Originally posted by RobtardYeah, that's part of what I meant, I find it hard to separate it.
Considering the concept of marriage/being faithful/staying together is heavily entrenched with religious ideals, Bardick42 does have a point, just saying.You can ignore the religious aspect and your thread still works, though.
Thank you for explaining it better, Robturd, my friend.
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Well, I understand that you want to leave parts of religion out it, but since you want the opinion of people they can have religious reasons for their opinions and want to explain then to them, or others might think that infidelity is somewhat influenced by religious beliefs.
But what exactly do you mean with "leave religion out of it" anyways?
Originally posted by Bardock42
I disagree, the religious views people have, or also the ones the children of them have, do all play part in how it affects their children, it might even play part in why people cheat and it relates to other points raised in this thread.I agree that the metaphysical aspects of religion are definitely not too important of here but the sociological and psychological impacts of it seem to be at least part of what you mean to discuss, no?
Why don't you read the post you quoted again, I think that answers the question.
You quoted my post saying ''I think religion plays a part in it''.
My post clearly states that there should be no religious discussion since I propose 'social' discussion.
Then after my post you went on to say that actually, here religion is not important because I want to talk about sociological impacts.
So I really don't know the point of bringing that to light at all, since the post never implied separation of religion, but asked that religion is kept out of sociological impact.
So you're either trolling me, or you just wanted to reply with something for the sake of replying.
Originally posted by lil bitchiness
Great, my post has disappeared.
I still have it:
Which religious beliefs? Marriage existed way before any major religions today as an institution and practice, and even in European history, marriage was a business agreement between two families and nothing to do with religion, but wealth.Just because religions has an opinion about it, does not make it a religious issue, nor does the religion own the issue. Unless, as I stated, you make it one.
Marriage existed long before religion, and religion INCORPORATED marriage into itself, not other way around.
And considering that my questions about why people cheat, how it affects children, should we keep marriage as an institution and is it important at all, have NOTHING to do with religion, but social circumstances, financial circumstances...etc.
Please do answer the questions in the original post - should people cheat and why they cheat are two different issues.
Should people stay together and why they stay together are also two different issues.
Originally posted by lil bitchiness
Why don't you read the post you quoted again, I think that answers the question.You quoted my post saying ''I think religion plays a part in it''.
My post clearly states that there should be no religious discussion since I propose 'social' discussion.
Then after my post you went on to say that actually, here religion is not important because I want to talk about sociological impacts.
So I really don't know the point of bringing that to light at all, since the post never implied separation of religion, but asked that religion is kept out of sociological impact.
So you're either trolling me, or you just wanted to reply with something for the sake of replying.
Yeah, but I don't understand that. Religion is obviously a part of the sociological discussion of the topic, it is perhaps not the main focus, nor are all the religious aspects important, but do you think you can really just separate it in this discussion?
Originally posted by WickedDynamiteYes, I know that. I am not saying that all marriage is religious. I just mean that reasons for cheating, as well as against, as well as the consequences can be strongly influenced by religious beliefs.
Marriage and religion can be separated. Using a streching example would governments that don't recognize religion such as a China or back in the USSR.
Originally posted by King Kandy
If you're careful, that's a good suggestion.
careful that the woman don't find out 😛
Originally posted by Symmetric Chaos
Doesn't that sort of assume that all people really want to be polyamorous?Joking aside, the existence of jealousy and evidence that women's brain chemistry changes after having children suggests that universal polyamory just wouldn't be very stable in the long term without massive leaps in medical science.
lol, damn literalists
there are lots of biological and social reasons why lots of people probably wouldn't pick polyamoury.
Originally posted by lil bitchiness
I was reading some studies in connection with social change in our society and one of those included marriage and infidelity.Interestingly, while men are typically attributed to cheating in marriages, women, while still lagging, are quite near in numbers of those who have had an affair or a lover.
What are your thoughts on infidelity of men and women in marriage institutions?
What do you think causes people in committed relationships to have an affair?Have you been in such situation? How, if at all, do you think it affects children?
Or if you were a child of a parent who was having an affair has it affected you at all and if so, how?Is affair better option than divorce? Has the marriage in modern society mutated? Should 'sanctity of marriage' be kept and how is it important if at all?
Please do not bring religion into this - this is purely a discussion of a social phenomenon.
The Bible says... nah I've never read that thing...
Infidelity in my side of the world if you are a man is a must, the more women you have, the more man you are... and if you have an extramarital relationship you are nothing less than a god.
If you are a woman you're socially pointed as a whore... but truth is whether you're taking revenge on your husband/boyfriend/wtv or you have serious and real issues... and yeah why not? you can also enjoy sex so much that you can't be satisfied with one man.
I see infidelity affecting children in any possible way, like developing a general hate for the opposite sex, for infidelity, for marriage... I know a girl who's mom was her dad's lover and she's perfectly fine, well she mustn't but apparently has no serious issues on marriage or men or social interaction... her brother on the other hand hates both mom and dad for making him live that situation... he's on drugs, has no job... the guy is lost. Which makes me wonder why 2 ppl with the same genes are affected so differently by the same situation?
An affair is only better than divorce if and only if you can live with it, otherwise you'll only be torturing yourself along with the ones you love making marriage and your life a living hell which will be undoubtedly reflected in society.
Marriage is changing slowly I think, as it should, for the best I hope. I think it's 'sanctity' should be kept, no matter what, after all is a social contract, why taking it if you're not to respect it? That would be dumb. But that's my personal opinion, it's social importance might rely on how trusted or how truth could you be, in any field. For example, right now in my country, every politician in every party is being questioned on this matter. It is obvious we can't expect them to respect our rights, demands and so on if they can't respect the simple social contract that marriage is.
Originally posted by Bardock42
Yeah, but I don't understand that. Religion is obviously a part of the sociological discussion of the topic, it is perhaps not the main focus, nor are all the religious aspects important, but do you think you can really just separate it in this discussion?
Yes. Just like Paola has done.
Originally posted by Paola
The Bible says... nah I've never read that thing...Infidelity in my side of the world if you are a man is a must, the more women you have, the more man you are... and if you have an extramarital relationship you are nothing less than a god.
If you are a woman you're socially pointed as a whore... but truth is whether you're taking revenge on your husband/boyfriend/wtv or you have serious and real issues... and yeah why not? you can also enjoy sex so much that you can't be satisfied with one man.
I see infidelity affecting children in any possible way, like developing a general hate for the opposite sex, for infidelity, for marriage... I know a girl who's mom was her dad's lover and she's perfectly fine, well she mustn't but apparently has no serious issues on marriage or men or social interaction... her brother on the other hand hates both mom and dad for making him live that situation... he's on drugs, has no job... the guy is lost. Which makes me wonder why 2 ppl with the same genes are affected so differently by the same situation?
An affair is only better than divorce if and only if you can live with it, otherwise you'll only be torturing yourself along with the ones you love making marriage and your life a living hell which will be undoubtedly reflected in society.
Marriage is changing slowly I think, as it should, for the best I hope. I think it's 'sanctity' should be kept, no matter what, after all is a social contract, why taking it if you're not to respect it? That would be dumb. But that's my personal opinion, it's social importance might rely on how trusted or how truth could you be, in any field. For example, right now in my country, every politician in every party is being questioned on this matter. It is obvious we can't expect them to respect our rights, demands and so on if they can't respect the simple social contract that marriage is.
Thanks Paola, that's an excellent insight!
I do have a further question. Do you think the social conscience of your country affects cheating rates, or is it more socially acceptable to cheat?
Men from your country, as I understand, sometimes have a negative stereotypes about cheating attached to them (and men from few other countries around, if you know what I mean).
Do you find that people are more talking about cheating nowadays, and thus it is more visible?
Do you think it varies from culture to culture or do you think that the only thing that varies is the social acceptance, but cheating is more or less (behind closed doors) on the similar level everywhere?
If you are having urges to cheat or stray, confront your loved one and tell them this.
Tell them that the honesty came first and that you either want to work things out so that you no longer wish to stray, or end it and THEN find someone else.
I'd say that's ideal, but ultimately some things don't work out ideally and you do what you can. Not all cheating is malicious, it can suck, but it can also be a get-out clause. Too many variables and there are ways to avoid it. Way too many variables though.
As for what Paola said; marriage has no sanctity. Marriage isn't a special ceremony anymore, if it ever was. It's one of the most outdated practices in the modern world. Unless there's a specific reason or personal preference, don't do it. It's certainly not NEEDED.
-AC
Very generally speaking...
Despite what Madison Ave says, life is not a party where everyone can be a celebrity. Our expectations have become increasingly unrealistic. Marriage requires sacrifice to work, putting the other person first, not always yourself. Affairs often address disappointments grounded in fantasy.
Originally posted by Alpha Centauri
If you are having urges to cheat or stray, confront your loved one and tell them this.Tell them that the honesty came first and that you either want to work things out so that you no longer wish to stray, or end it and THEN find someone else.
I'd say that's ideal, but ultimately some things don't work out ideally and you do what you can. Not all cheating is malicious, it can suck, but it can also be a get-out clause. Too many variables and there are ways to avoid it. Way too many variables though.
As for what Paola said; marriage has no sanctity. Marriage isn't a special ceremony anymore, if it ever was. It's one of the most outdated practices in the modern world. Unless there's a specific reason or personal preference, don't do it. It's certainly not NEEDED.
-AC
it has sanctity to some people.
I think the legal definition of marriage should be abolished. Nobody should be able to legally marry.
If someone wants to consider themself married, fine. If they want their religion to view them as married then that's good too.
But the legal system shouldn't get involved here at all.
And as for why people stray, I think deep down it has to do with evolutional/reproductive reasons. one might THINK they are doing it for emotional fufillment, but in the end sex is all about reproduction. The more sex partners a man has the more offspring he can potentially produce. The more a woman has the better chance she can find a mate with superior genes.
Originally posted by inimalist
careful that the woman don't find out 😛
Cheating is bad because it is a violation of trust. But if both parties are okay with it, then extra-marital sex is completely fine. Dissociating sex from marriage will allow people to see beyond their simple urges and understand each other on a deeper level.