Why do we fear rejection or loneliness ?

Started by Atlantis0013 pages

Why do we fear rejection or loneliness ?

We can fear many things like rejection, loneliness, humiliaton, pain or losing our lives, but what exactly we fear ?

Is fear about losing something ? I mean, in a situation like rejection or loneliness. What we could possibly lose from these situations ? There is no life risk, no real danger. So why do we fear it ?

By an evolutionary perspective, we could say that these fears are related to survival. So we could say that we fear loneliness, for example because it is more probable for us to survive if we live in group. But I believe this provides more an answer to what is the function of these fears in nature, then to what those fears are about.

So what I am really asking is, for example, when we are in a situation where we could be rejected, or when we become aware of the possibility of being rejected or being alone, why we feel fear if there is no real danger ? Why do we fear it ?

People have the need to feel desirable. Rejection lowers our self-esteem, which could lead to experiencing feelings of worthlessness and not belonging.

Most people don't have much of a good self image, otherwise it wouldn't be much to get over.

Originally posted by Storm
People have the need to feel desirable. Rejection lowers our self-esteem, which could lead to experiencing feelings of worthlessness and not belonging.

But why people need to feel desirable ? Is there a way to answer that without making reference to our instincts or its biological significance ?

People with a good self image don't have a need to feel desirable, imo.

Originally posted by Deja~vu
People with a good self image don't have a need to feel desirable, imo.

Many psychologists would argue that, that is because they already feel that they are desirable.

In my opinion, humans fear loneliness because they feel they have no purpose when there isn't anyone else to notice it. Most can only justify their existence through the acknowledgement of others. Humans naturally don't want such feelings.

Many people make the mistake of justifying their worth on others opinions of them.

Most people are born into a family (whether that be a mom+dad or mom+her friends or anti+uncle ...etc.)as we grow we go to school and we become part of a larger family(community)
so being alone is very hard.Why would you want to be if you have been apart of something for so long
as well as that there is also the fact that when most people are born they have people who stand around saying aww isn't she/he cute and as the child grows they get the isn't he/she beautifully or you are wonderful just the way you are! and that gives most people the impression that they have to live up to the standard's of others

Originally posted by Atlantis001
We can fear many things like rejection, loneliness, humiliaton, pain or losing our lives, but what exactly we fear ?

Is fear about losing something ? I mean, in a situation like rejection or loneliness. What we could possibly lose from these situations ? There is no life risk, no real danger. So why do we fear it ?

By an evolutionary perspective, we could say that these fears are related to survival. So we could say that we fear loneliness, for example because it is more probable for us to survive if we live in group. But I believe this provides more an answer to what is the function of these fears in nature, then to what those fears are about.

So what I am really asking is, for example, when we are in a situation where we could be rejected, or when we become aware of the possibility of being rejected or being alone, why we feel fear if there is no real danger ? Why do we fear it ?

It all boils down to Death Terror.

Originally posted by Storm
People have the need to feel desirable. Rejection lowers our self-esteem, which could lead to experiencing feelings of worthlessness and not belonging.

Not just desirable, but we are social creatures, so anything that would inhibit our social nature (deny us of our own being) will of course be something we fear. It's like asking why are we afraid of death? Simple. Because we are creatures, like all other kinds, that tend to lean towards life. Why we lean towards life, however, is subjective to our own personal philosophy.

Originally posted by Atlantis001
But why people need to feel desirable ? Is there a way to answer that without making reference to our instincts or its biological significance ?

To deny our psychology is to deny the essence of the answer. Philosophy can not deny what makes it. Psychology impacts our personal philosophy to the extent that without it, what do we have?

People are as stupid as apes. I know it now.

Originally posted by Deja~vu
People are as stupid as apes. I know it now.

Mob-mentality? Maybe. But a sole individual? You'd be stupid to say otherwise.

Originally posted by Mindship
It all boils down to Death Terror.

Everything does. >>

Originally posted by Mindship
It all boils down to Death Terror.

What a wonderful phrase.

Originally posted by King of Blades
Mob-mentality? Maybe. But a sole individual? You'd be stupid to say otherwise.
Easily influenced by others gossip, Ape, dumb...stupid. At least as we know it, apes don't gossip or do they.

Originally posted by Deja~vu
Easily influenced by others gossip, Ape, dumb...stupid. At least as we know it, apes don't gossip or do they.

The weaknesses of some are not the weaknesses of all. Apes still form prejudices, and their little cliques. Though humans aren't the same as apes. We may share similar similar anatomies, and basic social structure, but to compare man to an ape would be comparing a pebble to a mountain. Similar but not the same.

Again sole individuals brought freedom to a nation, united a people against racial prejudice, cured diseases, enhanced medical practices, etc. Sole individuals did these, not monkeys. Find me a monkey that finds a cure to cancer or builds great towers and vehicles that stand as monuments to the advance of man.

Originally posted by Symmetric Chaos
What a wonderful phrase.
I thought that was Hakuna Matata.

Originally posted by Storm
People have the need to feel desirable. Rejection lowers our self-esteem, which could lead to experiencing feelings of worthlessness and not belonging.

Cosigned.

Also look up Maslows Hierarchy.

i hate everyone and everything and i still fear rejection 🙁