Finti...Jesus...am I hearing this right? 😆
I remember a group of girls that liked me (and I liked them a little too) came by my house at midnight and woke me up. They started blowing kisses at me and they were wearin close to nothin. My dad woke up when one of them shouted somethin naughty (won't post it here, the kiddies could be readin). He looked out the window and went "What the hell?!" I was so embarrased! The next day my dad grounded me.
Another time Bespin Bart took me and one of my girlfriends up to Sequoia National Forest (where I went for vacation this year) in his new car. During the night me and my gf had to take showers. So she went to take a shower, and I went shortly after that. I always took the 2nd shower stall from the door (public showers), so I walked into the 2nd stall and undressed. My gf had turned the shower off just b4 I came in, so I didn't realize we were in the same stall. She pulled back the curtain and we both screamed bloody murder. I pulled up my boxers and ran back to the cabin.
Once me and the same girl (her name is Alissa) were up in Sequoia and we had to share a bed. She rolled on top of me like 10 times. I had been sleepin nude because it was really really really hot that night, and she was just wearing her underwear. 😱
Ok, basically through the last eight years or so I've always been painfully aware of the fact that my friends go out madly socialising every Friday night while I was stuck at home being ill.
Now I am mostly recovered I am slowly increasing my physical activity, so for pretty much the first time the friday night just gone I went out with them all, on the idea that I had a lift home with one of them. We went to a new Wetherspoon's in town called the Ivory Peg, which is ideal for me as there isn't too much smoke (VERY bad with smoke...) and no music threatening to shake my eardrum out of my head. What it also has is sofas. Ahhh... sofas...
Anyway, I'm not really used to this going out lark, so I don't do much other than sit on one of the sofas with a friend eoither side, nursing a (remarkably cheap) orange juice. I am vaguely aware of the girls sitting on the sofa opposite us because I think one of them wanted to sit with us, but when she had asked my friend Dave if there was any room he had simply pointed at the empty sofa opposite and said they could sit there. The girls made a bit of a 'be like that!' remark and so sat down, but I wasn't paying much attention, instead whiling away the evening watching my friend Damian pulling so,me very subtle moves on a girl from work nearby, and then getting blind drunk and trying to explain the 'elephants in the boat' game to a dense (or maybe just even more drunk) friend of his.
Anyway, then one of the girls in the opposite sofa calls over to the three of us and asks if any of us have girlfriends. "No," we admit, in turn, and now I feel a right sad bastard, don't I? Sandwiched between two men, forlonrly watching another friend trying to pull, drinking an orange juice with a "sad bastard" aura around me. My first bloody night out as well.
Anyway, said girl then points at me and says "Because he's the most attractive out of any of you and it seems odd..." I could feel the temperature either side of me dropping by some thiry degrees. I don't know if she meant it was odd that | was attractive or odd that I didn't have a girlfriend, but I COULD feel the hate vibes all around. The girl then talks with a friend of hers, forced to stand by Dave's churlish sofa-pointing, and then the girl says "My friend here thinks you're the most attractive as well." I am pretty sure my life was under threat by this point. The second girl then bounds over and asks if she can sit next to me, and before my friends can mess it up I say yes, forcibly shoving Nigel over to one side to make room.
Anyway, cut a long story short, the girl's name was Kate, we live pretty close, we talked for about 15 minutes with Nigel doing everything possible to fuck it up and Dave simply rolling a cigarette nearby. Then Kate's friends were moving on and she invited me to come, but my friends didn't want to go to where they were going and I needed my friends for a ride home, so I couldn't go. Nor, at any point, did I think clearly enough to ask for her number or anything like that (in my defence, everything in the world was moving rather fast for me at this point).
So in any case, I was left for the rest of the evening with my friends complaining what a bastard I was, and that in all their time no girl had EVER approached them, and that it was against the rules... if I had something to show for it I wouldn't have minded. As it was, it was very embarrassing! See?
1. Always always get thier number, if you'd had your beer goggles on you simply don't phone them.
2. If a girl makes a move on you, get away from your friends asap. Its a fact that mates will come up with every story or fact they know about you to make you look a t**t.
3. Don't sit there embarresed with your mates when they're gone, just gloat.
Good work my friend. 😄
There is actually a post script to all that, because we did go down to where those girls went later in the evening. though there was no sign of them (mind you, it was bloody crowded and it was one of those places that blasts incredibly loud 80's music at you all day; went through Girls just want to have fun, Tainted Love and a couple of Wham! hits), and late in the evening I ended up looking into town below from the balcony on the first floor, with Nigel on my right. For no apparent reason he then asks we what a building on the skyline was. I pointed to confirm I was looking at the same one, and told him it was the Essex Polive Headquarters.
At this point, some girls (admittedly less attractive) approach me from the left and ask me what fascinating thing I am pointing at. And I have to admit that, for no readily apparent reason, I seem to be finding the police headquarters so fascinating, at which point they smile, and laugh, and for no apparent reason one of them pokes a faux 'amusing' large blow-up dildo between the two of us, and they say they will leave us to it.
I found THAT pretty embarrassing as well, especially as my friends afterwards were back to the 'You bastard!' insults and trying to work out what it was that had gotten girls to approach me twice in one night.
I really don't understand the world...
Oh the old blow-up dildo approach, they sound like the kind of girls your friends like but your mother doesn't. 😉
In my exprience when men go out looking for totty, then they come home empty handed. On the other hand, when you're just out for a drink then you seem to become a totty magnet. I don't know why, but thats just the way it is.
Well, I'm not sure if I have been missing anything worthwhile all these years... I might be a tadette hesitant to go out again.
I have no idea how one would go out looking for totty. I'd never dare.
Nigel thinks it was my air of innocent, out-of-place vulnerability that was doing it, and was trying to impersonate me for the rest of the evening. Which admittedly wasn't long because I'd had enough by that point.
I think its quite obvious, and I can usually tell, when blokes or women are "on the pull" because they are all giving out the vibe. Thats never attractive in either sex. There's always an air of desperation about them, especially as the night draws on and time is running out, thats when the moves are made usually in a drunken manner.
Makes me feel good to be attached seeing that. 😎