Originally posted by leonheartmm
happens. if you can, try and beleive that it will pass, because it usually does. it cud have been worse.
Oh, I don't go into existential angst or anything (I save that for legit breakups 😉 ). It's frustrating, but I'm as happy today as I was a week ago, so it's not really something that affects my long-term emotional stability.
Thank you though. I appreciate the kind words.
🙂
Originally posted by queeq
No no... just fake references. I had them made.
😆 😆 😆
There's that witty comeback I was talking about earlier.. 😆 😆 😆
Originally posted by DigiMark007
Oh, I don't go into existential angst or anything (I save that for legit breakups 😉 ). It's frustrating, but I'm as happy today as I was a week ago, so it's not really something that affects my long-term emotional stability.Thank you though. I appreciate the kind words.
🙂
You've become somewhat of a favored member here because you respectfully debate others and try to keep an open mind. We're just makin' sure you ain't gonna slit your wrists tomorow. If you did, who's gonna tell me the strength difference between Colossus and The Thing while also being able to provide logical atheistic POVs?
Originally posted by dadudemon
You've become somewhat of a favored member here because you respectfully debate others and try to keep an open mind.
woot
Originally posted by dadudemon
We're just makin' sure you ain't gonna slit your wrists tomorow.
No, don't worry. 😊
tinkabear
Originally posted by dadudemon
If you did, who's gonna tell me the strength difference between Colossus and The Thing while also being able to provide logical atheistic POVs?
...damnit, you're right. No one else here can do that. I had no idea my niche was so important.
Though to answer the question, I loathe the filthy mutie bastards and was never an FF buff. That's one comic topic I'm actually probably not qualified to answer.
😮
Originally posted by DigiMark007
So basically, screw girls.😐
Here's what you do. Call her back, tell her you thought about it long and hard and she's right, believing in nothing is wrong and you now are a agnostic with Christian tendencies, you can't stand not being with her, blah, blah, blah etc. Don't rush it to quickly, but get her into your bed and **** the granny out of her. Afterwards, that is after you've cummed, kick her ass out of bed and tell her she's a filthy whore.
😂
Sorry, but I smiled a bit. Obviously saying something like that and actually doing it are two different things, and I'm of the mind that if one realizes that it's very wrong and doesn't legitimately consider it, it's not actually reprehensible.
Besides, she wasn't vindictive about it. Just naively close-minded. It's a fair chance that she's never actually been exposed to ideas so far out of her worldview. It speaks to the insular nature of our society as it pertains to religious communities and beliefs, but not to personal evil. I was frustrated but not angry.
This I get.
Originally posted by DigiMark007
So basically, she freaked because I "believed nothing" (her words, not mine). I believe plenty of things, I told her, they just all have a rational foundation to them. Then I ended with an eloquent (imo) defense of a scientific worldview than shuns potentially harmful dogmatism and faith for provisional truths based on evidence, and also how one can have and cherish beauty, love, tolerance, happiness, etc. outside of any transempirical beliefs. She had a headache, I don't think she listened at the time. I said it anyway.
On the other hand unless she pressed you what possible motivation was there for this part?
Originally posted by DigiMark007
I make no claims to having a stranglehold on the truth, but I'm fairly intellectually well-defended on my beliefs. She...wasn't. It amounted to a series of intuitive feelings that things "must be true." It ranged from Jesus and God to obscurity like karma, reincarnation, psychics, and Oijia (sic) boards. As I presented evidence against some of those (though, not to appear too vindictive, I didn't overtly challenge the "big" beliefs) she obstinately refused that I even had decent points. Her stalwart faith in pretty much anything paranormal was in itself enough (in her mind) to debunk rational arguments. Fundamentalism. Just in a different guise than the normally religion-specific fundamentalism we see.
Originally posted by Symmetric Chaos
This I get.On the other hand unless she pressed you what possible motivation was there for this part?
At the very least get something (sex, a nice ouija board, a half dozen sandwiches) out of the relationship before you start trying to dismantle her belief system.
Well, it was clearly over so there was nothing more to "get of of it." The conversation was purely for intellectual curiosity at that point.
And I didn't force the issue. She brought up that it was a problem for her and I asked, quite sincerely, what some of the things were that she believed and what bothered her about my beliefs. From there, the discussion followed naturally. And the dismantling was entirely unintentional....we'd be discussing a topic, I'd have a bunch of reasons for my views, and she'd have few, if any, beyond an intuitive feeling that it was true. And like I said, I stayed away from "big" stuff because, while frustrated, I wasn't intending a "parting shot" against her worldview.
Originally posted by dadudemon
😆 😆 😆There's that witty comeback I was talking about earlier.. 😆 😆 😆
You've become somewhat of a favored member here because you respectfully debate others and try to keep an open mind. We're just makin' sure you ain't gonna slit your wrists tomorow. If you did, who's gonna tell me the strength difference between Colossus and The Thing while also being able to provide logical atheistic POVs?
If you don't know the strength difference between Colossus and The Thing by now, in 2008, then I question just how much you mean to humanity, sir.
-AC
Originally posted by DigiMark007
wootNo, don't worry. 😊
tinkabear
...damnit, you're right. No one else here can do that. I had no idea my niche was so important.
Though to answer the question, I loathe the filthy mutie bastards and was never an FF buff. That's one comic topic I'm actually probably not qualified to answer.
😮
Oh...I know that answer already (Colossus, dude, Colossus.)...Just pointing out that IF I needed to know, you'd be able to answer it.
Originally posted by Alpha Centauri
If you don't know the strength difference between Colossus and The Thing by now, in 2008, then I question just how much you mean to humanity, sir.-AC
🙁...
but but but....I spent much more time on boobs*, when I was a lad, than I did comic books. Please forgive me if only for boob's sake. 🙁
*MOTOR BOAT!!!!!droolio
Originally posted by Alpha Centauri
If you don't know the strength difference between Colossus and The Thing by now, in 2008, then I question just how much you mean to humanity, sir.-AC
Truth.
😐
[derailment]I mean, if you don't know that Colossus >>>>> Thing in every conceivable way, what good are you?[/derailment]
313
Originally posted by dadudemon
Oh...I know that answer already (Colossus, dude, Colossus.).
Figured. But I wasn't sure. Like I said, not my area.
Originally posted by DigiMark007
😂Sorry, but I smiled a bit. Obviously saying something like that and actually doing it are two different things, and I'm of the mind that if one realizes that it's very wrong and doesn't legitimately consider it, it's not actually reprehensible.
Besides, she wasn't vindictive about it. Just naively close-minded. It's a fair chance that she's never actually been exposed to ideas so far out of her worldview. It speaks to the insular nature of our society as it pertains to religious communities and beliefs, but not to personal evil. I was frustrated but not angry.
But she ate your pizza before she broke up with you.
Originally posted by Robtard
But she ate your pizza before she broke up with you.
Yeah, that part kinda pissed me off.
Digi, was the breakup (on her part of course) premeditated? I was reading earlier in this thread...and it seemed like you had a discussion that lead to one thing or another and she called the relationship off. I just glanced over your post...so I apologize if I am asking a question that there is already an answer to.
Originally posted by Robtard
But she ate your pizza before she broke up with you.
Oh right. Forgot about that.
😠
Originally posted by dadudemon
Yeah, that part kinda pissed me off.Digi, was the breakup (on her part of course) premeditated? I was reading earlier in this thread...and it seemed like you had a discussion that lead to one thing or another and she called the relationship off. I just glanced over your post...so I apologize if I am asking a question that there is already an answer to.
It was obvious that it was fairly premeditated. She initiated the convo with the intent of ending it. It wasn't a gradual build-up but mroe of a pronouncement. The pizza's honestly irrelevant, though it's indicative of the larger issue of the time and money that I didn't need to waste since I was forthright about my beliefs from the beginning with her. The weird thing is, we had some awesome dates. She was a fairly cool girl otherwise. But if it bugged her that much (quite a bit), she had to have known from the beginning.
So meh. I don't hold grudges. It sucks, obviously, mostly because it's a microcosm of the uphill battle I face in dating because of religion. But I don't let it bother me for long...I vented, I moved on. And the girl was pretty decent otherwise. Hell, we're still facebook friends ( srug ).
....
On a semi-related note, I found a "free thinkers" dating site. My friend (also atheist) thought of making one when I related this story to him and he figured we could start one and make millions. Alas. I'm not going to use it (not nearly enough members on the site to justify it, especially outside of major cities)....but it's fun to read through some of the profiles. Reading through a lot of them, you can feel the same sense of vague frustration from them....especially when, say, they live in maybe the deep South.
Originally posted by DigiMark007On a semi-related note, I found a "free thinkers" dating site. My friend (also atheist) thought of making one when I related this story to him and he figured we could start one and make millions. Alas. I'm not going to use it (not nearly enough members on the site to justify it, especially outside of major cities)....but it's fun to read through some of the profiles. Reading through a lot of them, you can feel the same sense of vague frustration from them....especially when, say, they live in maybe the deep South.
I meant to reply to stuff you said way earlier than just now because I felt that it really resonated with me and my recent situations.
Being a black man in the South, if you are not Christian then you are pretty much not dating any black woman seriously.
If I tell them I'm not Christian, that's easily 80% of them gone (although this would include women who told me that Moses took the Christians out of Egypt...). Ok, so 20 % left - don't want a "I'll take it from anyone with money" **** (take out another 60 % of the remaining 20%), don't want someone lacking common sense (getting sad now), and if I don't lower my standards them I'm basically ****ed. If I include women of other races, it looks better until we go back to comparing proportions (I mention dating within race because, in the South, it's a big deal. I used to take it seriously but there's no secular argument for it so I don't bother anymore. Just listed it this way to give a simple way to understand the demographic.)
Funny enough, I just started dating a woman who is half Filipina, half black and she is a complete package beyond the scars and paranoia we all bring from previous relationships (just to note, she is trying to figure out what she believes like I am attempting to do for myself). It's possible I've gotten incredibly lucky but it's far too early to say for certain.
Originally posted by chithappens
I meant to reply to stuff you said way earlier than just now because I felt that it really resonated with me and my recent situations.Being a black man in the South, if you are not Christian then you are pretty much not dating any black woman seriously.
If I tell them I'm not Christian, that's easily 80% of them gone (although this would include women who told me that Moses took the Christians out of Egypt...). Ok, so 20 % left - don't want a "I'll take it from anyone with money" **** (take out another 60 % of the remaining 20%), don't want someone lacking common sense (getting sad now), and if I don't lower my standards them I'm basically ****ed. If I include women of other races, it looks better until we go back to comparing proportions (I mention dating within race because, in the South, it's a big deal. I used to take it seriously but there's no secular argument for it so I don't bother anymore. Just listed it this way to give a simple way to understand the demographic.)
Funny enough, I just started dating a woman who is half Filipina, half black and she is a complete package beyond the scars and paranoia we all bring from previous relationships (just to note, she is trying to figure out what she believes like I am attempting to do for myself). It's possible I've gotten incredibly lucky but it's far too early to say for certain.
Well then congrats and good luck with the current girl.
I'd imagine it's harder in the south, where percentages of Christians are even higher. Your 80% might be a cautious estimate in many areas. Personally, I'm a happy enough guy who doesn't need to be with someone to feel fulfilled, but at the same time dating (with the potential for more) is something I enjoy.
I can handle different beliefs (to a point), but I'd obviously prefer someone relatively close to my ideologies. And similar to you, also someone I can talk with. I don't care if we can talk about all the same topics, but I also want to know I can mention...let's use existentialism as an example...mention that and not have her eyes glaze over. Or any topic that potentially interests me.
They do exist. Statistically speaking, there's literally hundreds (likely thousands) of people for any of us that would make pretty ideal matches/mates. They just aren't easy to find, especially for the free thinkers, agnostics, skeptics, and/or atheists of the world. Honestly, atheists would be hard pressed to find a smaller minority among religious/political/philosophical opinions. Somewhere around 4% in the US, if memory serves. More if you include other monikers like non-religious and agnostic.
To that end, living in or around a city sometime in the future is starting to seem like a favorable possibility. Beyond the (I'm assuming) slightly higher percentage of non-religious people in cities than in rural areas, there's more total people in a concentrated area. Much easier.
Originally posted by DigiMark007
Well then congrats and good luck with the current girl.I'd imagine it's harder in the south, where percentages of Christians are even higher. Your 80% might be a cautious estimate in many areas. Personally, I'm a happy enough guy who doesn't need to be with someone to feel fulfilled, but at the same time dating (with the potential for more) is something I enjoy.
I can handle different beliefs (to a point), but I'd obviously prefer someone relatively close to my ideologies. And similar to you, also someone I can talk with. I don't care if we can talk about all the same topics, but I also want to know I can mention...let's use existentialism as an example...mention that and not have her eyes glaze over. Or any topic that potentially interests me.
They do exist. Statistically speaking, there's literally hundreds (likely thousands) of people for any of us that would make pretty ideal matches/mates. They just aren't easy to find, especially for the free thinkers, agnostics, skeptics, and/or atheists of the world. Honestly, atheists would be hard pressed to find a smaller minority among religious/political/philosophical opinions. Somewhere around 4% in the US, if memory serves. More if you include other monikers like non-religious and agnostic.
To that end, living in or around a city sometime in the future is starting to seem like a favorable possibility. Beyond the (I'm assuming) slightly higher percentage of non-religious people in cities than in rural areas, there's more total people in a concentrated area. Much easier.
Yes, 80 % was a catious estimate because I did not want to offend other Southerners.
Like yourself, I can't someone who can not back up what they say. I can allow faith-based beliefs to slide if they know what they are talking about, but when she starts talking about her aunt dying and "gaining her wings as she looks down on you from heaven", I realize that she has never read anything from the book at all. If you know your stuff, that's one thing, but just being a "yes" person is unacceptable for someone I would find romantically compatiable with me.
So yeah, pigs do fly. The girl I just hooked up with (but I've known for near two years, just not in this capacity) is witty, very beautiful, mindful of how she carries herself, and so on. I met her on a college campus which makes the numbers seem to dwindle even more, but I'm a fortunate guy. I have high hopes with this one. There's no formula to it. Just have to be around. No tidbits on luck or "how to" booklet can help men like us.