Can Love and Sex be Separate?

Started by Creshosk15 pages

Originally posted by chithappens
Well to really find the exception we have to define love but I'm not sure I want to go there.
Isn't
A.) That's what this thread is about.
B.) You started to do that?

Originally posted by chithappens
Well to really find the exception we have to define love but I'm not sure I want to go there.

Well lets put it this way I think very few people could do stuff like that and be genuine. Some people are just different.

A) True, but I have been simply been glossing over this thread for a reason. I don't think there is any real conclusion we can come to as a whole. Defining love with a group of people is like discussing theology - everyone is stubborn and hardly listening; hence, the previous three pages.

B) Started, but I'll back off and let someone else attempt it.

Originally posted by Alfheim
Well lets put it this way I think very few people could do stuff like that and be genuine. Some people are just different.

Nothing said is an absolute (even that LOL). I mean that in a general not but universal sense.

Originally posted by chithappens
Nothing said is an absolute (even that LOL). I mean that in a general not but universal sense.

Yeah I would agree with that.

Originally posted by Kelly_Bean
What a retard. You're just saying that to get a rise out of people.
yes, please elaborate on that.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
yes, please elaborate on that.

Because he used the statement that he typed "solemnly" and insulted anyone else that thought differently and that isn't fair just because he's heartless and only needs sex doesn't mean everyone else is/does.

Originally posted by Kelly_Bean
Because he used the statement that he typed "solemnly" and insulted anyone else that thought differently and that isn't fair just because he's heartless and only needs sex doesn't mean everyone else is/does.
It seems like he's advocating fidelity. Even before his edit it seemed fairly obvious that he meant that you can't claim to love one person and then go and sleep with other people.

And admitedly your first response sounded like you were advocating a justification of promiscuous behavior. Now it sounds like there's a simple misunderstanding.

Generally it seems to me that the romantic types that would have a greater chance of plasing emphasis on the romantic part of love would answer the first post with a no. I certianly would, because I would not be able to love a person fully and then sleep with another person.

I get the vibe from your latest post that you would be a romantic type that defends the concept of love with that last line of yours

"just because he's heartless and only needs sex"

I doubt he's heartless, he probably can't bare the thought of sleeping with anyone other than the one he loves either.

I dunno, I just get this vibe from you that, hard to exlain but seems like the romantic type. Forgive me if I read the signals poorly, I am after all male.

Originally posted by vinz07
Can you be in love with one person, and still have sex with another, and still love that other person fully? 😕

Originally posted by chithappens
No. Anyone who says different is too insecure and childish to just stick it out with one person.

Period.

Edit: To clarify, I mean no person can say they are in love with someone but then go around having sex with other people.

Originally posted by Kelly_Bean
What a retard. You're just saying that to get a rise out of people.

Originally posted by Kelly_Bean
Because he used the statement that he typed "solemnly" and insulted anyone else that thought differently and that isn't fair just because he's heartless and only needs sex doesn't mean everyone else is/does.
I see. good elaboration.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
I see. good elaboration.
N-no. Actually pretty bad, considering he said just the opposite.

Sex is one thing.
Love is something else. Sex can sometimes be the by product of love.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
I see. good elaboration.

I win. w00t

Originally posted by Sanctuary
N-no. Actually pretty bad, considering he said just the opposite.
I was a good elaboration of her post, not his.

Originally posted by Adam_PoE
Focusing on motivations that you may never know, and events that are fixed and unchangeable is in your best interest how?

You are redefining the situation. If I am to concern myself with the motives of others, doing so with my loved ones is of absolute necessity. I would certainly want to know why someone I care about does something that I may be offended by.

Originally posted by Adam_PoE
You are conflating my response to one question with my response to another question.

In your first post you stated a solid "No" to the question can someone truly love someone if they cheat on them ? Then you say that if a person cheats on you, "they don't love you enough"

So which is it ?

Is it, "No, they don't love you"

or

"They do, but not enough"...

Btw, it was the same question for both of your answers.

Originally posted by Adam_PoE
I certainly would not characterize infidelity as behavior that is indicative of love, would you?

Ofcourse not. That's not the point. If I yell at my boyfreind, slap him, or put him down, those are not actions indicate of love either. However, that wouldn't mean I don't love him or vise versa.

People do bad things to other people all the time. It's not acceptable, but there's reasons, not excuses, as to why these things happen.

Should I cut my mother out of my life if she steals some of my money or does or says something I am horribly offended by ?

I would try and make things work before I make such a drastic decision as cutting her out of my life.

Likewise, if a boyfreind I really cared about did something like that, I would try to analyse the situation and see what actually happened, before jumping to the conclusion that "this guy doesn't really love me"

Originally posted by Adam_PoE
In both instances, your loved one is dead. The intentions of the driver do not change this. See the point?

No, because you are changing your point.

You have initially stated that : 1) if a person does something to hurt you, then that means they don't love you.

Then, your point has become:2) Whether the action was done due to lack of love or not is irrelevant, the point is the damage is done

I am not arguing whether or not cheating is right or wrong, or if its forgivable or non forgivable.

I am saying, that Sex does not Equal Love, and that just because someone cheats on you doesn't mean they never truly loved you.

That is the question of this thread. There are plenty of motives for cheating, and lack of Love is not always the reason.

Originally posted by Adam_PoE
It is your story, you can tell it anyway you want to.

I don't understand what you are trying to say here....

Originally posted by Goddess Kali
Ofcourse not. That's not the point. If I yell at my boyfreind, slap him, or put him down, those are not actions indicate of love either. However, that wouldn't mean I don't love him or vise versa.
Aside from your equivocation, could you explain to me how you accidently cheat on someone?

Originally posted by Creshosk
Aside from your equivocation, could you explain to me how you accidently cheat on someone?

You could mistake their back for a coffee table and take a test next to a person already using the coffee table back and cheat off of the person next to you.

In the sexual sense...You can cheat on someone easily. If your partner says it is okay to have sex with someone else...but they really didn't mean yes and it was sarcasm and you didn't pick up on it...and then you had sex with that other person...then it was an accident that the situation happened. [sarcasm]Happens all the time...I swear.[/sarcasm]

Originally posted by Creshosk
Aside from your equivocation, could you explain to me how you accidently cheat on someone?

You don't accidently slap, yell at, or put down someone either. What a stupid attempt to undermine my point 🙄

Okay, I will finally enter this thread...

Originally posted by Goddess Kali
You don't accidently slap, yell at, or put down someone either. What a stupid attempt to undermine my point 🙄
Actually yeah, loose your temper, and you will do it without really meaning to.

Now, don't dodge again, how do you accidently cheat on someone?

Get horny and then sleep with someone? 🙄

Or allow yourself to be seduced? 🙄

Originally posted by Goddess Kali
You are redefining the situation. If I am to concern myself with the motives of others, doing so with my loved ones is of absolute necessity. I would certainly want to know why someone I care about does something that I may be offended by.

This does not answer the question, “How does focusing on motivations that you may never know and events that you cannot change serve your best interest?”

Expressing an interest in focusing on these things does not explain how doing so is beneficial to you.

Originally posted by Goddess Kali
In your first post you stated a solid "No" to the question can someone truly love someone if they cheat on them ? Then you say that if a person cheats on you, "they don't love you enough"

So which is it ?

Is it, "No, they don't love you"

or

"They do, but not enough"...

Btw, it was the same question for both of your answers.

One who is unfaithful to his partner does not love him or her enough to be faithful. Love in which one does not love his partner enough to be faithful is not true. Therefore, one who does not love his partner enough to be faithful does not truly love him or her.

Same answer; different questions.

Originally posted by Goddess Kali
Ofcourse not. That's not the point. If I yell at my boyfreind, slap him, or put him down, those are not actions indicate of love either. However, that wouldn't mean I don't love him or vise versa.

People do bad things to other people all the time. It's not acceptable, but there's reasons, not excuses, as to why these things happen.

Should I cut my mother out of my life if she steals some of my money or does or says something I am horribly offended by ?

I would try and make things work before I make such a drastic decision as cutting her out of my life.

Likewise, if a boyfreind I really cared about did something like that, I would try to analyse the situation and see what actually happened, before jumping to the conclusion that "this guy doesn't really love me"

Again, there is quite a difference between raising your voice out of frustration, and fundamentally betraying your partner.

Originally posted by Goddess Kali
No, because you are changing your point.

You have initially stated that : [b]1) if a person does something to hurt you, then that means they don't love you.[/b]

I did not state that; see above.

Originally posted by Goddess Kali
Then, your point has become:[b]2) Whether the action was done due to lack of love or not is irrelevant, the point is the damage is done[/b]

This is a separate argument addressing the nature of fidelity, not the question posed by this thread.

Originally posted by Goddess Kali
I am not arguing whether or not cheating is right or wrong, or if its forgivable or non forgivable.

[b]I am saying, that Sex does not Equal Love, and that just because someone cheats on you doesn't mean they never truly loved you.

My argument is that infidelity is a fundamental betrayal of one’s partner, and the love of one who betrays his partner in this way is categorically not true.

Originally posted by Goddess Kali
That is the question of this thread. There are plenty of motives for cheating, and lack of Love is not always the reason.

Who stated that lack of love is the only reason for infidelity?