Darth Jello
Cheese Spelunker
Chapter 1 – Once Again, Brave Warrior, Forth Into the Breach
It was a dark and stormy galaxy. Some called it the Milky Way but for others the way was as clear as sterling crystali-crytstals. Prophets called these with truest vision ‘heroes’, and that they most certainly were, but not heroes in the traditional sense, that of being a normal, healthy, God-fearing and authority-respecting galactic American; but in the real sense, that of being an actual hero, one that does heroic things, even with reckless disregard for his own safety, if not especially so.
The world welcomed me as it always had, this world I call my own, this earthy New Terra. Not quite like it had ever done before or as was soonly about to, but the sun glinting off the atmosphere’s ionized cesium at high noon made for a glorious sight and one I'd never hesitate to fully embrace with every last interquark of my personabeing.
I deactivated my solivisor as I stepped through the autoslide doors of the Planetary Government and Social Protection Programs cumulonimboscraper's majestic lobby. It was a humble, modestly spectacular place, with the newly installed transparent fluxiglass lenses giving me a clear view of the foyer’s central feature — a hologram of the New Geneva cityscape that couldn't help but call attention. It was the sort of sight that could bring tears to your eyes, and even more now that the municipal cookie-scent program was replaced with the rich stench of eye-watering onion.