You could say that...
Sorry I didn't write the entry yesterday so here it is:
Dear Ichy,
I want to curl up in my beautiful LA house and DIE!! Serves me right for accepting to go out with the sad sack and the perverted skeleton girl.
How does that girl stay so skinny anyway? She ate like an elephant during dinner tonight. She ate a salad, a steak, fries, cake, peanuts(of all things why did she have to eat peanuts? That was MY thing.). She finished the rest of my sandwich and desert and she still had room.
Tee and Jaeh were behaving for once. I think they sensed the angry vibe I was giving off. Gore and Jerry were busy talking about the CGI they're doing on the battle scene.
I really appreciate that sad sack tried to bring peace between the three of us I really do and it seemed like it was working too.
Keira, Orli and I were making small talk about Keira's underwear(which is the only subject we have anything to say about except for Sparrabeth and Willabeth) when all of a sudden Gore suggested we go to a karoake bar.Very lovely idea isn't it??
NO IT ISN'T!! Because certain skinny anorexic british actresses get drunk and go up to sing on the stage. Guess what she sang? She sang Fergelicious by Fergie only she changed the lyrics so the song turned into "Depelicious" instead.
I will never forget the memory of her singing "T to the A to the STEY Johnny Depp is so TASTEY" and dancing too. Next thing u know everyone notices I'm in the room and things got very...interesting as Captain Jack would say.
I had to sign a gril's bra for god's sake! I can handle fans thanks very much but DRUNK fangirl who want to kiss me from head to toe...NO THANK YOU!!!
Now all of the people I came with except sad sack and the female version of skelington have gone back to the camp site...(what was up with Gore and Jerry? They were acting wierd! Like they had a guilty secret of some sorts)
I'm in the restroom now! The only place the girls can't come but I'm going to be brave and go out there...and face my biggest fears with dignity if not bravery.
I just pray (oh god you must be up there because no way man came up with red wine and rock music all by himself) that I'll still be alive by the time this is over.
I HOPE I'll see u again and won't be killed(or violated in any way) and that I can see my family again.
Ta!
noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, i just wrote a really long one but I wasn't signed in!!!!!!!! So Orlando take two!!!!!!!!
Dear nobody
I tried so hard to make this night out a sucess, I was kinda hopping keira would finally come over to the right side, but alas Gore told me that we could only have the night out if there was no mention of Sparrabeth or Willabeth in the interest of health, saftey and his sanity. Anyway, it was quite dull we just made small talk about Keira's knickers. Then it got interesting... really interesting we went to a Karaoke bar where Keira and the monkey did shoots, then She got up and sang "Depilicious". You have no idea how mad I was! 😠 Just as I was about to punch Johnny all these fangirls started chasing him, so i saved me the bother.
As soon as Keira saw all the fangirls chase Johnny away she came a slumped in a seat next to me, I saw this as the opportune moment! I tried to make small talk with innuendo, and the next thing I knew I was up on stage singing the llama song! http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama.php I probably should have sung something more romantic but I can't really remember agreeing to doing karaoke.
Next thing I know Johnny is sitting next to Keira and they're drinking rum and singing "A Pirates Life for Me"! I remember what the out come was last time this happened 😈 I just hope Johnny gets caught in the blast this time! 💃
Orly
Jerry
Dear me,
Gore is on the verge of losing it, and I have to keep things under control. He's planning something REAL BIG, and he still isn't telling me anything! and the CGI scenes are going great, but there is a wee bit problem concerning davey jones... err, tentacles. they look... they look cooked in the shots. COOKED, that's what i said. roasted or barbequed, sometimes fried. weird. sometimes they would some out with seaweed and rice sticking on them like sushi. I think the ILM guy who's in-charge is hungry.
And for once, Jaeh and tee are actually BEHAVING. I think it has something to do with Depp's... hmm... breakdown. I think the underwear(I'm not sure if that's it... but, i must agree it was rather traumatic.) got to him. And, they(depp, sad-sack, Gore, knightly...) went off yesterday. The.. sad-sack... begged me to come, but i told him i've got a lot of stuff to do... for the movie and all... truth is though, I don't want to go. Knightly ate all my jellybeans, peanuts, and apples, and we're still not speaking. she ate my awesome chocolate statue replica of myself(i know, very conceited, but my wife had nothing else to do that day and...). Sad-sack also begged me to wear a willabeth pin, (he's still bugging me, but his actions are relatively quiet these days) and he accidentally pinned it to my shirt including my skin. Now i've got this nasty(but cool) fresh wound on my chest, like my heart has been removed....... wait, did i just say that?
Anyway, i haven't seen Davenport, the parrot, and the monkey anywhere, except on shoots. where are they? are they planning something big? again?
I WANT MY JELLYBEANS BACK!
Jerry-poo