Behind every successful man there is Chuck Norris.
Black holes are where Chuck Norris divided by zero.
The three pyramids of Giza in Egypt are actually three pieces of hair of a statue of Chuck Norris... the rest of it is just buried in the sand by Chuck Norris because the builders messed up his beard by one hair. He then killed them with the 10 plague's.
The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer.
In 1994 The WWF (now the WWE) offer Chuck Norris a free ticket to see an event. When the event was over Chuck Norris have become a referee, subdue all the wrestlers, and the WWF had to re-name the event "Survivor Series with Chuck Norris"
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Originally posted by DanZeke25
If at first you don't succeed, you are obviously not Chuck Norris.
Classic! 😂
If a tree falls in the middle of a forest and no one is anywhere around, rest assured that Chuck Norris heard it.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
What do a Fireman, Paramedic, and a Police Officer yell when in danger? "CHUCK NORRIS!"
When Aliens invade earth and say "take us to your leader" eveyone points to Chuck Norris home.
Chuck Norris took the virginity of 94% of all women the remaining 6% were either to fat or ugly.
An anagram for Walker Texas Ranger is KARATE WRANGLER SEX. I don't know what that is, but it sounds AWESOME.
Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel and Arnold Schwarzenegger have all died and are in Heaven. Each of them hope to occupy the seat next to God. God asks Vin Diesel why he thinks he should have the seat and Vin replies, "I believe... I should have the seat because of the virtuosity in my toughness and pride." Arnie says, "I believe... that I should be the one sitting next to you because of all my achievements." God then turns to Chuck Norris, who replies with, "I believe... you are sitting in my seat."
Originally posted by Inspectah Deck
Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel and Arnold Schwarzenegger have all died and are in Heaven. Each of them hope to occupy the seat next to God. God asks Vin Diesel why he thinks he should have the seat and Vin replies, "I believe... I should have the seat because of the virtuosity in my toughness and pride." Arnie says, "I believe... that I should be the one sitting next to you because of all my achievements." God then turns to Chuck Norris, who replies with, "I believe... you are sitting in my seat."
Chuck Norris can't die. 😬