Originally posted by Ronny
So I was observing alot of the relationships that go on in KMC and other forums I have visted and noticed that alot of people who participate in an online relationship are already commited in real life to someone else. I really dont agree with this, and I do believe it is considered an act of cheating.Say your real life boy/girlfriend was on another forum and one day you stop in to see what he was so attracted to it for and you notice somewhere in he display set up (under his signature or location) it said "I love you Dirty(girl/boy)3". How would you react?
I do think that alot of internet relationships can work out an I have seen it happen before, so I can't really see what would make internet dating and real life dating different when it comes to morality.
What are your opinions?
I don't believe, personaly that internet relationships can be considered an act of cheating, unless of course such is taken to the next level of actual meeting and 'doing the deed'
As far as internet relationships go, it cannot be really called a relationship. People can meet and chat online, maybe meet in real life and then maybe have a relationhsip, again in real life, but not over the internet.
Relationships are complex - in real life you cannot just turn our partner off when you're pissed, then logg on when you feel like talking to them. In real life you need to deal with shit in order to make it work.
Besides, a lot of things are easier said when they are written then when they are told face to face...
Originally posted by lil bitchiness
Relationships are complex - in real life you cannot just turn our partner off when you're pissed, then logg on when you feel like talking to them. In real life you need to deal with shit in order to make it work.
I agree completely!
Online it is easy to hide from dissagreements or differences. You can show the person what you want them to see, and you ALWAYS have the option of just walking away.
In a real life relationship you cannot hide! It is tough at times but the rewards for having to deal w/ all the shit that real life piles on you are a million times better than any kind of reward online!!
A.D. and I had a wonderful "online" relationship, and although things are more complicated now I would never trade it back. 😄
Again this is not saying one person is "right" or "wrong" here, but that some parts might be left out...
Until the two people meet, there will always be something left out, noone's debating that I don't think...
Originally posted by lil bitchinessI believe they should... since real feelings are involved... from personal experience on both ends... physical infidelity is not as severe as the person you "love" loving someone else, or being infatuated with them.
I don't believe, personaly that internet relationships can be considered an act of cheating, unless of course such is taken to the next level of actual meeting and 'doing the deed'
Originally posted by lil bitchiness
As far as internet relationships go, it cannot be really called a relationship. People can meet and chat online, maybe meet in real life and then maybe have a relationhsip, again in real life, but not over the internet.
As long as love is blind then relationships are relationships IMO.
Originally posted by lil bitchinessBut wouldn't that only make things more difficult, again from personal experience on both ends, when a person vanishes, you cannot chase after them, or you have no clue what is going on until the last minute... most likely.
Relationships are complex - in real life you cannot just turn our partner off when you're pissed, then logg on when you feel like talking to them. In real life you need to deal with shit in order to make it work.
The simple element of touch is why most long distance relationships falter, and also it takes alot of trust, and love to invest in something when you haven't seen that person. To patch things up that are severly damaged is another task of its own. 😖
Not that living with people is easy either... thats another story of its own, but trying to negotiate or solve problems with words on a screen is much, much, more difficult, because there is less interaction and there's no prescence, nothing tangible. Which is a reason that infidelity skyrockets itself.
Long distance with a person who needs alot of attention and affection, i.e someone with a history of depression or something similar, is even more difficult, than being there for them in the flesh. Again, from personal experience.
There are two sides to each part, often the greatest strength is its own weakness.
Originally posted by lil bitchiness
Besides, a lot of things are easier said when they are written then when they are told face to face...
True, but they are also harder to solve written... than told face to face.
But all the things you've pointed out are what annoy me the most about distance, its not the lack of attention that bothers me, but the fact that the other person can turn you off when they want, or say things they would never say in your face. 😬
Originally posted by AuroraI know I dont post much in this thread but I have to say I agree completely as well.
I agree completely!Online it is easy to hide from dissagreements or differences. You can show the person what you want them to see, and you ALWAYS have the option of just walking away.
In a real life relationship you cannot hide! It is tough at times but the rewards for having to deal w/ all the shit that real life piles on you are a million times better than any kind of reward online!!
A.D. and I had a wonderful "online" relationship, and although things are more complicated now I would never trade it back. 😄
When it comes to relationships online, it's complicated. I was just talking to Darth Macabre about this a little while ago actually. I mean, what if your partner on the net died or something. For a lot of people, there's really no way to know what happened. Your relationship's over and you may never know why. So, I really don't see the point in getting into a relationship online unless there's a chance you could meet.
Originally posted by sailormoonYea thats another problem, which is why I'd suggest knowing close friends and family.
When it comes to relationships online, it's complicated. I was just talking to Darth Macabre about this a little while ago actually. I mean, what if your partner on the net died or something. For a lot of people, there's really no way to know what happened. Your relationship's over and you may never know why. So, I really don't see the point in getting into a relationship online unless there's a chance you could meet.
Originally posted by AuroraAgreed, considering what I went through myself. Boy oh boy...
When I first started talking to A.D. on here, I had no intention of EVER meeting him. You never know how you are going to meet someone, at a bar, at school, or even online.Thing will work out, if they are ment to be is my opinion. ✅
Originally posted by Tha C-Master
A relationship is just a relationship between to people... it doesn't specify what the distance is, only that those two people interract in some kind of way...
Sure, I don't deny this. But I had an impression we were talking about relationships in romantic sense, and those are not the same if you have never actually met the person.
It has little to do with sex, but a lot to do with lack of physical presence - you are only typing words to someone, you do not have experience of actually looking them in the eyes when you are saying something to them. Physical interaction is very important, no matter who you are talking to.
Originally posted by Tha C-Master
As long as love is blind then relationships are relationships IMO.
But wouldn't that only make things more difficult, again from personal experience on both ends, when a person vanishes, you cannot chase after them, or you have no clue what is going on until the last minute... most likely.
Normal relationships are actually easier to maintain, unless living together is involved...
Im sorry, but I find this absolutey absurd.
Saying something to someone, face to face is far harder, and far more complex than simply typing those words down, and never having to SEE the look on their face or the frustration.
As I also mentioned, when you get angry at someone, you cannot just logg off real life - you need to deal with the shit, face to face, right there, right then.
When you have a boyfriend/girlfriend over the net where you never met, there are a lot of things you never get to do - he/she will never see you mad, or pissed off. Whenever you mad or pissed off, you won't come online.
You don't need your online girlfriend's/boyfriend's permition to go anywhere. You just go.
You also spend ridicuous amounts of time, sat at the computer, waiting for them to come online - you cannot come to their place and watch a movie.
Its so much easier to say things which you don't neceseraly feel over the internet - you can appologize millions of times, you can swollow your pride in a second and say you're sorry and that you were wrong - that is simply NOT the case in real life.
Some people are happy with online interatictions, and thats fine, but to call them relationships equal to those in real life is far fetched and unrealistic, imo.
Originally posted by lil bitchiness
Saying something to someone, face to face is far harder, and far more complex than simply typing those words down, and never having to SEE the look on their face or the frustration.
As I also mentioned, when you get angry at someone, you cannot just logg off real life - you need to deal with the shit, face to face, right there, right then.
Originally posted by lil bitchinessWhich is why I said most would simply falter in the first place, noone is denying that physical involvement is not important one bit.
Sure, I don't deny this. But I had an impression we were talking about relationships in romantic sense, and those are not the same if you have never actually met the person.
It has little to do with sex, but a lot to do with lack of physical presence - you are only typing words to someone, you do not have experience of actually looking them in the eyes when you are saying something to them. Physical interaction is very important, no matter who you are talking to.
Touch is the strongest sense for a reason. ✅
Originally posted by lil bitchinessProbably because you misinterpreted what I was reading. I was simply saying there are strenghts and weaknesses to both, and that both are a relationship.
Im sorry, but I find this absolutey absurd.
Originally posted by lil bitchinessOf course it takes less balls to type words online, who would deny that? 😆
Saying something to someone, face to face is far harder, and far more complex than simply typing those words down, and never having to SEE the look on their face or the frustration.
As I also mentioned, when you get angry at someone, you cannot just logg off real life - you need to deal with the shit, face to face, right there, right then.
My point was that the impact of the words in real life, are much greater than those online, which is an advantage and disadvantage... Obviously me apologizing even on the phone or to that person, or ENTERTAINING that person would be easier if I was in their face, then trying to soothe them online... I've dealt with severe situations online before, so while it MAY (depending on the person), be an easier option to say things online, they also have less effect.
You agree? Sure, as its basically your premise below.
Originally posted by lil bitchinessNoone's denying this... I agree.
When you have a boyfriend/girlfriend over the net where you never met, there are a lot of things you never get to do -
Originally posted by lil bitchinessNonsense, I've (as I'm sure others have as well)dealt with mad, angry, severe depression, and even... suicidal from a distance... from my experience its simply easier to deal with these face to face (say episodes of depression), and sometimes it IS easier to log off (in moments of great anger), so I give you that...
he/she will never see you mad, or pissed off. Whenever you mad or pissed off, you won't come online.
Originally posted by lil bitchiness
You don't need your online girlfriend's/boyfriend's permition to go anywhere. You just go.
Originally posted by lil bitchinessThats just a problem with organization... but I don't really see what this alludes to as its common knowledge, so I won't attempt to delve into it...
You also spend ridicuous amounts of time, sat at the computer, waiting for them to come online - you cannot come to their place and watch a movie.
Originally posted by lil bitchiness
Its so much easier to say things which you don't neceseraly feel over the internet - you can appologize millions of times, you can swollow your pride in a second and say you're sorry and that you were wrong - that is simply NOT the case in real life.
Again I agree, but since we subconsciously know this, the impact of this is also less as well... it is more difficult to "feel" emotion, to "stimulate" or motivate someone online, so once again the greatest strength is also its greatest flaw.
Originally posted by lil bitchinessI would never do one for its own sake, but I am speaking from experience.
Some people are happy with online interatictions, and thats fine, but to call them relationships equal to those in real life is far fetched and unrealistic, imo.
And my point was not to compare which is greater or less in terms of quality because that is an obvious point, but to say it isn't a relationship at all when it requires a great mental connection to keep one alive is unfair as well.
Originally posted by lil bitchiness
Saying something to someone, face to face is far harder, and far more complex than simply typing those words down, and never having to SEE the look on their face or the frustration.
As I also mentioned, when you get angry at someone, you cannot just logg off real life - you need to deal with the shit, face to face, right there, right then.
From my personal experience I would disagree with this. I find it FAR harder to type what I'm feeling/thinking about than to actually say it face to face. I also think it's harder to work out issues online because you can't actually tell 100% what the other person is thinking/reacting (though if you know each other well enough you can usually figure it out well enough), and when it comes to some things...it's very hard to work it out online, while it's far easier to do so in person.
If you have an issue with someone, simply logging off is the cheap way out. And you CAN do the equivalent of that in real life -- hanging up the phone, walking away, etc. Which is just as cheap of a way out of an argument. If it's something important, you work through it -- period.
So, I both agree and disagree with you. However, I'd say my situation is a bit different than most.
I however do find it silly that people say they're boyfriend/girlfriend when they're just talking online and have no real intention of ever meeting. But on the other hand, the feelings can be just as real as a real-life relationship.
Originally posted by LanaI kinda agree in some ways, its easier in some ways when the person is there, but I don't think anyone would deny that it takes a strong mental/emotional bond to keep a serious long distance relationship afloat.
From my personal experience I would disagree with this. I find it FAR harder to type what I'm feeling/thinking about than to actually say it face to face. I also think it's harder to work out issues online because you can't actually tell 100% what the other person is thinking/reacting (though if you know each other well enough you can usually figure it out well enough), and when it comes to some things...it's very hard to work it out online, while it's far easier to do so in person.If you have an issue with someone, simply logging off is the cheap way out. And you CAN do the equivalent of that in real life -- hanging up the phone, walking away, etc. Which is just as cheap of a way out of an argument. If it's something important, you work through it -- period.
So, I both agree and disagree with you. However, I'd say my situation is a bit different than most.
I however do find it silly that people say they're boyfriend/girlfriend when they're just talking online and have no real intention of ever meeting. But on the other hand, the feelings can be just as real as a real-life relationship.