The 2,000,000th post game

THE BANKER:
Nicolas Hoult/The Beast

Samuel L. Jackson/The Octopus, Nick Fury

Anthony Mackie/The Falcon

TODAY IS

35 bottles of beer on the wall,
35 bottles of beer.
Take one Down, pass it around,
34 bottles of beer on the wall.

And what if you go to jail?

The thought of my woman in prison lifting rusty weights and getting hard, fighting for her life in the shower, all soaped up and shiny? MMMMM.

You can’t stop in the middle of a cha cha.

That’s how grandma tore her ACL!

Why does your generation have to label everything?!?

Just...stop it!

AND

At Fatburger, you can order a "Hypocrite"—a veggie burger topped with crispy strips of bacon.

When asked who owned the patent on the polio vaccine, Jonas Salk said, "Well, the people. There is no patent. Could you patent the sun?"

The Q in Q-tips stands for quality.

Editor Bennett Cerf challenged Dr. Seuss to write a book using no more than 50 different words. The result? Green Eggs and Ham.

The act of stretching and yawning is called pandiculation.