Re: Should you marry someone who politically and religiously different than you?
Originally posted by =Tired Hiker=
Do you think having the same political and religious beliefs are important to a successful marriage? Is it bad for a very liberal person to spend a lifetime with someone who is very conservative? Should atheists only marry atheists? Or do opposites attract, and if they do, can you really depend on that as a solid foundation for a long lasting relationship?
Some say Love is all important, a spark - some common intrest - if u marry the female version of yourself, and your child wants to express different views, being that you and your wife are so politically and religeiusly set, you will most likely forbid your child from expressing himself olitically and religeously.
Sorry i am bad at explaining things, but what i mean is this..
Parents who baptise their children - both mother and father feel the same way religeously a d immediatley the child is shown the direction in which he MUST, Nay, is not shown but forced in the parents way of thinking..this is always wrong - not the actual belief but the fact the child is not given a choice...Religion isabout a choice - not about extremities like Childhood baptism. imo.
So no, political views and religeious beliefs should be Conversational peices at most, each to thee own, you are 2 seperate people who will love eachother for that very reason..you like someone the way they are, or u don't..
-2 cents-
Originally posted by =Tired Hiker=It worked for James Carville and Mary Matalin.
Do you think having the same political and religious beliefs are important to a successful marriage? Is it bad for a very liberal person to spend a lifetime with someone who is very conservative? Should atheists only marry atheists? Or do opposites attract, and if they do, can you really depend on that as a solid foundation for a long lasting relationship?
So I'm dating this girl and everything seems pretty great. She's a lapsed Christian who has beliefs but not strong ones, and knew I was an atheist since date #1.
So tonight she comes over to mooch some free pizza, then breaks up with me because I'm atheist. Apparently any other belief system would've been acceptable to her. Eye-opening, really, and a bit frustrating since she really could've wasted less of my time and money.
Regardless of whether or not you think it's a potential problem (I'm of the mind that it doesn't need to be, since you can expose children to your own beliefs and others without specifically raising them as anything, and also because I don't see disagreement in such matters as antagonistic toward an otherwise healthy relationship, merely as interesting discussion and natural disagreement that people have over a variety of issues) but the stigma that it is a problem certainly exists in many.
Originally posted by DigiMark007
So I'm dating this girl and everything seems pretty great. She's a lapsed Christian who has beliefs but not strong ones, and knew I was an atheist since date #1.So tonight she comes over to mooch some free pizza, then breaks up with me because I'm atheist. Apparently any other belief system would've been acceptable to her. Eye-opening, really, and a bit frustrating since she really could've wasted less of my time and money.
Regardless of whether or not you think it's a potential problem (I'm of the mind that it doesn't need to be, since you can expose children to your own beliefs and others without specifically raising them as anything, and also because I don't see disagreement in such matters as antagonistic toward an otherwise healthy relationship, merely as interesting discussion and natural disagreement that people have over a variety of issues) but the stigma that it is a problem certainly exists in many.
I've had that happen also. Pretty damn lame.
Originally posted by chithappens
I've had that happen also. Pretty damn lame.
True. You have my sympathies.
Once I realized that me saying this:
I'm of the mind that it doesn't need to be a problem, since you can expose children to your own beliefs and others without specifically raising them as anything, and also because I don't see disagreement in such matters as antagonistic toward an otherwise healthy relationship, merely as interesting discussion and natural disagreement that people have over a variety of issues
...wasn't going to save things, I cynically turned it into a sociological experiment to find out exactly what upset her so much and what beliefs/non-beliefs irked her.
I make no claims to having a stranglehold on the truth, but I'm fairly intellectually well-defended on my beliefs. She...wasn't. It amounted to a series of intuitive feelings that things "must be true." It ranged from Jesus and God to obscurity like karma, reincarnation, psychics, and Oijia (sic) boards. As I presented evidence against some of those (though, not to appear too vindictive, I didn't overtly challenge the "big" beliefs) she obstinately refused that I even had decent points. Her stalwart faith in pretty much anything paranormal was in itself enough (in her mind) to debunk rational arguments. Fundamentalism. Just in a different guise than the normally religion-specific fundamentalism we see.
So basically, she freaked because I "believed nothing" (her words, not mine). I believe plenty of things, I told her, they just all have a rational foundation to them. Then I ended with an eloquent (imo) defense of a scientific worldview than shuns potentially harmful dogmatism and faith for provisional truths based on evidence, and also how one can have and cherish beauty, love, tolerance, happiness, etc. outside of any transempirical beliefs. She had a headache, I don't think she listened at the time. I said it anyway.
Sucks because this is what I'll be dealing with. Not in this identical form, no doubt, but variations of it. And I shouldn't have to limit myself to an obscure percentage of the population simply because of my beliefs. I'm essentially the same happy, caring person as an atheist as I was as a Christian....and I don't discriminate based on a person's beliefs for the reasons stated earlier, and wish I could receive the same courtesy.
So basically, screw girls.
😐
Originally posted by DigiMark007
So I'm dating this girl and everything seems pretty great. She's a lapsed Christian who has beliefs but not strong ones, and knew I was an atheist since date #1.So tonight she comes over to mooch some free pizza, then breaks up with me because I'm atheist. Apparently any other belief system would've been acceptable to her. Eye-opening, really, and a bit frustrating since she really could've wasted less of my time and money.
Regardless of whether or not you think it's a potential problem (I'm of the mind that it doesn't need to be, since you can expose children to your own beliefs and others without specifically raising them as anything, and also because I don't see disagreement in such matters as antagonistic toward an otherwise healthy relationship, merely as interesting discussion and natural disagreement that people have over a variety of issues) but the stigma that it is a problem certainly exists in many.
You have my sympathies, homie.
If a girl will break up with you for something like that, she prolly isn't that type you'd want to stay with...
Lemme guess...she was hot?
Originally posted by dadudemon
You have my sympathies, homie.If a girl will break up with you for something like that, she prolly isn't that type you'd want to stay with...
Lemme guess...she was hot?
Well, yeah of course ( 😉 ), but the idea was that she knew my religious affiliation since the beginning and never let on any problems until just now (far enough in that wonder why it wasn't sooner)...and then it all came tumbling out. Until that point I honestly thought I'd found a casual religious person who wouldn't be bothered by such things.
Originally posted by DigiMark007
True. You have my sympathies.Once I realized that me saying this:
I'm of the mind that it doesn't need to be a problem, since you can expose children to your own beliefs and others without specifically raising them as anything, and also because I don't see disagreement in such matters as antagonistic toward an otherwise healthy relationship, merely as interesting discussion and natural disagreement that people have over a variety of issues
...wasn't going to save things, I cynically turned it into a sociological experiment to find out exactly what upset her so much and what beliefs/non-beliefs irked her.I make no claims to having a stranglehold on the truth, but I'm fairly intellectually well-defended on my beliefs. She...wasn't. It amounted to a series of intuitive feelings that things "must be true." It ranged from Jesus and God to obscurity like karma, reincarnation, psychics, and Oijia (sic) boards. As I presented evidence against some of those (though, not to appear too vindictive, I didn't overtly challenge the "big" beliefs) she obstinately refused that I even had decent points. Her stalwart faith in pretty much anything paranormal was in itself enough (in her mind) to debunk rational arguments. Fundamentalism. Just in a different guise than the normally religion-specific fundamentalism we see.
So basically, she freaked because I "believed nothing" (her words, not mine). I believe plenty of things, I told her, they just all have a rational foundation to them. Then I ended with an eloquent (imo) defense of a scientific worldview than shuns potentially harmful dogmatism and faith for provisional truths based on evidence, and also how one can have and cherish beauty, love, tolerance, happiness, etc. outside of any transempirical beliefs. She had a headache, I don't think she listened at the time. I said it anyway.
Sucks because this is what I'll be dealing with. Not in this identical form, no doubt, but variations of it. And I shouldn't have to limit myself to an obscure percentage of the population simply because of my beliefs. I'm essentially the same happy, caring person as an atheist as I was as a Christian....and I don't discriminate based on a person's beliefs for the reasons stated earlier, and wish I could receive the same courtesy.
So basically, screw girls.
😐
happens. if you can, try and beleive that it will pass, because it usually does. it cud have been worse.