Spanking children == Sexual Abuse?!!!

I've read through this whole thread and i am in total agreement with bilb. You really have to be a parent to get the whole picture here, not saying you cant have intelligent and insightful opinions but there is no teacher like practice.
I have 2 boys myself and have smacked my oldest (6yrs) when i feel its warranted (my youngest is only 4 months so he is safe for now). I know I'm not a bad parent and i know my kids are not unruly, smacking your child sometimes is the only way to get the point across IMO.
Obviously there is a huge difference between that and losing the plot and beating them black and blue, but common sense should tell you which one is which. If a parent cant tell the difference between beating and smacking then the ones who can shouldn't have to suffer.
Those of you who will not smack your kids when you have them i wish you luck.

Originally posted by Bardock42
Well I care for some but in general...no...not really

Point in joining KMC is that I like to argue...I like to read a good post (granted I could have read it without joining), I like to write stuff as pointless as it sometimes may be....so I joined KMC for my fun which at that time didn't involve caring fopr company or being in a community to feel good (it still doesn't but there are some people here I vry much enjoy talking to)

It was not...in no way....It was the most reasonable thing to think....why should beating be ok just cause she needs it to raise her kids...others don't......I don't say its worse or better to beat your kids...but if they need beating it is either cause the parent can't deal with it differen or the kid needs them once in a while...some kids are like that......I didn't mean to say that her kids are psychos...and I didn't...youi all just took it wrong...I don't blame you for it though.

Bardock and me...I am pretty sure 😛 .... but yes it is.....

Bardock

Don't let them give you too hard a time.

Cheers

Originally posted by Bardock42
But that is what I was saying.... I said in the beginning of a sentence it has to be "Bardock and I" and in the end it has to be " Bardock and me" ....that'S what you are saying too...I mean I am still rather sure theat I am right so...here's to you Mr. FeceMan:

"The caring comment is a clever joke, due to another thread between Bardock and I."

Is this sentence right or wrong?

"The cat stood across from [Bardock and] me" versus "The cat stood across from [Bardock and] I".

Between is a preposition (as is across), so what bilb said initially is correct.

My sincerest apologies...I'm quite ashamed of my grammatical gaff.

Originally posted by Capt_Fantastic
Bardock

Don't let them give you too hard a time.

Cheers

Yeah..:i will keep that in mind....

Originally posted by FeceMan
Actually, I relinquish my original stand. After a bit of thought, 'Bardock and me' is appropriate since there is no verb to go along with it.

"The cat stood across from [Bardock and] me" versus "The cat stood across from [Bardock and] I".

Between is a preposition (as is across), so what bilb said initially is correct.

My sincerest apologies...I'm quite ashamed of my grammatical gaff.

Well that's what I am saying all along...but no.......damn people.....

Originally posted by pr1983
like what? im genuinely curious, not being sarcastic...

Time out, or simple mind games that cause intimidation, or simply ignoring the child when they do something wrong. These are, generally speaking, almost always far more effective then spanking, especially when used in combination with positive reinforcement.

For example, when I was being a little shithead, my dad used to threaten spankings, he said "if you don't go do what I'm telling you to do by the count of ten, you're going to get it.". He'd then start counting to ten, slowly, his voice would raise gradually with each number, I never allowed it to get to ten because I was truly afraid of what he had in store for me. The fact that he could be incredibly intimidating helped this infinitely.

Of course, this isn't for everyone. One of the best ways to punish a child is to ignore them cold turkey when they're doing something bad. Where as you give them loads of attention when they do something good. Children crave attention, and, sadly, all to often children only get attention from their parents when they do something wrong, so they'll purposely break the rules and piss of their parents to get more and more attention. This is why I say that spanking usually stems from lazy parenting, the parents are often to lazy and inept to give the children the positive attention they need, only giving them negative attention when they screw up, thus, the kids will take what they can get, negative attention included.

Originally posted by BackFire
Time out, or simple mind games that cause intimidation, or simply ignoring the child when they do something wrong. These are, generally speaking, almost always far more effective then spanking, especially when used in combination with positive reinforcement.

For example, when I was being a little shithead, my dad used to threaten spankings, he said "if you don't go do what I'm telling you to do by the count of ten, you're going to get it.". He'd then start counting to ten, slowly, his voice would raise gradually with each number, I never allowed it to get to ten because I was truly afraid of what he had in store for me. The fact that he could be incredibly intimidating helped this infinitely.

Of course, this isn't for everyone. One of the best ways to punish a child is to ignore them cold turkey when they're doing something bad. Where as you give them loads of attention when they do something good. Children crave attention, and, sadly, all to often children only get attention from their parents when they do something wrong, so they'll purposely break the rules and piss of their parents to get more and more attention. This is why I say that spanking usually stems from lazy parenting, the parents are often to lazy and inept to give the children the positive attention they need, only giving them negative attention when they screw up, thus, the kids will take what they can get, negative attention included.

Is though fear better than violence.

I lecture and have been in charge of pastoral duties at a school when a teacher. I obviously could not hit students (have I ever wanted to? 😉Never I say! perhaps with a tad to much conviction 😕) ) Therefore other strategies have to be availabel. Personally I believe with older children and I mean 11 to 21 the range I have taught at some point. Explanation works better than either.

Originally posted by whirlysplat
😕) )

I encounter this problem sometimes, too. Where you put a smilie inside parenthesis and it reads the 🙂 part of it.

Originally posted by BackFire
For example, when I was being a little shithead, my dad used to threaten spankings, he said "if you don't go do what I'm telling you to do by the count of ten, you're going to get it.".

backfire, dispite what you may say to the contrary, from what you say here, it seems that you were just an exceptionally well behaved child and/or your dad had a very commanding presence. many kids will sit there and wait for '10', because they test how far they can push their parents. for most kids, they need at least a single spanking, simply to know what comes after '10'.
and just so you know, i was very rarely spanked, simply because, like you, i had no desire to find out what came after '3' (thats right, i only got 1,2,3 you lucky bastard 😛 ) and instead of an open hand slap i got the wooden spoon. now that stung like a b*tch.

Originally posted by BackFire
Time out, or simple mind games that cause intimidation, or simply ignoring the child when they do something wrong. These are, generally speaking, almost always far more effective then spanking, especially when used in combination with positive reinforcement.

For example, when I was being a little shithead, my dad used to threaten spankings, he said "if you don't go do what I'm telling you to do by the count of ten, you're going to get it.". He'd then start counting to ten, slowly, his voice would raise gradually with each number, I never allowed it to get to ten because I was truly afraid of what he had in store for me. The fact that he could be incredibly intimidating helped this infinitely.

Of course, this isn't for everyone. One of the best ways to punish a child is to ignore them cold turkey when they're doing something bad. Where as you give them loads of attention when they do something good. Children crave attention, and, sadly, all to often children only get attention from their parents when they do something wrong, so they'll purposely break the rules and piss of their parents to get more and more attention. This is why I say that spanking usually stems from lazy parenting, the parents are often to lazy and inept to give the children the positive attention they need, only giving them negative attention when they screw up, thus, the kids will take what they can get, negative attention included.

You really do leave my head spinning, BF 🙄

I find myself disagreeing vehemently with half the things you say and then passionately standing by your side with the other half. It's madness 😂

Originally posted by botankus
I encounter this problem sometimes, too. Where you put a smilie inside parenthesis and it reads the 🙂 part of it.

I've only recently learned to leave spaces where spaces are needed 😮

My previous partner had two children and I was their "step parent" if you like for 5 years. Its in some ways more difficult because a lot of what real parents are allowed to do you simply cannot consider. So you have to find other options. Again explanation as to why a punishment was required/given I found was the key.

Originally posted by Bardock42
Yeah..:i will keep that in mind....

Well that's what I am saying all along...but no.......damn people.....

I was like, "Damn, I wish KMC had a better edit function."

Originally posted by PVS
backfire, dispite what you may say to the contrary, from what you say here, it seems that you were just an exceptionally well behaved child and/or your dad had a very commanding presence. many kids will sit there and wait for '10', because they test how far they can push their parents. for most kids, they need at least a single spanking, simply to know what comes after '10'.
and just so you know, i was very rarely spanked, simply because, like you, i had no desire to find out what came after '3' (thats right, i only got 1,2,3 you lucky bastard 😛 ) and instead of an open hand slap i got the wooden spoon. now that stung like a b*tch.

It was a combination of the two, more or less. My father could be one of the most intimidating people in the world if he wanted to, he did, as you said, have a very commanding presence when he was mad, and he was able to make his eyes so huge that it looked like he was beyond mad, when in reality it was just a bluff, he later told me.

Like I said, the occasional spanking for extreme circumstances is acceptable, maybe even desired, but the parents who rely on spanking as the sole disciplinary action are the lazy folk I'm referring to.

You really do leave my head spinning, BF roll eyes (sarcastic)

I find myself disagreeing vehemently with half the things you say and then passionately standing by your side with the other half. It's madness laughing out loud

It's becuase you have a crazy school girl crush on me, obviously, the only way to resolve it is to have a night of good hard sex with me, it would be even more helpful to yourself if you dressed up in a nurses outfit or a schoolgirl uniform. 😱

Spanking is simply done ON the buttocks, because the buttocks can absorb more damage and pain, and because IT HURTS when you sit down.

Originally posted by BackFire
Time out, or simple mind games that cause intimidation, or simply ignoring the child when they do something wrong. These are, generally speaking, almost always far more effective then spanking, especially when used in combination with positive reinforcement.

For example, when I was being a little shithead, my dad used to threaten spankings, he said "if you don't go do what I'm telling you to do by the count of ten, you're going to get it.". He'd then start counting to ten, slowly, his voice would raise gradually with each number, I never allowed it to get to ten because I was truly afraid of what he had in store for me. The fact that he could be incredibly intimidating helped this infinitely.

Of course, this isn't for everyone. One of the best ways to punish a child is to ignore them cold turkey when they're doing something bad. Where as you give them loads of attention when they do something good. Children crave attention, and, sadly, all to often children only get attention from their parents when they do something wrong, so they'll purposely break the rules and piss of their parents to get more and more attention. This is why I say that spanking usually stems from lazy parenting, the parents are often to lazy and inept to give the children the positive attention they need, only giving them negative attention when they screw up, thus, the kids will take what they can get, negative attention included.

I appreciate your explaining why you feel the way you do.. however.. I suffered sever emotional abuse as a child and I can tell you from experience that a good mindf*ck done on a kid by their parents has lifelong repercussions.. as does physical abuse obviously.. My point is that I would much rather my parents given me a spanking & let that be that rather than using emotional mindgames as discipline.. I just cant begin to tell you how debilitating it truly can be

Originally posted by bilb
I appreciate your explaining why you feel the way you do.. however.. I suffered sever emotional abuse as a child and I can tell you from experience that a good mindf*ck done on a kid by their parents has lifelong repercussions.. as does physical abuse obviously.. My point is that I would much rather my parents given me a spanking & let that be that rather than using emotional mindgames as discipline.. I just cant begin to tell you how debilitating it truly can be

I had severe physical abuse and ended up adopted in the end. I think disussion is the only way to go, explanation, sensible punishment and boundaries.

Originally posted by bilb
I appreciate your explaining why you feel the way you do.. however.. I suffered sever emotional abuse as a child and I can tell you from experience that a good mindf*ck done on a kid by their parents has lifelong repercussions.. as does physical abuse obviously.. My point is that I would much rather my parents given me a spanking & let that be that rather than using emotional mindgames as discipline.. I just cant begin to tell you how debilitating it truly can be

Well, when I say mind games I don't mean anything extreme or traumatizing. Something like I explained above (the counting to 10 thing).

Originally posted by bilb
I appreciate your explaining why you feel the way you do.. however.. I suffered sever emotional abuse as a child and I can tell you from experience that a good mindf*ck done on a kid by their parents has lifelong repercussions.. as does physical abuse obviously.. My point is that I would much rather my parents given me a spanking & let that be that rather than using emotional mindgames as discipline.. I just cant begin to tell you how debilitating it truly can be

I understand this also, as my brother went through it alot.

Originally posted by Kuntz
I had severe physical abuse and ended up adopted in the end. I think disussion is the only way to go, explanation, sensible punishment and boundaries.

Its quite something when you hear the reasons behind peoples opinions isnt it? I feel really horrible that you (or any kid) had to endure that.. and because of that I can see why you would be against it... we all have our own baggage & stories & experiences that shape who we are and what we believe.. not that your opinion wasnt valuable before but knowing this is your rationale behind it I can appreciate it on a whole new level even if i dont agree with you.. and bravo to you for making it thru such an experience 🙂