being in love make one smart? Yes. And no.
I believe that when one is “in” love, there is also an ugly side that somehow or other seems to find its way to the surface. You’ve asked what that was and I’ve said this many times before. Jealousy, paranoia, insecurities, wild imaginations of some dastardly paramour longing and desiring the affection of your love. And in so many times I have stated thus, you’ve disagreed with me that that cannot be so.
You’ve said that when one is in love, those things cannot possibly be a side of love to which I’ve said. How so, I once quipped. And you’ve replied with honesty and candor that tickles my bone to no end. Love, as you so eloquently played to me is beyond all those things. You cannot love a person if those vile emotions should overcome the unsuspecting soul. Oh no! How can you honestly say you love someone when those things can overcome you, you’ve said.
It was then, after thinking that in some sense that is true. But then how is it that if one is in love, can one feel all that I’ve mentioned? How can one truly be in love when you become jealous, obsessed and quite frankly I find appalling, to accuse the object of your affection of anything but being honest and straightforward?
Yes. I am in love my friend. More so than I have ever thought capable of. I’ve loved many and found some to be more lust than actual love. But for all those that I had loved, no one has ever affected me as this one person has. And in doing so, I’ve allowed my own insecurities to blind me from the truth. That though my heart now belongs to this person to whom I’ve professed my affections for, I’ve yet to overcome my own failings.
Time you say will heal all wounds. But the memory of hurt and sorrow will last a lifetime.
as of late, i have not been in my "Poetic" mode...so therefore i must suffer you all to my stories, it's somewhat therapeutic.
Rooftop Stories...and beer tainted reflections
So once again I find myself in a very contemplative mood. (no surprises there) But before I begin my tale for all of you to enjoy (or snicker at) I should perhaps start from the start of my day. I had been on MSN chatting with the affection of my heart. Sadly, she was still very angry with me…so there were no honeyed words and affectionate sighs of longing and wants, much less words of love. (so poetic, is it not?) Oh no! For that would make life that much more simpler. Do away with complications I say! Alas, none for me.
But, since I do have some responsibilities (I am after all an adult, last I look), I had to end our convo as I was nearly late in getting to my job. (hateful spiteful thing that it is) We said our goodbyes, or so I thought, and I had promised I would call her later and leave her a VM (voicemail) and reply later after work to her emails. Aah! Life of a working man is fraught with so many uncertainties when one is under the whip of the taskmaster, but more so when your mind is focused elsewhere. Hard to concentrate as the mind runneth overmuch with regret and woe! (again, I’m being poetic)
After what seemed like weeks, actually more like 9 hours of drudgery…the whistle blew, I jumped out of the cab and slid down the long deck of my brontosaurus and yelled, “Yaba daba dooooo!” Metaphorically speaking. I get home which by now was a little more than past 9 that night. I turned on my comp and logged in to my email account. And there it was! “You’ve got Mail!” Ran through my mind. I opened each and every one and read it with heartfelt anticipation and a very goofy smile on my face. Sadly, that smile turned upside down. You ask, why? She was still very angry, and her words were stinging, to which I still can feel it right here (points to nowhere).
So with sagging shoulders and silent lamentation, (don’t you just love these words?) I phoned Hector, my friend, to say that I had changed my mind and that I was coming over. But before I get to that, I was on MSN with a very good friend of mine who one day will turn my sappy script into a movie…and, well…I was a passive witness to a dying relationship and I couldn’t help wonder: am I next? Hmm. Such a sad thing to see, and I held whatever advise I had. No need for that I suppose.
So anyway…I get to Hector’s apartment. A quaint two story red-bricked building within a heavily populated Armenian neighborhood, which is two blocks from Hollywood boulevard. I get to his door, and we greet each other with a manly hug but kept a 3.5 cm of space between us, after all we are men! Any closer and we may as well kiss. And that my friend is something I will not do. I say my hello to his girlfriend who is oddly smiling at me, and she has this look about her as if she were up to mischief. I ignore this and shrug indifferent.
We then grab two lawn type chairs and proceed to the roof of the apartment. We set our chairs facing the Hollywood sign, the sky itself was underneath a cloud cover, so no stars much to my regret and it was a bit chilly with a hint of wetness. A thin marine layer was heading inland. (do you not love the ambience I’ve just set). We sat back lazily in our chairs, Hector brought along a six-pack and a pack of smokes. (not really, but it does add nicely to the affect) The beer is true though.
To be honest, I’m not much of a beer drinker but it seemed appropriate at the time. We tapped heads and cheered, “Here’s to women and love.” I said. He retorted, “Let’s not forget sex!!” Right then I wanted to pop him one, but I restrained myself. It’s his way of saying that he gets it nightly and I do not! Even if it is true, no need to annoy me, is there?
So then we looked up to the cloudy night sky as we leaned back in our chairs and sat silently for a while. A moment later he had asked me how things were between me and my affection. I told him honestly I did not know. One minute it seemed we were on the verge of reconciliation, the next minute I was the most hated man on earth. Or so it felt that way. I doubt she really feels that way, but at the time it did.
I told him, (Hector, lest you forget) that I still love her very much. And the angrier she becomes at me, the more she denies or hides what she feels, the more I become enamoured of her. Right then I had thought Hector would think me insane and a likely candidate to a mental institution, but instead he had offered me advise that literally knocked me off my feet. Hector is a very dear friend of mine, and normally he’s not one to give advise in such matters as he’s had not much luck in that department. But what he said did make sense and truthfully, I was a bit surprised to hear him say such things.
more to come
part duex
So began Hector’s tirade of love as I sat silently next to him. And through it all, while he did speak somewhat animatedly, I tried to take it all in even if my mind was somewhat preoccupied. He said that if I truly love this girl no matter what she throws at me that I should stick to it and take it like a man that had done wrong. It is/was in her right to do so and to feel that way. I couldn’t argue that point. And I really don’t have any intentions of giving up to be honest.
He then said that because of my insecurities and low self-esteem that I had become this green-eyed monster when I had no reason to. I took another swallow of my already dwindling beer and tried my best to keep warm as it was getting chillier. He added, that if I did give this girl to whom I’ve professed to god and heaven of my deep and devoted love for, if I were to give her up, relent, let go, deny, turn away to never look back, then I truly did not love her as I’ve claimed to. Made sense.
I said, “But she’s so angry and now I don’t know if she even feels the same for me as before.” Hector could only shrug and said that she has every right to be angry and that what she feels now is a whole lot of love for you but she’s not going to say or even admit that to you (me) until she’s ready to. Give her time he says. Let her rant and rave on for however long it takes. And that I must at least give her that.
The thing is, he continued on, the difference with what I was going through and what most normal relationships that are in the real and now is that when two people have a tizzy fit, there is a verbal barrage followed sometimes by the throwing of pots and pans and of flying fists and a kick here and there thrown in. All that from the woman’s side. You can’t have that when there is a distance between her and I.
And like most normal relationships in the real world, what follows after is the making of mad passionate near god-like beyond description orgasmic on the highest level sex! Or more to the point: make-up sex. So there it was. The one thing that could and should cement what I have after an argument is the make-up sex. I thought about that for all of ten minutes. Oddly enough I felt a stirring of my manhood and an emptiness in my heart.
So ended his sage-like advise, and we sat silently for a time just looking at the Hollywood sign like a beacon in a fog covered night. Reminding me at what I have and what I don’t have. As it was getting late, Hector’s other half came up and asked if we were coming back down. I told Hector he can go and that I wanted to stay up here for a bit more, just to think.
After he left, I put on my iPod and listened to some really sappy songs that did its best to tug at my aching heart. And as I leaned back and closed my eyes while listening to the music playing within my ears. I couldn’t help wonder at the situation I’ve gotten myself into. Had this been one of those inane Hollywood romantic movies where the lead somehow or other comes to a revelation, thus suffer a journey to find a way to win the trust and love of his affection, I’m sure that is what I would do.
But I live in the real world, where responsibilities have a way of getting in my way of actually doing the things that happens in movies, I am pretty much useless to do much. How grand would that be for me, at that moment when I sat there to all of a sudden get up from my melancholic mood, get into my car, drive off to the airport and purchase a ticket to Heaven. And when I had landed, run out the airport, hail a cab, then off we go to her place of residence.
Once there, I’m panting heavily (as if in running) I knock on her door, she opens and is surprised to see me…there is a long moment of silence and as the romantic music playing in the background builds to a crescendo we reach out to each other and embrace followed with a deep longing kiss. HA! But then again, I live in the real world don’t I? And this isn’t a movie…but it did give me an idea for one.
In all honesty, what I did after about an hour or two of sitting there, I got up and just drove home, the emo'tard that I am.
Originally posted by Syrenthanks Sy!!! you really think so? 😱
😱 Emo'tard? 😆Fea, that's simply awesome... I would be absolutely astonished and more than a little ecstatic if people were to write like that more often.
Magnificent.
i thought it might be a bit long in the reading...but i'm glad you liked it