A man walks into a bar and asks for a beer. "Certainly, sir," says the bartender. "That'll be one cent." "One penny?!" exclaims the guy. "That’s right."
So the guy glances at the menu and asks, "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with fries, peas and a salad?""Certainly, sir," replies the bartender. "That’ll be four cents." "Four cents?" says the guy.
"Jeez, I’d like to meet the guy who owns this place!" "He’s upstairs with my wife," says the bartender. "What's he doing with your wife?" asks the guy. "Same as what I'm doing to his business."
this was too cool for the other thread anyway
Heres joke, not for the kids, though...
This couple is laying in bed when the wife wakes up and says: "Honey, wake up, I...I just had the strangest dream"
"Oh yeah, what was it about" The husband asks
"well, i was at an auction and they were auctioning off Penis'. The really big ones were about 5,000 bucks...and the 2 inchers went for about 50..."
So the husband asks "how much was mine?"
She says "oh, they were giving yours away for free!"
Then the husband remembers his dream "Honey, i had a similar dream!."
"oh yeah, baby, what was it like?" She asks
"well i was at a vagina auction and they were selling the really nice vaginas for 50 grand, and the older ones for about 2,000."
"oh yeah, how much was mine worth?"
"Worth? Thats where they were holding the damn auction"