Choosing a Spouse
What should the qualifications for a spouse be. I want to hear from both men and women. The following conditions apply:
1. Parenting (the couple will have natural children from both of them)
2. They will live to old age (lets say 90)
3. Age of marriage does not matter (as long as its before 90)
Re: Choosing a Spouse
Originally posted by Nellinator
What should the qualifications for a spouse be. I want to hear from both men and women. The following conditions apply:
1. Parenting (the couple will have natural children from both of them)
2. They will live to old age (lets say 90)
3. Age of marriage does not matter (as long as its before 90)
My conditions for a spouse:
1) Doesn't matter if we have children or not.
2) I hope we live long, but I find out you're gonna die at age 30, because you have cancer, then we're getting divored.
3) I would never marry an old fart....
4) You're gender don't matter. As long as you're hott and loving. 🙂
Re: Choosing a Spouse
Originally posted by NellinatorI think Religious beliefs are very important to many......If you don't agree then you are looking for trouble. If one changes their beliefs then it usually disastrous.........
What should the qualifications for a spouse be. I want to hear from both men and women. The following conditions apply:
1. Parenting (the couple will have natural children from both of them)
2. They will live to old age (lets say 90)
3. Age of marriage does not matter (as long as its before 90)
An open mind is a good thing... 😎
Re: Re: Choosing a Spouse
Originally posted by Lord Urizen
My conditions for a spouse:1) Doesn't matter if we have children or not.
2) I hope we live long, but I find out you're gonna die at age 30, because you have cancer, then we're getting divored.
3) I would never marry an old fart....
4) You're gender don't matter. As long as you're hott and loving. 🙂
2) That shows a horrible under appreciation of human life which is the most precious thing in this world.
3) When you are old I pray that you are not alone and suffering from loneliness, depression, and bitterness because statements like that seem to indicate a horrible old age for you.
4) You placing so much value on looks is very sad. I have a feeling that you will be very lonely latter in life (perhaps middle age) when being promiscuous and hanging around bars to pick up dates isn't cool or easy anymore.
Re: Re: Re: Choosing a Spouse
Originally posted by Nellinator
This is one of the saddest things I have ever read.
1) Maybe not, I was just wondering what qualities people thought would be important if they were going to have children (disciplinary, good with kids, gentle, firm, strict, etc...)2) That shows a horrible under appreciation of human life which is the most precious thing in this world.
3) When you are old I pray that you are not alone and suffering from loneliness, depression, and bitterness because statements like that seem to indicate a horrible old age for you.
4) You placing so much value on looks is very sad. I have a feeling that you will be very lonely latter in life (perhaps middle age) when being promiscuous and hanging around bars to pick up dates isn't cool or easy anymore.
Honey, he's young....
Most of us are in their late teens, early twenties.
Judging by your tone, you're quite a bit older. Which is fine if you're looking for a spouse.
Thing is we don't look for: "Is she gonna be a good housewive? Will she listen and obey me and take care of our twenty odd children"
No. We look for love. We marry for love. Not because he or she is going to live to ripe age of 90....
THAT's sad. You're judging your future wife/husband not out of their personal qualities or even if you love them, but as long as they're good with kids, they gonna live for a century and they're good at spanking your kids.
If you're our age and you thinking about marriage, that's just VERY sad....
Re: Re: Re: Re: Choosing a Spouse
Originally posted by Draco69
Honey, he's young....Most of us are in their late teens, early twenties.
Judging by your tone, you're quite a bit older. Which is fine if you're looking for a spouse.
Thing is we don't look for: "Is she gonna be a good housewive? Will she listen and obey me and take care of our twenty odd children"
No. We look for love. We marry for love. Not because he or she is going to live to ripe age of 90....
THAT's sad. You're judging your future wife/husband not out of their personal qualities or even if you love them, but as long as they're good with kids, they gonna live for a century and they're good at spanking your kids.
If you're our age and you thinking about marriage, that's just VERY sad....
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Choosing a Spouse
Originally posted by Nellinator
I think love is the most important thing in marriage. But I believe that love is a choice not a feeling and I feel that more than love is required to make a marriage work because I know the divorce rate in North America. I do want to have kids and I don't think you could blame we for not wanting to have kids with someone who would be an unfit mother. BTW 90 was theoretical and was intended to create a relationship where more than physical attraction was required. Unlike Urizen I would remain married to a women even if she had cancer. "Til death do us part."
BTW I am younger than you probably think.
You're even younger than 19? And you're thinking of a spouse already?
Jeeeeez.
Love is not a choice. Love is an irrational, consuming and powerful emotion that you feel whether you want to or not. You clearly haven't felt love or you don't understand it. Much less read or seen a film or book about romance. If you could choose to love, than we wouldn't have a million love songs about heartbreak (if you could choose to love, heartbreak wouldn't exist...) falling in love or unrequieted love. Much less Shakespeare or poetry.
The first thing on your mind is children in regardance to marriage. Which is fine. But shallow. Guess what? The highest rate of divorce are not in the "godless" North Eastern states or the urban cities. Nope. It's smack dab in rural, conservative Baptist with the same mindset on marriage and love as you. They think children first...and their marriage falls apart because they discover that while their spouse is a good parent...they can't stand them as a person and don't really love them.
If you want to judge a spouse on child-bearing as the premier attribute, you have a likely chance of divorcing that person.
Marriage isn't built on children. Hell no, actually children are shown to be detrimental to a marriage causing many people to divorce in America statistically.
Marriage is built on love, passion, companionship and respect for one another. And through these traits a child may or may not be born.
Re: Choosing a Spouse
Originally posted by Nellinator
What should the qualifications for a spouse be. I want to hear from both men and women. The following conditions apply:
1. Parenting (the couple will have natural children from both of them)
2. They will live to old age (lets say 90)
3. Age of marriage does not matter (as long as its before 90)
Hmmm. Interesting question.
For me:
1. If we should one day have kids naturally I hope they will be good parents. However, I don't think children need be equated with a sucessful and loving relationship.
2. Adventurous and intelligent - that is a match for me mentally and in terms of living life.
3. Hopefully if/when I find someone I wish to spend the rest of my life with we will both have many years to enjoy together.
4. An interesting lover - Well, the physical expression of love, so I might as well add that to the list.
5. Ambitious and motivated
6. Loyal - If I love, and have dedicated my all to a person, I expect the same in return.
7. Reasonably open minded/liberal - this is personality really, just don't see a hard line conservative being my spouse.
8. Their faith isn't important to me. I wont expect them to do any converting, and I would hope they wouldn't be forcing religion down my throat.
Re: Re: Choosing a Spouse
Originally posted by Imperial_Samura
Hmmm. Interesting question.For me:
1. If we should one day have kids naturally I hope they will be good parents. However, I don't think children need be equated with a sucessful and loving relationship.
2. Adventurous and intelligent - that is a match for me mentally and in terms of living life.
3. Hopefully if/when I find someone I wish to spend the rest of my life with we will both have many years to enjoy together.
4. An interesting lover - Well, the physical expression of love, so I might as well add that to the list.
5. Ambitious and motivated
6. Loyal - If I love, and have dedicated my all to a person, I expect the same in return.
7. Reasonably open minded/liberal - this is personality really, just don't see a hard line conservative being my spouse.
8. Their faith isn't important to me. I wont expect them to do any converting, and I would hope they wouldn't be forcing religion down my throat.
I agree with all of these. But I've notice it's the details that really make you love a person. Like the way he/she crosses his legs, or walks or eats or talks.
Re: Re: Re: Choosing a Spouse
Originally posted by Draco69
I agree with all of these. But I've notice it's the details that really make you love a person. Like the way he/she crosses his legs, or walks or eats or talks.
Oh very true, at least initially. I am very... well, somehwta unholistic in my approach to many things, including people. The details, the parts of the sum as it were, seeing how it all fits together to make something special. The colour of the flesh, the stray strand of hair that drifts across her brow, the color of her eyes and the way her hands move, the art evident in her form when she stretches or dances. Yes, detail often gets me to begin with, rather then some net statement like "oh yeah, she's hot" - of course beyond that the detail is built upon, fleshed out by the personality.
Re: Choosing a Spouse
Originally posted by Nellinator
1. Parenting (the couple will have natural children from both of them)
I'm in my second marriage and have children from my first, and that doesn't seem to have any negative affect on my current marriage.
Originally posted by Imperial_Samura
Hmmm. Interesting question.For me:
1. If we should one day have kids naturally I hope they will be good parents. However, I don't think children need be equated with a sucessful and loving relationship.
2. Adventurous and intelligent - that is a match for me mentally and in terms of living life.
3. Hopefully if/when I find someone I wish to spend the rest of my life with we will both have many years to enjoy together.
4. An interesting lover - Well, the physical expression of love, so I might as well add that to the list.
5. Ambitious and motivated
6. Loyal - If I love, and have dedicated my all to a person, I expect the same in return.
7. Reasonably open minded/liberal - this is personality really, just don't see a hard line conservative being my spouse.
8. Their faith isn't important to me. I wont expect them to do any converting, and I would hope they wouldn't be forcing religion down my throat.
9. Get a pre-nup.
Re: Re: Re: Choosing a Spouse
Originally posted by Nellinator
This is one of the saddest things I have ever read.
1) Maybe not, I was just wondering what qualities people thought would be important if they were going to have children (disciplinary, good with kids, gentle, firm, strict, etc...)2) That shows a horrible under appreciation of human life which is the most precious thing in this world.
3) When you are old I pray that you are not alone and suffering from loneliness, depression, and bitterness because statements like that seem to indicate a horrible old age for you.
4) You placing so much value on looks is very sad. I have a feeling that you will be very lonely latter in life (perhaps middle age) when being promiscuous and hanging around bars to pick up dates isn't cool or easy anymore.
1) What if I don't want children?
2) This was sarcasm.....your second qualification implied that Age actually means anything....
3) I'm 20 years old...I refuse to marry someone who is 70. Is that a problem for you?
4) I said "As long as your hott and loving"...your answer is so typically Christian..... 🙄