Things Videogame Characters Will Never Say

I thought it'd be interesting to make a thread to post random things characters (from videogames of course) would never say.

For example:
Wesker: Haha Chris, I have beaten you to it.

Chris: Beaten me at what?

Wesker: At getting a girl first. I just went online and ordered an Asian bride and she will be arriving in 2004. I even have this marriage certificate here.

Chris: Uh Wesker, have you even read this? It says that your "Asian bride" is nothing but a spy who will serve you but won't have any intimate romantic relationships with you at all and this isn't even a marriage certificate, it's a contract. Got hit in the head with a couple rockets or something?

Wesker: You're one to talk. At least I didn't order what I thought were adrenaline shots.

Chris: And I regret it still...

Without starting a whole goddamn fanfic:

Mario: "This b*tch again?!"

Upon coming across toad.... Yet again...

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Samus: "This can't be good for my spine..."

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Luigi: "Ahaha, soon he will drink from the special drink I made for him and then I'll be the greatest plumber who doesn't do a single ounce of plumbing, mwahaha!"

Pours Mario a drink

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Sonic: "Doesn't anyone like me anymore, look! I can do this!"

As he pretends to ski.

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Batman: "It's about goddamn time I got it right..."

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Starfox: "One more barral-roll joke, just one more, and I make the uni-bomber look like Mother Teresa."

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Portal: "Some of you guys don't even know what I am."

Marcus: Dom, there's something I've been meaning to tell you.

Dom: You don't need to, I already know.

Marcus: It's not about needing to, I've fallen for you Dom.

Dom: Oh Marcus, I love you!

<And I can't fight this feeling anymore..... I forgotten what I started fighting for... >

i've never heard a white guy say the "n" word in a video game.

Ryu: Kamehameha!

Gordon Freeman: (insert any phrase here)

Kratos: Can't we just talk about this?

Link: Why am I getting the feeling I done this before?

Kazuya: Can't we all just get along and not fight all the time! God!

*Eleanor is about to stick the ADAM-absorbing needle into Delta*

Delta: Whoa whoa whoa! What do you think you're doing? I just went through an underwater nightmare saving your ass and you attempt to kill me off for no reason?! You backstabbing witch!

Eleanor: I was just trying to make you suffer no longer father.

Delta: What suffering? I was friggin exhausted having to catch up to you guys before the sub launched! As your Daddy, prepare to get smacked.

Frank West: I've never covered a war y'know.

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Jack: You killed my father!

Ryan: No Jack, I am your father!

Jack: NO!

Ryan: Join me and we shall rule Rapture together as father and son!

Sora: Okay guys... how about we not interfere with this world?

(Leon discovers that Ashley has been kidnapped...agian)

Leon: Geez...who does she think she is? Princess Peach?

Gaia: Okay, so betraying Kratos was probably not a smart idea.

All the other Titans: Ya think?

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Master Chief: You almost drove us off the cliff you retard!
Marine: Sorry Chief, I'm doing my best.
MC: Who made him driver?
Marine #2: I did sir. He's my brother.
MC: Who is he?
Johnson: He's a Dumbass.
MC: I know he is but what's his name?
Johnson: That is his name. Dumbass, Major Dumbass.
MC: And his brother?
Johnson: Private Dumbass.
MC: How many Dumbasses do we have anyways?
All the marines on the battlefield: Yo!
MC: I don't believe it. I'm surrounded by Dumbasses. Keep driving, Dumbass!

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Chris: Sheva, use the grenade!

Sheva: How do I use it?

Chris: *sigh* The BSAA doesn't pay me enough for this.

Ryu: "I give up." Or anything close to that.

ok, this just reminds me of the metal gear solid "book" (do NOT ready). Whoever wrote it needs to be shot, awful AWFUL book, and he got snakes character all wrong. but there is a scene when he is making his way to the elevator, where he jumped out in front of a genome soldier, and said "Merry Christmas!" and hit him or something, snake would never say that, unless it was actually christmas, and even then, probably not. needless to say i stopped reading after that.

sorry, it just reminded me, and i had to rant.

Originally posted by FistOfThe North
i've never heard a white guy say the "n" word in a video game.

Mafia 2? I'm not sure, but i think so...

Kratos - Eww, blood!!
😛

Blue: See ya later.

Or....

Ventus/Terra/Aqua: That was a happy ending to our adventure.