Originally posted by XvampbenjiiX666
...and you wonder why i hate people
No one wonders that.
But for more constructive criticism:
My Angel
You are my angel,
My life, my everything,
My reason to believe.
(needs some leading up to)
It will hurt, when you are gone,
Though I know you will be there.
I know you will be the wind,
Blowing through my hair.
You will watch over me
Make sure we all do right.
And don't worry about me,
I've changed and won't
Hurt myself, you see?
I just hope I'll see you again some day
My angel, my light ...my way.
I edited a few things to make it flow easier, it's not perfect of course, but maybe you can see what we are talking about. When I read your poetry I am often stumped, because it doesn't flow at all, there are setences that just go on that I have no idea how to read. So I cut some stuff and changed it a bit around, again, no offense, just trying to show you what I mean.
Originally posted by Jedireaper
In fact worse than bad these are sickening peices of shit you should just quit writing lolIm sorry im just tellin the truth hahaha
GUYS LEAVE HIM THE ****ING HELL ALONE! I'M SICK AND TIERED OF WATCHING YOU GUYS DISS ON HIM!
JR how could you be such an ass? You're a writer yes, but not all writers have the same views on life. You have no right to say these suck. I dont care who you are or how great your writing is, people praise your word. You're the famous JR The RP Critic. I thought I knew you better then that JR... Really I did.
I love your poems Justin and I print each one off and keep them in my wallet beside your picture. And if anyone disagrees then they can kiss my Wiccan ass!
Originally posted by Bardock42
No one wonders that.But for more constructive criticism:
[b]My Angel
You are my angel,
My life, my everything,
My reason to believe.(needs some leading up to)
It will hurt, when you are gone,
Though I know you will be there.
I know you will be the wind,
Blowing through my hair.You will watch over me
Make sure we all do right.And don't worry about me,
I've changed and won't
Hurt myself, you see?I just hope I'll see you again some day
My angel, my light ...my way.I edited a few things to make it flow easier, it's not perfect of course, but maybe you can see what we are talking about. When I read your poetry I am often stumped, because it doesn't flow at all, there are setences that just go on that I have no idea how to read. So I cut some stuff and changed it a bit around, again, no offense, just trying to show you what I mean. [/B]
And you get the **** out of here this isnt your poetry thread! THAT GOES FOR THE REST OF YOU ASS HOLES!
Originally posted by Bardock42
Wannabe Satanic you mean.
yes i can see that he is very helpful just please return this thread to what it use to be and leave him alone! Where in the US does it say that someone doesnt have the right to choose their religion? Please leave and return this thread to what it was meant to be.
Originally posted by DangerousBeauty
yes i can see that he is very helpful just please return this thread to what it use to be and leave him alone! Where in the US does it say that someone doesnt have the right to choose their religion? Please leave and return this thread to what it was meant to be.
yeah, but in the specific post you quoted he was being helpful. Just saying.
after kinda getting to know Benji a wee bit more last night, I realise he's actually pretty cool.
he is very kind which is why i dont like to see him getting bashed like this. 9 pages of nothing but people criticizing him and his religion. He's a kind heart and not at all like the stereotype people give him.... He's very sweet and it breaks my heart to hear whats going on in here... Do you people know how your word bother him? I've spoken to him many a night and listened to him speak of what is going on in here, and it leaves him almost in tears.
I just wish people would try to understand him before ruining a poetry thread like this.