TheFilmProphet
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Finally...I thought I was the only one, his reviews are becoming irrational and senseless. Roeper's walking along the same line as well.
I believe this individual wrapped it for me rather nicely:
Ebert and Roeper Shouldn't be Allowed to Rate Comic Book Movies Anymore
I'm used to Roeper showcasing his complete lack of knowledge and smarmy ignorance. Why, I recall him scoffing at the Fast and the Furious because they had those wacky nitrous oxide buttons on their cars, as if said technology doesn't exist. I remember him saying this on the Tonight Show, where Jay Leno informed him he owned three cars that possess that very feature.
However, I am NOT used to Ebert matching Roeper comment for comment in a stupefying Idiot Battle. Every dumbass comment that Roper made, Ebert would beat it with one of his own. I think maybe the diet he's on has sucked vital matter from his brain. Let's take a look at some of the reasons they disliked the Fantastic 4 movie.
"The Thing is too similar to the Hulk."
Well, both are big and strong and misunderstood, I'll grant that. But the Thing retains his intelligence and is a lovable, blue-collar type of hero, where the Hulk gets angry and smashes things until he gets sad or tired, presumably because whenever he looks down he realizes that Bruce Banner has been dressing him in purple pants. Their powers are similar but their characters are very different. Making this comparison is about as fair as saying Wonder Woman is too much like Superman.
"The Human Torch is like the Flash."
...Uh...what?? The Human Torch lights on fire, flies, and burns things. The Flash runs really, really fast. I'm not an accredited movie critic - I'm just a simple caveman -- but I fail to see the connection in any way on this one.
"The Thing is not to be confused with Swamp Thing; he's kind of like a dry, weathered Swamp Thing."
First, how the hell do you even know who Swamp Thing is, fatboy? Second, the Swamp Thing is a talking plant. You would be more likely to confuse Swamp Thing with Treebeard, for God's sake. Just because the word "thing" is in their names doesn't make them blood brothers.
"The Invisible Woman is sort of like Storm from the X-Men."
Oh sweet ****ing ****. Are you autistic?? Just because the Invisible Woman's given name is Susan Storm does NOT negate the fact that she is a white woman who can make invisible force fields and Storm is a claustrophobic black woman who controls the weather. Invisible kracka = claustrophobe darky? No. Does not compute.
"Mr. Fantastic is kind of like The Incredibles."
I'm sure what you meant to say, Roger I-get-paid-to-spout-nonsensical-tripe-on-tha-teevee Ebert, is that Mr. Fantastic is similar to Elastigirl from The Incredibles. Okay, that's very true in terms of their powers. But let's not forget that the Fantastic 4 was created in 1961, and that The Incredibles are either an homage or a ripoff of the FF comic book, depending on how you look at it.
Roeper: "Dr. Doom is kind of like the second cousin of the Silver Surfer."
What the f*ck is wrong with you?? DUURRRRR!!
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