Thor (unarmed) Vs. A whole lot of Spiders

Thor gets really, really, really drunk on a night out with Tony Stark (he's had 700 f*ckin' Jager Bombs, and 200 bottles of Jagermeister) and, in a Ben Roethlisberger-esque manner, winds up in a bathroom with Mary Jane and Gwen Stacy and tries to force himself on them. Spider-man is at the same bar having a reunion with some of the spider themed members of his supporting cast and rogues gallery and goes to use the bathroom after having a few drinks. As he approaches the door his Spider sense goes off and he can hear the sound of muffled screams and cries. He opens the door to find Thor, in his drunken, semi maddened state, holding Gwen and Mary Jane by the hair and forcing them to perform fellatio on him as they are attempting to scream for help (but can't because Thor keeps filling their mouths). Peter shoots webbing onto Gwen and Mary Jane and pulls them away from Thor. Thor reaches for Mjolnir but, due to his actions, he has been deemed unworthy of holding the hammer by Odin's enchantment. Thor, even more enraged now, then pulls up his pants and pushes Spider-Man forcefully through the bathroom door, sending him flying across the room and into the bar, shattering many glasses and bottles of alcohol. Venom and Toxin's spider senses go off as well, and the assemblage notice the commotion. They see Thor storm out of the bathroom and about to assault Spider-Man. Venom and Co. decide to jump Thor for being a dirty bastard.

Thor says "Have at thee, villains!!"

Thor (without Mjolnir, but with a bottle of Jagermeister in hand, drunk as sh*t, and in a semi-maddened state)

Vs.

Spider-man
Venom (Brock)
Carnage
Toxin
The Doppelganger
Black Tarantula
Tarantula
Scarlet Spider
Ezekiel
Kaine
Anti-Venom
Spidercide
Thousand

Battle takes place in a crowded Elephant Bar on a Friday night.

Discuss.

I see a lot of crushed spiders under Thor's boots when his rage meter reaches critical, and he unleashes the Warrior madness. If not, he dies.

They will wish Thor wouldn't have pulled his pants up.

Originally posted by illadelph12
Thor gets really, really, really drunk on a night out with Tony Stark (he's had 700 f*ckin' Jager Bombs, and 200 bottles of Jagermeister) and, in a Ben Roethlisberger-esque manner, winds up in a bathroom with Mary Jane and Gwen Stacy and tries to force himself on them. Spider-man is at the same bar having a reunion with some of the spider themed members of his supporting cast and rogues gallery and goes to use the bathroom after having a few drinks. As he approaches the door his Spider sense goes off and he can hear the sound of muffled screams and cries. He opens the door to find Thor, in his drunken, semi maddened state, holding Gwen and Mary Jane by the hair and forcing them to perform fellatio on him as they are attempting to scream for help (but can't because Thor keeps filling their mouths). Peter shoots webbing onto Gwen and Mary Jane and pulls them away from Thor. Thor reaches for Mjolnir but, due to his actions, he has been deemed unworthy of holding the hammer by Odin's enchantment. Thor, even more enraged now, then pulls up his pants and pushes Spider-Man forcefully through the bathroom door, sending him flying across the room and into the bar, shattering many glasses and bottles of alcohol. Venom and Toxin's spider senses go off as well, and the assemblage notice the commotion. They see Thor storm out of the bathroom and about to assault Spider-Man. Venom and Co. decide to jump Thor for being a dirty bastard.

Thor says "Have at thee, villains!!"

Thor (without Mjolnir, but with a bottle of Jagermeister in hand, drunk as sh*t, and in a semi-maddened state)

Vs.

Spider-man
Venom (Brock)
Carnage
Toxin
The Doppelganger
Black Tarantula
Tarantula
Scarlet Spider
Ezekiel
Kaine
Anti-Venom
Spidercide
Thousand

Battle takes place in a crowded Elephant Bar on a Friday night.

Discuss.

Elephant Bar?

Elephant Bar is a chain of restaurant/bars, kinda like TGI Fridays, Outback Steakhouse, or Chili's. It's a popular place for dates and outings. Good drinks and happy hour.

Thor gets really, really, really drunk

I got that far. 😬

Spiders win.

Spider-Man alone would give a drunken Thor for his money. Add the others Spiders into the equation, and you get one beatup asgardian.

---

btw, I figured Spiderman's reaction upon seeing Thor naked would be laughter followed by, "Now I see why you carry that big hammer of yours around all the time, 'big' fella!"

Who is Thousand supposed to be?

Thor still has access to his other powers without his hammer. Since hes drunk, he's say fck it and use them.

Originally posted by Starscream M
Spiders win.

Spider-Man alone would give a drunken Thor for his money. Add the others Spiders into the equation, and you get one beatup asgardian.

Originally posted by Starscream M
btw, I figured Spiderman's reaction upon seeing Thor naked would be laughter followed by, "Now I see why you carry that big hammer of yours around all the time, 'big' fella!"

Originally posted by Parmaniac
Who is Thousand supposed to be?

He's a villain similar to Swarm, but made out of spiders.

this would be like Neo vs. all the Smith clones in the Reloaded. The Spiders would pile on top of Thor, he'd flex and the spider's would go flying. He'd choke the life outta them one by one.

This could also be a stalemate because without Mjolnir, i don't think Thor can put down Venom/Carnage.

Originally posted by marwash22
this would be like Neo vs. all the Smith clones in the Reloaded. The Spiders would pile on top of Thor, he'd flex and the spider's would go flying. He'd choke the life outta them one by one.

This could also be a stalemate because without Mjolnir, i don't think Thor can put down Venom/Carnage.

You're wrong. the Spiders would overwhelm thor and overtake him.

Thor wrecks them

Originally posted by Starscream M
You're wrong. the Spiders would overwhelm thor and overtake him.

Originally posted by marwash22
how?

the symbiotes can cut him with their tendrils, the others could smash his head with various objects, etc...eventually he will fall

Originally posted by Starscream M
they are gonna be able to avoid most of what thor throws at them...remember he's wasted

the symbiotes can cut him with their tendrils, the others could smash his head with various objects, etc...eventually he will fall

you're acting like being drunk takes away his powers. 😬

Originally posted by marwash22
no.

you're acting like being drunk takes away his powers. 😬

too, he's drunk...so he's even more likely to straight out brawl than resort to his fancier powers

Originally posted by Starscream M
he doesn't use his more fancy powers anyways

too, he's drunk...so he's even more likely to straight out brawl than resort to his fancier powers

You think the blades of a sub-class 70's are gonna hurt him?

You think his stamina is somehow lessened because he's drunk?

You think his HF won't remove him from his drunken state after a few minutes?

I say that since hes drunk hes going to use his other powers without his hammer and just say fck it.