I met a girl

Originally posted by clap
I didn't send her a message. I've got to send them a message and they have to respond for me to get their e-mail.

You should try it though. Plenty of available (and eager) women on these dating sites.

🤨

Originally posted by clap
Me and my friend Michael McDonald came up with a good idea. We set up accounts with weird profiles on a dating site to see who could draw in some of the weirdest matches. Here's one I got today.

She's full figured, a smoker, and her best feature is her hair. She also has a strategically placed tattoo. She has a pet dog she saved from the pound and she says he is a "tooter". She also has a fish but told me to ask for his name later (with a smiley face).

She likes to fish and camp and is not afraid to get sweaty. Her mate has to love to fish, really love to fish. Fishing is a big deal to her. She was also in the army and loves to watch the Food Channel. One of her turn-ons is skinny dipping.

I sent her an email:

I'll update if she responds.

I finally find you funny. That's hillarious, man.

Let's be best friends now, ok? 😉

Originally posted by Scottie
Your wifes hot...give me her e-mail

yes she is and NO 😛

Originally posted by ~Da Moose~
I finally find you funny. That's hillarious, man.

Let's be best friends now, ok? 😉

Originally posted by ThePittman
bat

yes she is and NO 😛

Originally posted by ThePittman
I though I was you best friend aww

Well, you're my oldest friend, does that count? 😉

Originally posted by clap
Me and my friend Michael McDonald came up with a good idea. We set up accounts with weird profiles on a dating site to see who could draw in some of the weirdest matches. Here's one I got today.

She's full figured, a smoker, and her best feature is her hair. She also has a strategically placed tattoo. She has a pet dog she saved from the pound and she says he is a "tooter". She also has a fish but told me to ask for his name later (with a smiley face).

She likes to fish and camp and is not afraid to get sweaty. Her mate has to love to fish, really love to fish. Fishing is a big deal to her. She was also in the army and loves to watch the Food Channel. One of her turn-ons is skinny dipping.

I sent her an email:

I'll update if she responds.

Got another response.

She's 32, a smoker and has been married once. She describes herself as curvy and says her best feature is her feet. Here's a little of what she wrote.

Life is to short to worry about all of your problems. Instead I try my hardest to look for the possitive side to everything. I'm a bit of a sarcastic smartallic, but no harm intended. I would just like to meet someone, and has a passion for life, and all it has to offer. I love to fish, go to the races, shoot pool, go to Walmart, interior & exterior decorating, test drive new cars (wierdo), bbq, go swimming (anywhere but Galveston water!), musuem and the zoo.

My reply:

Hey, great to hear from you. I like feet but sarcastic people sometimes get on my friggin nerves. But I'm easy going so that shouldn't be a problem. Do you have a house? I don't.

I thought your bio was fasunating. I get my GED in August. I to have a passion for life. Fishing is probably the greatest thing ever. I met another girl on here that likes to fish. Have you ever done a three-way? I would kick your ass in pool, but test driving cars is out until I get my drivers lisense back.

Write me back and tell me where you want to meet. You can call me clap.

Originally posted by clap
Got another response.

She's 32, a smoker and has been married once. She describes herself as curvy and says her best feature is her feet. Here's a little of what she wrote.

Life is to short to worry about all of your problems. Instead I try my hardest to look for the possitive side to everything. I'm a bit of a sarcastic smartallic, but no harm intended. I would just like to meet someone, and has a passion for life, and all it has to offer. I love to fish, go to the races, shoot pool, go to Walmart, interior & exterior decorating, test drive new cars (wierdo), bbq, go swimming (anywhere but Galveston water!), musuem and the zoo.

My reply:

The pic didn't work...but once more, very funny. 😂

She's 34 and from a small town in Arkansas. She's never been married, she's 6'-1" and she likes to drink alcohol. She says her best feature is her butt. Here's what she wrote:

I am sweet, sexy, outgoing, and honest. I have a great life, but I want someone to share it with. I like to have fun either putting on a dress and going into town or watching a movie at home on the vcr (or Reality TV…I am a complete junkie). We don't get cable, so I don't get to watch all the shows. I am a Christian and have been so blessed in my life. Church is a big deal. I want to date a Christian man who still knows how to live and enjoys drinking. I want someone who likes to travel and explore new things and make our life fun. I want a confidant, fun, cute man to spend time with and get to know.

My response:

'Sup buttercup? I'm pretty sure I'm the man for you. I have been looking for a Christian woman to help raise my kids. My sisters were killed in a freak accident at a tractor pull and now I'm raising all they're kids. If you have any neighbors with cable, I think I can hook you up. Sometimes you have to watch the same channel as them, but it don't cost nothing.

I've always done pretty good with Christian girls, if you know what I mean. There was a girl in my town whose dad was a preacher and she was real fun. We called her the bedbug. I'm also into the drinking thing. I don't even remember most of what I do on the week-ends.

You know what? You look like my brother. Write me back and give me your address and I'll come over. You can call me clap.

Haha, she misspelled "museum"...that "wierdo".

Originally posted by clap

She's 34 and from a small town in Arkansas. She's never been married, she's 6'-1" and she likes to drink alcohol. She says her best feature is her butt. Here's what she wrote:

I am sweet, sexy, outgoing, and honest. I have a great life, but I want someone to share it with. I like to have fun either putting on a dress and going into town or watching a movie at home on the vcr (or Reality TV…I am a complete junkie). We don't get cable, so I don't get to watch all the shows. I am a Christian and have been so blessed in my life. Church is a big deal. I want to date a Christian man who still knows how to live and enjoys drinking. I want someone who likes to travel and explore new things and make our life fun. I want a confidant, fun, cute man to spend time with and get to know.

My response:

😆

She was drunk and passed out on the curb, it doesnt count...petpet

Originally posted by clap
Got another one.

^^ She's 26, lives in Texas and her ethnicity is American.

I live in Texas. 😖hifty:

I'll take her number... I think it'll look good in my cell. 😖hifty:

Smoking is cool. Both my parents were smokers. They are dead now.

OMG 😆 😆 😆

This is the best thread ever

Originally posted by clap
Got another one.

^^ She's 26, lives in Texas and her ethnicity is American.

This girl is from a small town in Texas. She describes herself as full figured and she's 5'-5" tall. Her best feature is her eyes and she loves to cook. Here's a little of what she had to say:

In a relationship, I strive for lots of love, while offering my support, understanding, and trust. I enjoy a multitude of activities and love an evening of cooking dinner at home or a night out as a couple or together with our friends. I have a ginormous (is that a word?) sex drive, but I'm not promiscuous.

As for my potential match, I'm not looking for perfection, but I am looking for someone real and genuine. Sincerity and good looks are a must, as are a good sense of humor and an ability to laugh at yourself. I laugh at myself all of the time and I love that about myself.

I responded:

Wow, I was so suprised to get this. Thanks. I usually get the weirdos. But friggin bingo on this one, huh?

I laugh at myself all of the time and so do other people. People are always doing stuff to me at work. Sometimes to mess with people I part my hair on a different side. Its hard to do, but I know how to do it.

If you have any pictures of yourself without clothes on, I'd like to show some of my buds at work. You can send them to my email. I know all about how to copy them onto a disk.

Do you know how to cook biscuits and gravy? I'm guessing that you do, and I love them. I could eat them all day. My mom says I'm better than a garbage disposal.

If you have a boat, that would be cool. I have some old life jackets I bought in a garage sale. I'm pretty good looking, I think. They say I look like a real short David Hasselhof. My friend Pnut said I look like I ate David Hasselhof. He kills me.

I'm ready to meet you, so email me the directions. You can call me clap.

😆

Originally posted by clap

This girl is from a small town in Texas. She describes herself as full figured and she's 5'-5" tall. Her best feature is her eyes and she loves to cook. Here's a little of what she had to say:

In a relationship, I strive for lots of love, while offering my support, understanding, and trust. I enjoy a multitude of activities and love an evening of cooking dinner at home or a night out as a couple or together with our friends. I have a ginormous (is that a word?) sex drive, but I'm not promiscuous.

As for my potential match, I'm not looking for perfection, but I am looking for someone real and genuine. Sincerity and good looks are a must, as are a good sense of humor and an ability to laugh at yourself. I laugh at myself all of the time and I love that about myself.

I responded: