Long distance relationships?

Originally posted by Lana
How on earth does it insinuate a negative connotation? Not all work is tiresome, boring, etc.

And yes, trust, honesty, and compromise are components of a relationship. But they do not create themselves, nor do they stay by themselves. They only exist through the efforts of those in the relationship. And that's why so many relationships don't last. People fall in love. They think that that will carry it, that it will be easy. But it won't, because they'll have never put in the effort to establish the other important things that are needed.

And THAT is why relationships require work to make them last.

Originally posted by Lana
Okay, for starters, the stories of people pretending to not be themselves online are grossly exaggerated. I'd say maybe one of a few thousand people online are not who they say they are. And if they are lying about themselves, it's very, very easy to tell if they are or not. It's hard keeping up a false story all the time. Eventually they'll slip and **** something up.

1) Okay, so...no one can lie in real life or over the phone? Yeah, that happens too.

2) Almost never happens in reality. The only reason you hear about it a lot is because of the sensational media, but as with people pretending to not be who they really are...it's in reality very rare.

3) Yeah, that happens, and that is why I will never say that I am dating someone that I am involved with largely over the internet, because really, you're NOT dating.

4) Also happens in real life/offline.

And you really don't seem to be able to differentiate between long-distance relationships and internet ones. There are many, many people out there (several in this very thread, myself included) who are with someone, have met them, but due to the distances involved cannot be together very often. But they also do not want to let the relationship die, and thus their primary form of communication is online. What about that?

1.) Exactly

2.) Media cant lie about an abduction......Thats just plain stupid.

3.) .......It's still a relationship at first.

4.) Exactly

But you see, I dropped the whole Long distance Relationship and have my mind aimed more into the whole "Internet dating" subject. And who says about differentiating between the two? Or is it what I said that made you think what I said? Please forget the whole long distant relationship because of course they probably met in real life and then one of them move, and of course they still love each other. DUH. but internet Dating is different. Including how ridiculous it is. It is not real love at all. Nor is it love that you have with the partner. It is just two people that dont know each other, that just say "I lOvE U, LOLZ".

Originally posted by JacopeX
Example: The whole "Gangsta" Parody I did a while ago.

With all due respect (None), that was more obviously fake than George Bush's Gay/Lesbian alliance membership card.

-AC

Originally posted by Alpha Centauri
With all due respect (None), that was more obviously fake than Survivor.

-AC

Changed it to be more suitable.

Survivor was more realistic than you being a gangster.

-AC

Originally posted by Alpha Centauri
Changed it to be more suitable.

Survivor was more realistic than you being a gangster.

-AC

Originally posted by Alpha Centauri
Changed it to be more suitable.

Survivor was more realistic than you being a gangster.

-AC

Originally posted by Lana
How on earth does it insinuate a negative connotation? Not all work is tiresome, boring, etc.

And yes, trust, honesty, and compromise are components of a relationship. But they do not create themselves, nor do they stay by themselves. They only exist through the efforts of those in the relationship. And that's why so many relationships don't last. People fall in love. They think that that will carry it, that it will be easy. But it won't, because they'll have never put in the effort to establish the other important things that are needed.

And THAT is why relationships require work to make them last.

Thats what connotations do, strike personal feelings but regardless. "work" is generally used to describe something that requires force and effort. both not very pleasant things to participate in especially when used to things coming to you naturally.

Yes.I'm gonna have to state quite the contrary. They do create themselves. I don't trust every second person I know. I do not have to make an effort to trust someone. It either is there or it isn;t. And I shouldn't have to either. Because that would generally mean I'm off on the wrong track with this "relationship" with that someone. Its intuition, gut feeling et al, call it whatever you will, but if I'm at a point where I don't willingly trsut someone, and feel obliged to...something tells me this isn't going to get anywhere. 😬 Its not quantum physics. just common sense.

Originally posted by JacopeX
Exaggerating? My ass. It is starting to become common among many teens that have no sense whatsoever. Such as Myspace users, AOL/AIM users, Even other sites that have to do with communication with other [B]STRANGERS. And where have you been now days!!!??? It is so easy to lie about yourself. Example: The whole "Gangsta" Parody I did a while ago. Plus, just think about it. It is so easy to lie about your life in many ways. People can be so slick and trust me, they would try everything they can to not **** up like that. yes, they would want to accomplish Abducting another Teen and make them there sex slave or something like that. Hell, I can lie to an average 15 old girl that I am a 19 year old body builder living around her location and she would of course believe it.

1.) Exactly

2.) Media cant lie about an abduction......Thats just plain stupid.

3.) .......It's still a relationship at first.

4.) Exactly

But you see, I dropped the whole Long distance Relationship and have my mind aimed more into the whole "Internet dating" subject. And who says about differentiating between the two? Or is it what I said that made you think what I said? Please forget the whole long distant relationship because of course they probably met in real life and then one of them move, and of course they still love each other. DUH. but internet Dating is different. Including how ridiculous it is. [/B]

Kid, I've been online since you were in kindergarten, probably younger. Myspace has how many millions of people? Yeah, there's going to be people on there who are not who they say they are. But it's not nearly as common as people say it is. Everyone makes a huge deal out of stuff like that and completely blows it out of proportion.

No one believed your little 'gangster' thing and you are seriously deluded if you think anyone did. There is a large difference between lying about yourself, and doing so in a consistent, believable way. Most people never get that down, though. And there are people who fall for it and will meet someone off the internet and find out they were lied to. Honestly, though? They're just as stupid, as chances are they went through no efforts to find out who this person really was. It's not at all hard to do. And living a lie is hard to do and people WILL slip up.

I never said they lie about people being kidnapped. I said it's sensationalist media. They take things like that and blow it up to be some huge deal, making people believe it's a far larger problem than it actually is. Yes, it happens. But does it happen as often as the media will lead you to believe? No, not at all.

I've never had any problems meeting people in person that I've met online. I've done so many times. it's called being smart about it. It's called not meeting the person until you've known them a long while, until you've spoken to them on the phone, you don't meet them unless there are other people with you, and that people know where you are. But some people DON'T bother doing any of this, though, and that's how problems occur. But it's not as common as the media makes it out to be.

Originally posted by Punkyhermy
Thats what connotations do, strike personal feelings but regardless. "work" is generally used to describe something that requires force and effort. both not very pleasant things to participate in especially when used to things coming to you naturally.

I don't know how many or how few relationships you've been in, but they do require effort. Even if it doesn't feel like effort, you're making an effort by even being in the relationship, otherwise you'd just be nothing.

-AC

Originally posted by Alpha Centauri
I don't know how many or how few relationships you've been in, but they do require effort. Even if it doesn't feel like effort, you're making an effort by even being in the relationship, otherwise you'd just be nothing.

-AC

Yeah..thats the thing actually. It shouldn't feel like effort. Thats what seems to make the "work" part of it sound odd.

Originally posted by Punkyhermy
Thats what connotations do, strike personal feelings but regardless. "work" is generally used to describe something that requires force and effort. both not very pleasant things to participate in especially when used to things coming to you naturally.

Yes.I'm gonna have to state quite the contrary. They do create themselves. I don't trust every second person I know. I do not have to make an effort to trust someone. It either is there or it isn;t. And I shouldn't have to either. Because that would generally mean I'm off on the wrong track with this "relationship" with that someone. Its intuition, gut feeling et al, call it whatever you will, but if I'm at a point where I don't willingly trsut someone, and feel obliged to...something tells me this isn't going to get anywhere. 😬 Its not quantum physics. just common sense.

Well, that's life. Just because you're used to things coming to you naturally it doesn't mean that one day you might have to put some effort in. The world isn't an idealistic bed of roses.

And no, they do not create themselves, and you're really quite foolish if you think they do. What about people who instinctively don't trust anyone? They're going to have to build up that trust, which does not happen by itself. It does through efforts on both side; from the person working to show that they deserve this trust, and from the other opening themselves up and building up this trust. Same with being honest. People by nature generally hold things back. It takes effort to completely open up to someone and be 100% honest with them. And compromise? Humans are generally selfish beings, even if they act otherwise. Giving up something you want for someone else, or reaching a compromise in an argument, takes effort.

Intuition and gut feelings are great and all, but they are not enough to carry a relationship. Not if you want it to actually go anywhere and not fizzle out because you expect it to come to you naturally.

Work and effort are not at all bad things. And they're required for doing anything in life.

Long distance relationships are lame.

Originally posted by Punkyhermy
Yeah..thats the thing actually. It shouldn't feel like effort. Thats what seems to make the "work" part of it sound odd.

And George Bush SHOULDN'T be President, but he is.

What should be isn't always what is. Relationships do require effort, a fool would say otherwise.

You are obviously such a blind advocate of love that you feel love just takes care of it, despite love needing humans to exist.

-AC

Originally posted by Lana
Kid, I've been online since you were in kindergarten, probably younger. Myspace has how many millions of people? Yeah, there's going to be people on there who are not who they say they are. But it's not nearly as common as people say it is. Everyone makes a huge deal out of stuff like that and completely blows it out of proportion.

No one believed your little 'gangster' thing and you are seriously deluded if you think anyone did. There is a large difference between lying about yourself, and doing so in a consistent, believable way. Most people never get that down, though. And there are people who fall for it and will meet someone off the internet and find out they were lied to. Honestly, though? They're just as stupid, as chances are they went through no efforts to find out who this person really was. It's not at all hard to do. And living a lie is hard to do and people WILL slip up.

I never said they lie about people being kidnapped. I said it's sensationalist media. They take things like that and blow it up to be some huge deal, making people believe it's a far larger problem than it actually is. Yes, it happens. But does it happen as often as the media will lead you to believe? No, not at all.

I've never had any problems meeting people in person that I've met online. I've done so many times. it's called being smart about it. It's called not meeting the person until you've known them a long while, until you've spoken to them on the phone, you don't meet them unless there are other people with you, and that people know where you are. But some people DON'T bother doing any of this, though, and that's how problems occur. But it's not as common as the media makes it out to be.

Have you even seen the statistics. Here is Inforamtion with Souce.

Only 1/3 of the households with Internet access are proactively protecting their children with filtering or blocking software. Source: Center for Missing and Exploited Children
75% of children are willing to share personal information online about themselves and their family in exchange for goods and services. Source: eMarketer
A study conducted for the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children showed that 75% of children who were approached sexually on the Internet did not tell their parents. The author of the study, David Finkelhor, said: "They were afraid of losing their computer privileges."
A study conducted in 2000 for the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children showed that 1 in 5 of the surveyed children had received a non-aggressive sexual contact over the Internet, while 1 in 33 were asked to meet or were offered money or gifts.
One in 33 youth received an aggressive sexual solicitation in the past year. This means a predator asked a young person to meet somewhere, called a young person on the phone, and/or sent the young person correspondence, money, or gifts through the U.S. Postal Service. Source: Youth Internet Safety Survey
77% of the targets for online predators were age 14 or older. Another 22% were users ages 10 to 13. Source: Crimes Against Children Research Center
Only 17 percent of youth and 11 percent of parents could name a specific authority, such as the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), CyberTipline, or an Internet service provider, to which they could report an Internet crime. Source: Youth Internet Safety Survey

http://www.sdcoe.net/vpi/stat.asp

You can never go wrong with source!

Yea you are "ONE OF" the few that had a successful relationship atleast. but im taling about "Internet dating" Besides Friendship Even though it is a type of relationship aswell, it does not mean it fits in this part of the discussion. And yes you are right, problems occur like that. Mostly among teens and also to young adults and sometimes to older ones aswell.

If you're below 16 and going to meet internet people alone, then it's a case of idiocy, not paedophila being ripe.

-AC

Originally posted by Alpha Centauri
If you're below 16 and going to meet internet people alone, then it's a case of idiocy, not paedophila being ripe.

-AC

Originally posted by JacopeX
Actually, its a growing to become a big deal as most of the Teens now days are willing to give most of there information to ther strangers. So that will [B]HAVE to mean that the chances of a teen being abducted is high. It is all a build up into one thing. Not all things exaggerate for the reasons you call "Just Exaggerating". They have reasons always for any report. Statistics, Data, Ect. Abd please dont call me Kid. I might of not used the "Internets" as long as you but I do know that I have used it long enough to know it as much as you do. it does not matter, and I repeat IT DOES NOT MATTER who uses the INTERNET longer. because it is like saying "Who knows more about cars?" Well one person has studied cars for 15 years and already knew everything about cars in only five years while the other has studied cars for five years and knows everything about cars just like that. These are flexible thoughts I use all the time.

Have you even seen the statistics. Here is Inforamtion with Souce.

http://www.sdcoe.net/vpi/stat.asp

You can never go wrong with source!

Yea you are "ONE OF" the few that had a successful relationship atleast. but im taling about "Internet dating" Besides Friendship Even though it is a type of relationship aswell, it does not mean it fits in this part of the discussion. And yes you are right, problems occur like that. Mostly among teens and also to young adults and sometimes to older ones aswell. [/B]

Well, you are a kid, so why shouldn't I call you one? You're not 18 yet.

That's one single source, and frankly, all of it comes down to one thing, and that's the kids not being monitored or taught what they should and shouldn't do online. And who's fault is that? Their parents. It's just like the "dump the kids in front of the TV and then whine when they see something they shouldn't" argument, or "give an 8 year old GTA and then have a fit because they're swearing at people". Maybe the parents should actually do their job as parents instead of blaming everyone else when something happens they don't like?

Filtering and blocking softwares do not work, btw. They'll block perfectly innocent sites but still leave access to sites that a kid possibly should not be on.

Also, I'm not really buying that source as it doesn't say how many people were in these surveys. Unless it was a few thousand or more, then there is no way for it to be anything remotely approaching accurate.

Originally posted by Punkyhermy
wow..you just don't give it a rest do you?

i'll tell you what will hold you together for real, sitting still every once in a while.

Originally posted by Röland
If that works out for you, then more power to you, but I have to ask one thing.

You have only talked to this guy, never actually met him and want to spend the rest of your life with him? Not saying that you couldn't do that if you wanted to, but I'd put more thought into it and wait till you meet him if I were you.

Originally posted by Leo.M
My god... you have to be the most retarded person on KMC.

If people ARE in love they can make it work. It doesn't matter how far away they are. What matters is that they both feel the same burning passion for one another. Sure it WOULD be better if they lived close to each other, but some just can't for whatever reason. If they are the one meant for you, how is it stupid, pointless, and pathetic to try and make it work? 😬

*Lives in WA and is in Love with a girl in NY*

Originally posted by Lana
Well, I'd say that meeting more than once, and working out long-term plans, and at the same time acknowledging the fact that while it'd be great that it works out, life may not agree, is certainly a large step to making it successful in the long run.

This has turned into some Springer sh** right now.

Originally posted by Gisele
you see I m moving 45 mins away from where I live now..which here is where my boyfriend lives! I m only 14 and hes 15 but we want to stay 2gether! I told ma mom I was gonna run away and live here on ma own..but I didn't! But he wants to have a long distance relatophship like I do 2...my mom says I can speak to him on the phone and instant message him and maybe see him on da weekends! Ever had a long distance relationship?

They don't work!