“The Really Big Tree is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to the Really Big Tree.”
~ The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy on Really Big Tree
The magnitude of this tree cannot be exaggerated. This has got to be the tallest frickin' tree that has ever existed and will ever exist. It's like a skyscraper made of wood and leaves and birds. I bet if you climbed this tree it would take you 500 years, and if you didn't die of old age, you'd die due to lack of air because it's so damn tall there would be no air at the top[2]. They probably have to alter the flight routes of high-flying planes in order for them to avoid this gigantic, monolithic tree.
In French this tree might be called le grande arbre[3]", in Spanish: el treeablo grande, in German: ze really big tree dustanagretzershtrazergeistweight! Instead of sending rockets to the moon, they should just get the astronauts to climb this tree to get into space, IT'S THAT ****ING BIG! I bet if you needed a place to store everything in the universe, you could hollow out this tree and stick every single thing ever created in the universe in it, and still have room for 7 cows, Yankee Stadium, and your aunt Betty. OK, maybe not your aunt Betty, that's asking for too much. This tree is so goddamn big. This tree is the greatest thing in the universe, it's so big! Hell, it IS the universe!
Originally posted by staraddict93
“The Really Big Tree is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to the Really Big Tree.”~ The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy on Really Big Tree
The magnitude of this tree cannot be exaggerated. This has got to be the tallest frickin' tree that has ever existed and will ever exist. It's like a skyscraper made of wood and leaves and birds. I bet if you climbed this tree it would take you 500 years, and if you didn't die of old age, you'd die due to lack of air because it's so damn tall there would be no air at the top[2]. They probably have to alter the flight routes of high-flying planes in order for them to avoid this gigantic, monolithic tree.In French this tree might be called le grande arbre[3]", in Spanish: el treeablo grande, in German: ze really big tree dustanagretzershtrazergeistweight! Instead of sending rockets to the moon, they should just get the astronauts to climb this tree to get into space, IT'S THAT ****ING BIG! I bet if you needed a place to store everything in the universe, you could hollow out this tree and stick every single thing ever created in the universe in it, and still have room for 7 cows, Yankee Stadium, and your aunt Betty. OK, maybe not your aunt Betty, that's asking for too much. This tree is so goddamn big. This tree is the greatest thing in the universe, it's so big! Hell, it IS the universe!
At first I thought it was maybe two or three trees. Or a whole group of trees, on a hill. But it was just this one huge ****in' tree. This tree must've eaten other trees to grow so huge. I bet it used to be in a forest once, and it ate every last tree around it, drawing sustenance from their rotten logs. I bet the roots go down pretty deep too. So deep that they probably soak up oil instead of water, hell, the roots probably soak up magma.
Logical Theories on Why the Tree is So Damn Big
As mentioned above, the tree probably has gotten as big as it is by feeding off other trees. It uses its massive roots to search for other trees, and being the size that it is, can tunnel practically anywhere on Earth. It then entangles its roots with its prey's roots and pulls the tree down into the ground and into it's gaping jaws at the bottom of the stump. Have you ever been walking to where you thought there was a tree when in reality was just a hole? There was a tree there once, but not anymore. The tree got it, and it will get yours too. To prevent your trees from being feasted upon, it would be wise to tie them to a rock or something. Really big trees hate rocks.
Captain Planet
Bullshit. Summoned from the Really Big Tree. Nice mullet too, *******.