Flirting

Originally posted by mc_thunda
Do you think people in different countries with different up bringings act or feel in a different way??? I have one very good friend who is English and has a German girlfriend. having worked with him(Paul) I have realised that I have grown up in a society where it's the norm. to be a so called player (for a male) or a sl*t (for a female). I have grown up in and out of relationships with this drilled into the back of my mind. I can't get the idea out of my head that a female or male can 'Flirt' without having that intention of gettin' a FU*K out of it!!!!! Where I have lived and the way I have been brought up I don't think there's anything wrong with being this way!!! If your not in a relationship.. Once you have vowed to be i a relationship then you should chuck all these standards out-tha-window....!!!! Agree!!!!????? 🙄 🙄 🙄

Obviously you believe in living life to the max, but only whilst single.

I do understand what you're saying and part of me agrees with you but you have to admit that the conditions for a relationship have to based on both parties... not just your own. You believe that once you commit to someone you must never again act in a flirtatious or provocative manner, which I can understand... but it depends on the intention behind the flirtatious behaviour. If your partner flirts for the sole reason of getting laid, then they are not someone you should even consider committing yourself to. If, however, your partner is a naturally approachable person who adores the limelight and thrives on attention it shouldn't be down to you to shut them in a box because of your 'prudish' beliefs. You have to make your judgement, as partners, based on the ulterior motive behind the flirtatious behaviour.

lol

Originally posted by Syren
Obviously you believe in living life to the max, but only whilst single.

I do understand what you're saying and part of me agrees with you but you have to admit that the conditions for a relationship have to based on both parties... not just your own. You believe that once you commit to someone you must never again act in a flirtatious or provocative manner, which I can understand... but it depends on the intention behind the flirtatious behaviour. If your partner flirts for the sole reason of getting laid, then they are not someone you should even consider committing yourself to. If, however, your partner is a naturally approachable person who adores the limelight and thrives on attention it shouldn't be down to you to shut them in a box because of your 'prudish' beliefs. You have to make your judgement, as partners, based on the ulterior motive behind the flirtatious behaviour.

I think it, once again depends on intention. Even if the flirtation objective is not to "get laid," but simply to gain the attention of other members of the opposite sex, the relationship may not be that strong. I feel that in a commited relationship, your partner should not need to seek to attraction of others to feel good about themselves.

then that's not flirtatious, that's Friendliness, then thats acceptable...!!! Of course you can be friendly... It all depends on what you define 'Flirtatious' by??? There is a definite line which by no means should be crossed in any circumstances whist in a relationship.

Originally posted by mc_thunda
then that's not flirtatious, that's Friendliness, then thats acceptable...!!! Of course you can be friendly... It all depends on what you define 'Flirtatious' by??? There is a definite line which by no means should be crossed in any circumstances whist in a relationship.

Flirtation is behavior which projects a romantic interest in another party. Your partner should not be behaving in this way toward other males.

Originally posted by Oswald Kenobi
I think it, once again depends on intention. Even if the flirtation objective is not to "get laid," but simply to gain the attention of other members of the opposite sex, the relationship may not be that strong. I feel that in a commited relationship, your partner should not need to seek to attraction of others to feel good about themselves.

That's true... but if the person wasn't doing it either for the sexual reason, or a reassurance reason, but instead for the fact that they simply love attention, that isn't crossing the mutual line of respect.

Originally posted by Oswald Kenobi
Flirtation is behavior which projects a romantic interest in another party. Your partner should not be behaving in this way toward other males.

I don't believe this... I think flirtation can be defined differently. NOT as a sexual connotation, or as a romantic motive, but simply because the person loves the limelight. This isn't crossing the line!

Originally posted by Syren
That's true... but if the person wasn't doing it either for the sexual reason, or a reassurance reason, but instead for the fact that they simply love attention, that isn't crossing the mutual line of respect.

Well said. I think then it would come down to the level of flirtation. I have had girlfriends flirt with my friends and my friends girlfriends flirt with me. The level of flirtation was very low, and almost as a parody than anything serious. I see nothing wrong with that kind of behavior.

Originally posted by Syren
I don't believe this... I think flirtation can be defined differently. NOT as a sexual connotation, or as a romantic motive, but simply because the person loves the limelight. This isn't crossing the line!

I don't see flirtation as simply grabbing the limelight. There is always a romantic or sexual connotation to it.

Please read: not intention.

I apologize for bringing up an old post, but I havent been on for the better part of this "heated debate."

Originally posted by Syren
It's always about sex with a male... if they are flirting with a woman there will only ever be one motive; to sleep with her. With women, generally, it is initially to gauge a reaction, to get reassurance that they are physically attractive and perhaps to sleep with the male.

This I have to disagree with this. I flirt with females to gauge reactions, to assure females that yes I do find them attractive, and to either assure or reassure them that they can be more comfortable around me. When I flirt, I BARELY make physical contact. I will occasionally touch them, but generally on the small of their back or other not so commonly touched areas. (Please do not take this as a naughty thing.) But, when I flirt, I usually just... act like me I guess. I make the girl laugh, I just make her feel comfortable. Secure, if you will.

I flirt with alot of females, are you prepared to hold that "It's always about the sex" theory up to me? Or any other guy who flirts harmlessly.

Why is it harmless generally with women, but with men it's ALWAYS about the sex? That's a rash, unfounded and pointless generalisation. If women are of the persuasion that casual sex is ok (as they should be, stay safe), then they will always know if a man is someone they'd f*ck or not. So to say they flirt generally to gauge a reaction and see if they find him attractive, that's not the case by far.

I only do that because I'm single at the moment. When I'm in a relationship I never intentionally flirt with other females. Why? Because I personally believe that while the intention isn't always to get laid, flirting is something people do when they have an attraction or want to arouse attraction. Sometimes the way I naturally am could be seen as flirting, but I never interact with another woman as a taken man, with the intention of flirting.

I wouldn't like it if my girl did that, I'm sure she wouldn't like it if I did either.

If it IS just out of natural comfort that you flirt then no actual harm done but some people (like your partner) may not like it. I try to be considerate in relationships.

I can see why Syren thinks it's about limelight, because she flirts and is coincidentally an attention whore (Self-proclaimed and proud. I repeat, self-proclaimed. She calls herself it).

However, when people flirt it's because they want to get a reaction from someone. Not from many people. So I can't really see where the limelight theory comes into it unless you're establishing it out of your own personal flirtacious ways.

-AC

some of you seem to take sexual motives as meaning "only about sex".

Are you telling me that you flirt with fat or ugly girls that you have no desire to date whatsoever?

I made the comparison between men and women flirting. Men flirt with those females he finds attractive, sexually appealing. Ofcourse if given his way this may lead to dating.....which in time will lead to sex. A woman in this post stated that she flirted with men she had no interest in..........which I said was a bit mean and disrespectful. Sure, she flirts with him in hopes that he'll flirt back making her feel desired.......but if she has no interest in him, why make him think you do? She's boosting her own self esteem at the cost of lowering his when she shoots him down because she's not attracted to him.

im like super-flirty, but i dont flirt, and yet i do. im really wierd. i just got DigiMark007 to hug me.....i like hugs and solicite them to everybody. and im a high contact individual. everyone thinks im a 'mo and its really starting to miiff me. what do i do?cry

Ok, unfounded generalisation from the point of view of the male so I apologise... I am not male and therefore base my opinion on experience ✅

I love attention, so for ME it's about the limelight. That's where the idea came from, AC.

Originally posted by Syren
I love attention, so for ME it's about the limelight. That's where the idea came from, AC.

Clearly missed this:

Originally posted by Alpha Centauri
I can see why Syren thinks it's about limelight, because she flirts and is coincidentally an attention whore (Self-proclaimed and proud. I repeat, self-proclaimed. She calls herself it).

Read my posts.

-AC

I think what she refers to as "the limelight" is merely and ego boost..........an esteem booster, to hell with the self esteem of others.

Everyone links attention. Forget attention, how about something of substance? Getting attention by flirting is not much different from falling on your ass in the middle of a crowded club. Everyone sees you, but one only gleans from the experience what that person will. Flirting is an art form. One that doesn't reveal too much, but just enough.

Flirting is also not really for attention from the crowd. If that's what you're seeking by flirting, then you have your priorities all screwed up. That's whatmakes you a whore. Flirting only happens between two individuals. Unless of course, you run into a group of swingers in the bar at your local chain resturant.

I'm a flirt, flirtings' fun. 🙂

I love to flirt.

So I noticed. 😛

Yeah, I wanna flirt with someone I've never talked to before, but no one seems worthy right now... 🙄