Don't bottle up your emotions, if i am ever blessed to be a parent. I wish i would not restrict my kid from being their true self. I;m bothered by some of my gf sisters. They're anti-gay, i remember recommending Nimona to my niece, she said it's bad cause there's a gay relationship in it, and Mel (the mother), she's already heard my challenges of the issue to be fair. But not to be fair she still doesn't accept them!
And my sister is having a hard time with her daughter. She seems to be like super ADHD or wtv, Yells and screams and demands what she wants. i hung out with her on Friday. Yeah she's a lot. I think she might need to spend more time with me, cause i'm cool and level headed and says it how it is. I don't shit on her, but call her out on what shes doing, i think there's a fine line there. Again it probably comes across differently when its not your parent tho right. SO ...
I didn't get any assurances from my mother, got no assurances from my father. Go do a lie detector... oh inconclusive... at first my mother told me she believed me, she felt bad cause it was someone in the kids family who's getting away with it and the finger's been pointed. I was 18. Still living at home. She worked fot the YMCA, told my mom she cant's re-open a daycare if i'm still living there. She wouldn't kick out her own son she said.... She should have, they had money, they had money to help at least and grow up like, it was so do-able. you did it for my sister. But what? You wanted it to be my decision? Make it yous with some insentive to help or wtv. But, we were all left alone, my mother, me, my dad... living in this limbo (and in my mind thinking what their thinking, did he?). My father never talked to me. My mother, after while of being out of work and me living in their basement, would come downstair drunbk and tell me "she doesn;t know" "no ojne knows". Which i replied **** off
She then shared this info with my sister and her than fiance/husband, and of course he/she def hated me for it// My sis and i's relationship were already sour tbf. She would constantly shit on me, calling me a leach and whatnot.. Cynthia, when we started dating, she ****ing spit shit right back at her.
back to that pedophilia thingy, my mother told cynthia about it when we first started dating. She has like 10 nieces and nephews so she had to "watch" me for a good while. I hoped a niece of my leg when she was four, i played with the ****nig kids cause thats what they wanted but my mother made cynthia "watch" me. she only admitted this like years after, but like, how am i supposed to feel about my mother after hearing that?
cynthia is my light. suzie is my sister! (she's my cousin). she never told me this first hand, but to cynthia. cause a lot of my family i dont talk to cause im really not a talker, some ppl use cynthia as middleman, but suzie. She communicated he truth though her to me. And when Cynthia told me that Suzie was 100% behind, denies any accusations, hated my mother for any denial in the matter. She's just my #1 Suzie. And doesn't know that from me yet, but what she's done/did for me, i will always love her. She calles us ****ed up, we are.
She knows i don't ask for anything, i don't ask for things, but she knows, i've had a couple of breakdowns. We're the same, kinda, , not really though cause she was stuck in the company all her life. I had the privilege of only being responsible the last 4 years. And it's dreadful, toxic. My sister finally left... also doesn't help when my fathers new gf is moving in.. yeah he lives at work so now she does to
oh the no asking for things thing, is therapy, they offered to pay etc. My dad is prone to wait for someone to ask, which i do not, when suzie knows me, and i don't ask, so she set up funds for me to go through with therapy. She knows i need it cause she was ****ed up when i am right now, and it took her years she said. The thing is my dad also said he also did therapy, why you gotta wait til i feel bad about doing it though, idk that's just my take from my father. He wants me to show vulnerability, he wants something from me and idk what it is. He want me to be his "son". His new gf is super family oriented, so he spends so much time with her family and it's not like he can avoid it..
i want my dad to be happy, like i get it from my pov, cynthi'as family is mine. one that i was accepted in, one that i love and loves me. nieces and nephews are all so ****ing groovy. But this is the family i accepted.
It's not the same when your father wants to force you into his gf;s family oriented family when you would never go to any family event on my mothers side, xmas, anything, my mother had to hide her drinking from yoiu. Respected your sobriety and went to her mothers every thursday for a night out... TO a point where even told me to respect the no alcohol rule, which obviously i didn't. I'm alone in the basement doing my own thing wtf do you have to do with my time!
but now new gf could flaunt her drinks in your face, has a bar in your room, her kids can drink in front of you with zero judgement. It's sad, and i know, you love this family more. You're taking Amanda out of your life and your true granddaughter Julietta. You used to be there, in your way, even though that way kinda sucked. SHE should have made you see that, as she makes you see with her family. It's harder for us I know, cause it's a fresh start with them. But you're our maker, our we your disappointment? are we your failure?