Chuck "The Badass" Norris [Merged]

Started by Mišt20 pages

On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

😂

I love them.

Originally posted by Dusty
coffee1

If I had a penny for every time this was posted..

Well, for dividing by zero, the thing is that mathmatician's are coming up with a new number that represents a factor of numbers divided by zero. This will help for many calculators, and for most calculating machines such as the ones used in airports and will let them keep going instead of stopping and saying error. smartass

Chuck Norris kicks people who make duplicate threads into the sun.

😐

That's really all I feel like posting in this Cheetah Girl of a thread.

Originally posted by Barker
Nah.

Originally posted by Lana
Chuck Norris kicks people who make duplicate threads into the sun.

😐

Lucky for me, then, since I don't.

Originally posted by Ultraman Baltan
Lucky for me, then, since I don't.

This appears to be a duplicate thread to me, being as we already have one of Chuck Norris 'facts'.

Never heard of it.

http://www.killermovies.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=377425&highlight=title%3Achuck+norris+forumid%3A61

It's amazing what can be found when you actually search.

My search is down. 😐

Originally posted by Ultraman Baltan
My search is down. 😐
The search on the site there guy.

Originally posted by ~King of Pie~
The search on the site there guy.

Holy crap, you're serious? This whole time I was using google.

[/sarcasm]

The Church of Chuck Norris

The Book of Norris 9:5

And so Chuck Norris walked across the water, for who was gravity to deny Chuck Norris pleasure, and stood in all his glory. It was then that Chuck Norris began to create all life in the sea as we know it, and he created the fish and the sharks and the whales and all the other manner of creatures that Chuck Norris could come up with.
And Norris was pleased with what he had created and with a wave of his hand he doth commanded a giant squid and a sperm whale to do battle for a full three days for his enjoyment. Whilst watching the battle unfold he created the shrimp cocktail on which he then started to consume.
After the three days of battle had finished Chuck Norris was pleased, for he had viewed a battle between his creations. With another wave of his hand both sperm whale and giant squid were vaporized in a blast of fire. What Chuck Norris created Chuck Norris could destroy for that was the way of Norris and the ways of Norris are infallible and none are able to dispute it for Chuck Norris is God.

The Book of Norris. Let he who worships Chuck Norris add his knowledge to this sacred book so that Chuck Norris may be remembered for forever.

not that he isn't going to be already.

Re: The Church of Chuck Norris

Originally posted by spadoinkle
The Book of Norris 9:5

And so Chuck Norris walked across the water, for who was gravity to deny Chuck Norris pleasure, and stood in all his glory. It was then that Chuck Norris began to create all life in the sea as we know it, and he created the fish and the sharks and the whales and all the other manner of creatures that Chuck Norris could come up with.
And Norris was pleased with what he had created and with a wave of his hand he doth commanded a giant squid and a sperm whale to do battle for a full three days for his enjoyment. Whilst watching the battle unfold he created the shrimp cocktail on which he then started to consume.
After the three days of battle had finished Chuck Norris was pleased, for he had viewed a battle between his creations. With another wave of his hand both sperm whale and giant squid were vaporized in a blast of fire. What Chuck Norris created Chuck Norris could destroy for that was the way of Norris and the ways of Norris are infallible and none are able to dispute it for Chuck Norris is God.

The Book of Norris. Let he who worships Chuck Norris as his knowledge to this sacred book so that Chuck Norris may be remembered for forever.

not that he isn't going to be already.

Chuck would be pleased

Yes, he would 🙂

The Book of Norris 1:1

In the beginning there was just Norris. For many a millennia Chuck Norris was alone for he was everything. Then billions of years ago Chuck Norris decided to create space and everything in it. With a blink of his eye galaxies were created and planets popped into existence. It was then that Norris noted one galaxy in particular. On a whim Norris spoke to his creation and said, "I have found ye worthy of baring my image and on one of your planets I shall create a being of my creation."
With that Chuck Norris randomly selected one of the planets in the galaxy and began to mold it into a place where his creations could live and prosper. On the first day he terra-formed the landscape and added the forests and seas. On the second day he created all of the species that would be used by the people in his image. On the third he spent the full twenty-four creating a being in his image, for anything that was related to Norris had to be perfect. After the three days Chuck Norris stepped back and admired his work.
It was then that Chuck Norris stepped back and took a seat on the planet Mars to watch his creations and how they went about there life. Thousands of years passed, which to Norris seemed like two years. After watching his creations that he saw that they did not truly worship him. His creations had had the tenacity to worship different beings then him. It was then that Norris said, "This is heresy of the deepest order." and with that he grabbed a beer and headed towards earth.
When Norris reached Earth he searched for the perfect vessel that would give birth to his human form, for he could not simply descend onto the Earth for the mear sight of his god like form would cause a mortal to explode in a shimmering ball of fire. So with his mind set on finding a vessel for his new body Chuck Norris began to scour the world for the perfect female.

the beginning of Chuck Norris. Let he who worships him sing praise up to the almighty Chuck Norris.

our bible is only just starting!!

This is creepy...