Dumbest Things You've Heard?

Stupid people annoy me. Stupid people who talk annoy me more. Having to listen to very stupid people talk grates on my nerves to an almost intolerable extent. So, this is a thread where one can state the dumbest things that one has ever heard uttered by one's peers.

*Before the thread is inundated by "lolz Bush" or "Anne Coulter sez," I'd like to keep this as politically neutral (and thus flame-free and on-topic) as possible.*

My friend: "The only thing that matters with a graphics card is the amount of RAM in it."

Me: "...Don't talk."

The same friend: "Scuba? What's that?"

Another friend: "It's a 'self-contained underwater breathing apparatus'--an airtank that divers use."

Me (incredulous): "What did you think we used?"

My friend: "Those big suits with the helmets and air lines."

A female classmate, after hearing about the school shootings that took place two years ago (Indian Nazi guy ring a bell?): "Dang terrorists."

Me (incredulous): "Yes, 'dang terrorists.' Because terrorists were the ones who attacked the school. They would clearly send a message to the American public by attacking a school on an Indian reservation. And, instead of using bombs, as they often do, they used guns."

Female classmate: *Mutters something about 9/11.*

Me: "You know, I think she's right. This 'terrorist' school shooting is remarkably similar to 9/11, what with the shooting instead of planes and a few dead versus almost 3,000. We should all have a moment of silence."

So, share your stories.

*lists Deano's posts, closes eyes, points to computer screen*

Originally posted by KidRock
*lists Deano's posts, closes eyes, points to computer screen*

Although, that post was funny enough to make me laugh.

Person 1: THE GOVERNMENT WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR 9/11! I CAN PROVE IT USING UNCLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS AND QUOTES TAKEN OUT OF CONTEXT!

Me: ...

9/11 conspiracy theorists are completely and utterly retarded.

And a real life one:
Teacher (health class teacher): Incision made in a woman's stomach from which the baby is birthed if the baby is not aligned correctly for normal birth..?

Girl: *raises hand* Kidney?

I have never laughed so hard at someone. Yes, it actually happened.

Brilliant.

Reminds me of a time when there was a crime scene investigator speaking at my high school. When queried about average salary, he gave a longer answer that ended with, "...on average, about sixty-five."

A girl asked, "An hour or per day?"

quote from conspiracy theorist on TLC: "Yes, i do believe the landing on the moon in 1969 was staged, they filmed on a studio lot"

quote from ex girlfriend: "im not braking up with you because youre a bad person, its just that i need time to myself to figure out who i am"
*walks into her house two hours later to find her on top of some dude*

some guy in drama class: "there is really no proof that Jesus ever existed"
Me: "what do you call the bible? or any of the other Christian, Jewish, and Roman sources naming Jesus within their texts?"
Drama guy: "Oh my god have you even read The Da Vinci Code?"

Originally posted by .😖pace Opera:.
*

some guy in drama class: "there is really no proof that Jesus ever existed"
Me: "what do you call the bible? or any of the other Christian, Jewish, and Roman sources naming Jesus within their texts?"
Drama guy: "Oh my god have you even read The Da Vinci Code?"

LOL!

In my theatre class, we were debating gay marriage:

Dipshit: "Gay marriage should be banned because it's against God"

Me: "Yes, because God has legislative power in these here United States"

Dipshit: "There's no legal basis to give gay marriage"

Me: "Ever heard of the 14th Amendment?"

Dipshit: "What?"

^ 😂

imbecile in Gov. class: The World Trade Center movie was so much more creative than Lady in the Water

....*BANG*

Originally posted by FeceMan
Stupid people annoy me. Stupid people who talk annoy me more. Having to listen to very stupid people talk grates on my nerves to an almost intolerable extent.

😂

Fece needs to up his meds. then all will be ok........

a girl in class argued with me about how her mother had told her that potatoes were starches not vegetables(who says their mom told them, honestly, that is sucha lame excuse)

same girl told me that you can drive to Europe from Alaska if you "take the back roads"

Originally posted by allofyousuckkk
a girl in class argued with me about how her mother had told her that potatoes were starches not vegetables(who says their mom told them, honestly, that is sucha lame excuse)

same girl told me that you can drive to Europe from Alaska if you "take the back roads"

how many millenai old is this girl?

Originally posted by allofyousuckkk
same girl told me that you can drive to Europe from Alaska if you "take the back roads"

Originally posted by allofyousuckkk
same girl told me that you can drive to Europe from Alaska if you "take the back roads"

The phrasing is funny, but as a matter of fact it is possible.

Originally posted by Bardock42
The phrasing is funny, but as a matter of fact it is possible.

Originally posted by KidRock
*lists Deano's posts, closes eyes, points to computer screen*

that is rich. seriously.

i havent laughed like that in a long time. thank you

The other day, I was standing next to my girlfriend, and I freaked out for a second and said, "Woah, you've got longer arms than me!" ... A few seconds later I realised this appeared to be true only because she is shorter than me.

Originally posted by Ya Krunk'd Floo
The other day, I was standing next to my girlfriend, and I freaked out for a second and said, "Woah, you've got longer arms than me!" ... A few seconds later I realised this appeared to be true only because she is shorter than me.

Haha, and because you said it you also heard it..that's good.