Re: Re: Re: Choosing a Spouse
Originally posted by Adam_PoE
Despicable.
Originally posted by Feceman
The post or the poster ?
Originally posted by Adam_PoE
Can't we settle for both ?
You guys take this way to seriously.... 😆
It's just an internet forum guys...take a deep breath and relax.....Actually I'm pretty flattered. You guys talk about me so much I feel Special now ! ✅
Aww....I didn't know you guys cared. cry
Re: Re: Re: Re: Choosing a Spouse
Originally posted by Lord Urizen
You guys take this way to seriously.... 😆It's just an internet forum guys...take a deep breath and relax.....Actually I'm pretty flattered. You guys talk about me so much I feel Special now ! ✅
Aww....I didn't know you guys cared. cry
I'd say something insulting, but then you would just laugh it off.
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Choosing a Spouse
Originally posted by Draco69
Love is not a choice. Love is an irrational, consuming and powerful emotion that you feel whether you want to or not. You clearly haven't felt love or you don't understand it. Much less read or seen a film or book about romance. If you could choose to love, than we wouldn't have a million love songs about heartbreak (if you could choose to love, heartbreak wouldn't exist...) falling in love or unrequieted love. Much less Shakespeare or poetry.The first thing on your mind is children in regardance to marriage. Which is fine. But shallow. Guess what? The highest rate of divorce are not in the "godless" North Eastern states or the urban cities. Nope. It's smack dab in rural, conservative Baptist with the same mindset on marriage and love as you. They think children first...and their marriage falls apart because they discover that while their spouse is a good parent...they can't stand them as a person and don't really love them.
If you want to judge a spouse on child-bearing as the premier attribute, you have a likely chance of divorcing that person.
Marriage isn't built on children. Hell no, actually children are shown to be detrimental to a marriage causing many people to divorce in America statistically.
Marriage is built on love, passion, companionship and respect for one another. And through these traits a child may or may not be born.
Second, I see that I may have given the wrong impression, but I don't believe that child bearing is the most important thing in marriage. If children are a detriment it shows an immature relationship and a lack of committment to the relationship. I am steadfastly against divorce for reasons other marital infidelity. You will see a much lower rate of divorce in arranged marriages and it has been shown that this has nothing to do with cultural pressures, but rather with the committment involved. It is one of the true tragedies of the Christian faith that divorce rates are so high. However, the Christians I know that based their marriage upon Biblical principles and truly committed their marriage to God have never been divorced.
Yeh know...
It's interesting: whob was hated by the entire forum, and now Lord Urizen has taken his place.
So, basically, Lord Urizen is the ultimate whob sock because we didn't even suspect it...those other socks were made to throw us off guard even as whob nestled into KMC under the alias of "Lord Urizen".
Originally posted by FeceMan
Yeh know...It's interesting: whob was hated by the entire forum, and now Lord Urizen has taken his place.
So, basically, Lord Urizen is the ultimate whob sock because we didn't even suspect it...those other socks were made to throw us off guard even as whob nestled into KMC under the alias of "Lord Urizen".
I don't know if I'd go so far as to compare LU to Whob. Though if it did turn out socking was involved it would be another case of the sock being vastly more likable then Whob (granted, some would say Hitler is more likable then Whob, but that might be going a bit to far.)
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Choosing a Spouse
Originally posted by Nellinator
First of all, you clearly described infatutation,
God, you haven't even experienced any type of love have you? THINK.
Infatuation is "Wow, she's really cute and smart and I wonder who I can make her like me!"
Originally posted by Nellinator
not love.
Love is: " I would die for you. I would give up everything I own just to be you. How can I make you happy everyday?"
That's love.
Originally posted by Nellinator
Infatutation can either or both physical and emotional,
Infatuation is both. Love transcends the physical and the emotional....
Originally posted by Nellinator
but love requires a deeper committment and a CHOICE to make the relationship work.
You have a warped perception of love. Love is not equivalent to partnership or plain ol' fashion teamwork.
I CHOOSE to make my relationship with my roommate work. I respect him and I compromise with him. But I certainly don't LOVE him. I don't even LIKE him.
Originally posted by Nellinator
Second, I see that I may have given the wrong impression, but I don't believe that child bearing is the most important thing in marriage.
And yet that's the very first thing you look for in a mate according to your list....
Let's completely disregard his/her personality. As long as he's/she's a good parent after all!
Originally posted by Nellinator
If children are a detriment it shows an immature relationship and a lack of committment to the relationship.
Waitaminute. If you don't have children or prefer to not have children, you're too immature to have a relationship?
It shows lack of commitment? Please!
Originally posted by Nellinator
I am steadfastly against divorce for reasons other marital infidelity.
If people want to divorce, they can divorce. Sometimes people grow apart. It's human.
I know you have this hocus-pocus, fairy-tale (and slightly communist) view of love and marriage, but sometimes it doesn't work out they way you think. People change. Lives change.
Divorce is necessary in many cases if a man starts hitting his wife.
But you wouldn't mind. After all women are just ovens and milk for the kids.
Originally posted by Nellinator
You will see a much lower rate of divorce in arranged marriages and it has been shown that this has nothing to do with cultural pressures, but rather with the committment involved.
Oh please! Have you ever even studied arranged marriages. Your parents choose the richest, most affluential family they can get for the full intentions of three things:
1) MONEY. It's all about the dowry. If you've ever actually studied this, you would have known that women are shipped off like cattle to rich, old men so the family can collect the dowry. But that's LOVE to you right?
2) BREEDING. Like purebred dogs, familys breed their sons and daughters to create "pure" children. After all, if child isn't pure it's useless and the marriage doesn't exist. But that's LOVE to you right?
3) CULTURE. Arranged marriages were solely created not of love and commitment but for purely economical reasons. Wives were seen as symbols of wealth. A beautiful, fertile woman is worth more than an ugly, infertile woman. It allowed trade options and financial advancement for many families. It's the equivalent of co-partnership between two Wall Street firms. But that's LOVE to you right.
You don't care about love. You care about shallow things like children (have as many as you can; its a Christian symbol of "wealth"😉 ripe age and the ability to commit as if they were in a contract.
Sorry, but that's effed up. Divorce rates are low in arranged marriages? Of course, they are. They're literally in business contract. They don't WANT to marry a stranger who's probably twice their age. But they have to. Society pressures them.
Oh, by the way since you're advocate of arranged marriages, many Muslim women are stoned to death if they don't abide by their marriage or ask for divorce....
But that's love to you right?
Originally posted by Nellinator
It is one of the true tragedies of the Christian faith that divorce rates are so high. However, the Christians I know that based their marriage upon Biblical principles and truly committed their marriage to God have never been divorced.
Trying to work out marriage is good thing. But don't be so naive to presume that divorce is a bad thing through and through. It has to happen sometimes. Sometimes things need to seperate for the betterment of the family. Divorce isn't evil like you presume. Families don't instantly become coke whores like you would believe.
It's human. It's natural. Relationships break apart. It's sad when it does but sometimes its necessary. It's like keeping two positive sides of a magnet together. It won't work.
I've seen far too many families that are destroyed because a wife and husband view that having a marriage is better for the family. As if screamfests and thrown dinner plates are perfectly alright...
Originally posted by Alliance
It always tickles me that women get so offended and go into denial when you see right trought them.
Am I offended? I hadn't noticed 😕
Originally posted by WrathfulDwarf
1. Knows how to Cook.2. Cleans the House.
3. Well educated and professional.
4. Must love children
5. Loves me for what I'am.
That's a nice list ✅
Originally posted by BackFire
Someone who knows when to shut up and someone who will **** me regularly?
Ouch, baby cry
Originally posted by FeceMan
Yeh know...It's interesting: whob was hated by the entire forum, and now Lord Urizen has taken his place.
So, basically, Lord Urizen is the ultimate whob sock because we didn't even suspect it...those other socks were made to throw us off guard even as whob nestled into KMC under the alias of "Lord Urizen".
yawn
You need something to do.....
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Choosing a Spouse
Originally posted by Draco69
Infatuation is "Wow, she's really cute and smart and I wonder who I can make her like me!"Love is: " I would die for you. I would give up everything I own just to be you. How can I make you happy everyday?"
That's love.
Infatuation is both. Love transcends the physical and the emotional....You have a warped perception of love. Love is not equivalent to partnership or plain ol' fashion teamwork.
I CHOOSE to make my relationship with my roommate work. I respect him and I compromise with him. But I certainly don't LOVE him. I don't even LIKE him.
And yet that's the very first thing you look for in a mate according to your list....
Let's completely disregard his/her personality. As long as he's/she's a good parent after all!
Waitaminute. If you don't have children or prefer to not have children, you're too immature to have a relationship?
It shows lack of commitment? Please!
If people want to divorce, they can divorce. Sometimes people grow apart. It's human.
I know you have this hocus-pocus, fairy-tale (and slightly communist) view of love and marriage, but sometimes it doesn't work out they way you think. People change. Lives change.
Divorce is necessary in many cases if a man starts hitting his wife.
But you wouldn't mind. After all women are just ovens and milk for the kids.
Oh please! Have you ever even studied arranged marriages. Your parents choose the richest, most affluential family they can get for the full intentions of three things:
1) MONEY. It's all about the dowry. If you've ever actually studied this, you would have known that women are shipped off like cattle to rich, old men so the family can collect the dowry. But that's LOVE to you right?
2) BREEDING. Like purebred dogs, familys breed their sons and daughters to create "pure" children. After all, if child isn't pure it's useless and the marriage doesn't exist. But that's LOVE to you right?
3) CULTURE. Arranged marriages were solely created not of love and commitment but for purely economical reasons. Wives were seen as symbols of wealth. A beautiful, fertile woman is worth more than an ugly, infertile woman. It allowed trade options and financial advancement for many families. It's the equivalent of co-partnership between two Wall Street firms. But that's LOVE to you right.
You don't care about love. You care about shallow things like children (have as many as you can; its a Christian symbol of "wealth"😉 ripe age and the ability to commit as if they were in a contract.
Sorry, but that's effed up. Divorce rates are low in arranged marriages? Of course, they are. They're literally in business contract. They don't WANT to marry a stranger who's probably twice their age. But they have to. Society pressures them.
Oh, by the way since you're advocate of arranged marriages, many Muslim women are stoned to death if they don't abide by their marriage or ask for divorce....
But that's love to you right?
Trying to work out marriage is good thing. But don't be so naive to presume that divorce is a bad thing through and through. It has to happen sometimes. Sometimes things need to seperate for the betterment of the family. Divorce isn't evil like you presume. Families don't instantly become coke whores like you would believe.
It's human. It's natural. Relationships break apart. It's sad when it does but sometimes its necessary. It's like keeping two positive sides of a magnet together. It won't work.
I've seen far too many families that are destroyed because a wife and husband view that having a marriage is better for the family. As if screamfests and thrown dinner plates are perfectly alright...
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Choosing a Spouse
Originally posted by Nellinator
All I am going to say is that you misunderstand me. Children are not the first thing I look for in a women, nor do I want a lot of children. I would never have children with a women I did not love and wasn't committed to for a lifetime. I am not sexist and respect women. I think you see love much different than I do. I agree that love transcends the physical and emotional perceptions and is very spiritual. I know the love of many friends, girlfriends, family, and that of Jesus Christ. You say that people can grow apart, but I disagree that they will if they are truly in love. If you commit and choose to love, a marriage can last a lifetime in perfect happiness. And yes I have studied arranged marriages. They work better and have higher satisfaction rates than chosen marriages. However, I do not support arranged marriages. Please do not assume to know my intentions or thoughts on love because you do not and have proven to me that you have no idea.
You can't choose to love anybody. You either do or you don't. You can't make someone love you. They either do or they don't.
What fairy tale do you live in ?