The Battle Bar, Our Wretched Hive of Scum and Villainy

Started by Beniboybling3,287 pages

Originally posted by cs_zoltan
I approve of killing babies.
As long as their Syn's. 👆

Originally posted by MythLord
👆 ✅

He's the only one standing between us and the Togruta-wank army conquering KMC, Beni. 🙂

👆 @the last five posts.

Originally posted by cs_zoltan
I approve of killing babies.
Ditto.

Alright, time for the ultimate roast of a certain Kobe Bean Bryant. Let's begin. 🙂

2002:

Kobe- the scan had the audacity to assert that Kobe deserved the MVP in the 2002-2003 season. In this season, Kobe averaged a very impressive 30 points, 7 rebounds, 2 steals, and 6 assists on 45% shooting. The actual MVP winner, Tim Duncan, averaged 23 points, 13 rebounds, 4 assists, and 3 blocks on 51% shooting. Their per game statistics may seem close, but a look at the advanced statistics shows that Duncan's season blew Kobe's out of the water.

Kobe:

26.2 PER
14.9 Win Shares
.210 Win Shares/48
5.7 Box Plus/Minus

Duncan:

26.9 PER
16.5 Win Shares
.248 Win Shares/48
7.4 Box Plus/Minus

as the above shows, Duncan without a doubt had a better season than Kobe, who was outperformed by his own teammate, Shaq, (who averaged 27.5 points, 11 rebounds, and 2.4 blocks on 57% shooting). It's no wonder Duncan's Spurs finished with a 60-22 record, while Shaq's Lakers finished with a good-but-not-great 50-32 record. Even Kevin Garnett statistically outperformed Bryant this season.

2004

Kobe, once again, did not deserve the MVP in the 2004-2005 season. In this season, Kobe averaged roughly 28 points, 6 rebounds, and 6 assists on a pretty disgusting 43% shooting. While I believe he had a better season than the actual winner, Steve Nash, there are still various other players who would have deserved the MVP more than Kobe, including:

Kevin Garnett-

22 points, 14 rebounds, and 6 assists per game on 50% shooting
28.2 PER
16.1 Win Shares
.248 Win Shares/48
9.7 Box Plus/Minus

Tim Duncan-

20 points, 11 rebounds, 3 blocks on 50% shooting
27.0 PER
11.2 Win Shares
.245 Win Shares/48
6.4 Box Plus/Minus

Shaquille O'Neal:

23 points, 10 rebounds, 2 blocks on an incredible 60% shooting
27.0 PER
11.0 Win Shares
.211 Win Shares/48
5.6 Box Plus/Minus

Kobe Bryant:

23.3 PER
8.1 Win Shares (rofl)
.145 Win Shares/48 (rofl)
4.6 Box Plus/Minus

Timberwolves Record: 44-38
Miami Heat Record: 59-23
Spurs Record: 59-23
Lakers Record: 34-48

Kobe, while yes had a worse team, didn't even perform statistically better than any of the aforementioned, (I didn't even bring up Dirk or Lebron, who also had better statistical and team success). On to the next one...

2005

This is the closest Kobe ever got to being the legit best player in the league, imo...and there was still competition for him. Kobe this season averaged around 35 points, 5 rebounds, and 5 assists on 45% shooting. incredible scoring numbers, to be sure. Let's see how Kobe stacks up to the people who I think had just as much if not more merit: Dirk Nowitzki and Lebron James.

Dirk Nowitzki:

27 points, 9 rebounds, and 3 assists on 48% shooting (40% from 3 and 90% from the line)
28.1 PER
17.7 Win Shares (!)
.275 Win Shares/48(!)
5.7 Box Plus/Minus

Lebron James:

31 points, 7 rebounds, 7 assists, and 2 steals on 48% shooting.
28.1 PER
16.3 Win Shares
.232 Win Shares/48
9.3 Box Plus/Minus

Kobe Bryant:

28.0 PER
15.3 Win Shares
.224 Win Shares/48
5.8 Box Plus/Minus

Lakers Record: 45-37
Cavs Record: 50-32
Mavs Record: 60-22

Honestly...Dirk really got robbed of an MVP this year. His team won more games and he performed much better statistically than Steve Nash. This was real BS.

2006

Kobe in the 2006-2007 season averaged around 32 points, 6 rebounds, and 5 assists on 46% shooting. While these numbers are surely impressive, and there weren't many elite MVP caliber seasons this year, (Duncan and Shaq getting too old, Lebron had a down year, etc,)...Dirk Nowitzki simply had one of the most efficient and dominant MVP seasons in NBA history. That the scan seriously suggests Kobe should have won MVP this season is absurd:

Dirk-

25 points, 9 rebounds, and 3 assists on a 50-40-90 shooting slash. Only nine times in NBA history has a player shot a 50-40-90 slash.
27.6 PER
16.3 Win Shares
.278 Win Shares/48(!!)
6.7 Box Plus/Minus

Kobe-

26.1 PER
13.0 Win Shares
.199 Win Shares/48
4.7 Box Plus/Minus

Mavs Record: 67-15 (!!!)
Lakers Record: 42-40

Dirk simply had an absolutely incredible regular season, an amazing blend of both scoring in volume and with the utmost efficiency.

TL;DR: Kobe does not deserve an MVP. Period. Even the season he won it, Chris Paul was FAR more worthy than Bryant:

Paul:

21 points, 12 assists, 3 steals on 49% shooting
28.3 PER
17.8 Win Shares (!)
.284 Win Shares/48 (!!)
9.2 Box Plus/Minus

Kobe Bryant:

28 points, 6 rebounds, 5 assists, and 2 steals on 46% shooting
24.2 PER
13.8 Win Shares
.208 Win Shares/48
5.4 Box Plus/Minus

Hornets Record: 56-26
Lakers Record: 57-25

The Lakers, with a much better team, only won 1 extra game than the Hornets, due to the absolutely absurd season Chris Paul had. It's ridiculous that Kobe won an MVP this year.

Originally posted by Beniboybling
Bucketball. 🙂

I like how you say Kobe doesn't deserve MVP yet you have him in your top10 🙂

Yeah. Because Kobe was consistently a top 5-7 candidate for like 13-15 years. He was just never #1.

Most of the above is why I put Kobe at the bottom of the top 10, and Lebron as #3. Like, Lebron's 8th or 9th best season is probably better than Kobe's best.

Originally posted by Lucius
It is a source of continuous amazement to me how much better a place the world would be if libertarians, supply siders, climate change deniers, and special snowflake SJWs just upped and died. There are so many people who need to be purged, although honestly I'd settle for the mass extermination of Republicans. The rest can come later.

I'm not any of those things but can I go first? I want the freedom of death tbh.

Anyhow I said Kobe could've won more MVP if he has a better team in his prime. Obviously his shooting % was shit when he was the only player who needed to be defended.

Lel, except that even in years in which his teams were good he never shot above 47% once, nor were his statistics good enough that winning him more games in any of those years would warrant him the MVP. 🙂

>Nfactor trusting Syndicate despite him being Syndicate

😖kully

Xtasy. Can you sig this for me?

"Me: You can't interact with normal people.

DMB: I can interact with my mom." - Gchat, 2016.

Thx.

Tonight's turning out to be a goldmine.

"I love Bane and Kas'im's relationship." - DMB, 2016.

?

?

What's with the random DMB quotes lol

Originally posted by UCanShootMyNova
Xtasy. Can you sig this for me?

"Me: You can't interact with normal people.

DMB: I can interact with my mom." - Gchat, 2016.

Thx.

Sure. I guess.

It's done.

You know where to find me if things go South Syn. Just a reminder.