Originally posted by jinXed by JaNx
You must have no interest in science fiction then. if you took nothing away from the film. Let me guess, though. ..,you think Transformers is a badass movie...,am i right? lol hard to understand? 😂
i love sci-fi movies, however i was excpecting a little better acting, and at least some suspence, the visual effects were good but that dosent make a movie. as i said to each his own. and yes i loved the transformers =)
Originally posted by zeel
[B]
absolutly the worst movie i ever saw.No suspense.
film was very hard to understand.
couldnt relate to any of the characters whatso ever.
not scary at all. Very dissapointed in this movie i saw it friday night and my buddy that went to the movie with me fell asleep. this was as bad as the Thing prequel, i fear it is going to tank just like the thing did. This didnt remind me at all of alien, or aliens at all.
i love sci-fi movies, however i was excpecting a little better acting, and at least some suspence, the visual effects were good but that dosent make a movie.
This described Transformers to a tee.
Overall, I was entertained by the movie. The CGI was fantastic, the choreography was good, and the acting was on the whole very good (as noted, Fassbender killed it, and the main girl was good, the gelogist Scottsman's crass attitude felt a bit forced and melodramatic though). However, this film ultimately gets a thumbs down from me, because the writing in it is, frankly, retarded. As entertaining as the film was, there were a lot of scenes that were genuinely frusterating for me to watch, mainly due to how many plot holes there were, and how stupid the characters were. I swear to God, the idiot ball was in full rotation during this film. To summarize how the plot looked to me:
Spoiler:CHARLIZE THERON: Welcome to the team, SCOTTISH WOMAN #1 AND DAVID BECKHAM. I hate everyone here, but I hate you two most of all.
SCOTTISH WOMAN #1: Why?
CHARLIZE THERON: No real reason, other than the fact that I'm perpetually in *****-mode, and I haven't had my daily black cock'ing.
SCOTTISH WOMAN #1: What?
CHARLIZE THERON: Black coffee. I said, I haven't had my daily black coffee.
SCOTTISH WOMAN #1: Oh.
- - - - - -
SCOTTISH WOMAN #1: What's with the flamethrower?
BULK: Security.It's to save our asses if aliens try to kill us all.
SCOTTISH WOMAN: Aren't you a pussy geologist?
BULK: Not until the plot needs me to be. For now I'm a badass, foul-mouthed, flame-thrower wielding mohawk-man.
SCOTTISH WOMAN #1: Oh.
- - - - - -
IDRIS ELBA: I can see everything you guys see through your HUDS.
BULK: And with these puppies, and by puppies I mean floating sonar balls, we can map-out every inch of this labrynthe and create a fully detailed 3-D diagram!
IDRIS ELBA: And I can track you guys' positions on this diagram via your suits GPS, and I can update you guys on what's going on via radio!
SKULL: So what you're saying is, between the sophisticated 3-D diagram, the live-feed on our helmets, and our radios, none of us will ever get lost or hopelessly turned around in here?
BULK: Exactly.
- - - - - -
IDRIS ELBA: Hey guys, do you know where BULK AND SKULL are?
SCOTTISH WOMAN #1: You tell us, ****er. You're the one with the live-feed and the radio and the sophisticated 3-D diagram that shows exactly where everyone is located.
IDRIS ELBA: Oh right, forgot about that.
- - - - - -
SKULL: Hey Bulk, I think we've been here before.
BULK: Yeah, it all looks the same to me.
SKULL: Maybe we should use our radios to ask IDRIS ELBA for directions, since he's got the sophisticated 3-D diagram and everything.
BULK: Good idea. Or maybe, we can just wander around aimlessly until we stumble upon something that will kill us.
SKULL: Let's go with option B.
- - - - - -
CHARLIZE THERON: What's with the shitty Steve Urkle instrument?
IDRIS ELBA: Sitting around playing shitty instruments is a black-person thing. Ridley Scott wants the audience to know that I've got soul.
CHARLIZE THERON: I hate everyone here, but I hate you the most, Idris Elba.
IDRIS ELBA: No you don't, you soulless robotIc whore.
CHARLIZE THERON: God, I love it when you insult me. Let's ****.
- - - - - - -
SKULL: Hey BULK, look, it's a giant alien tapeworm. I want to pet it!
BULK: That doesn't sound like a good idea, SKULL. It was established twenty minutes ago that seeing a dead alien body is enough to make us pussy out and run away. Suddenly being deeply interested in a live alien would break plot consistency.
SKULL: Awwww, but it's so cute and cuddly. It won't hurt us, will you, you cute little alien yo- HURRRRR! HUURRRRR! IT'S BREAKING MY ARM **** GEEZE GOD.
BULK: IT'S SPLASHING MY FACE HUURRRRRR.
SKULL: IT'S THRUSTING IN AND OUT OF MY MOUTH HUURRRRR.
BULK: MY EYES. THE HELMET. IT DOES NOTHING.
SKULL: WE'RE BEING KILLED BY ALIENS. WHO COULD HAVE POSSIBLY PREDICTED THIS?
- - - - - - -
CHARLIZE THERON: God damn it Michael. I hate everyone here, but I hate you most of all. What did he say?!
MICHAEL FASSBENDER: He said, "try harder".
CHARLIZE THERON: Ah, perfect. Just vague and cryptic enough to fool the audience into thinking we have a decent sub-plot going on here.
- - - - - - -
DAVID BECKHAM: I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean to make you cry. Here, use my penis to wipe your tears.
SCOTTISH WOMAN #1: *sniff* I love it when you insult me.
DAVID BECKHAM: Yeah, I learned that trick from Idris Elba.
SCOTTISH WOMAN #1: What?
DAVID BECKHAM: What?
- - - - - - -
DAVID BECKHAM: Woah shit, there's like, a tentacle growing out of my eyeball. Considering that I've been running around on the surface of this alien planet with no helmet on like a dumbass for hours, I should probably tell my super hot genius scientist wife about this. Maybe her or one of the other genius scientists on this ship can use the super high-tech machninery here to save my life.
DAVID BECKHAM: ...
DAVID BECKHAM: Nah, I'll walk it off.
- - - - - - -
SCOTTISH WOMAN #1: Man, CHARLIZE THERON is such a ***** in this movie.
IDRIS ELBA: Nah not really.
SCOTTISH WOMAN #1: She set my husband on fire!
IDRIS ELBA: She just needs a good pounding every now and then.
SCOTTISH WOMAN #1: What?
IDRIS ELBA: What?
- - - - - - -
IDRIS ELBA: Hey guys, remember how it was established earlier in the film that the air is so toxic that you'll be poisoned to death in like two minutes without a helmet?
HAPLESS SHIP CREW: Yeaaaaaah... ?
IDRIS ELBA: And remember how we discovered BULK AND SKULL'S dead bodies, and Bulk's face was half melted off?
HAPLESS SHIP CREW: Yeaaaaaah...?
IDRIS ELBA: Well, he's standing outside the ship, doing yoga, with no helmet on. That's not suspicious at all. I'm going to let him in.
HAPLESS SHIP CREW: As some of the few individuals in this movie smart enough to stay on the ship and not go gallavanting around alien tombs, we object to that ide-
IDRIS ELBA: Too late! Door's opening.
28 DAYS LATER RAGE VIRUS BULK: HURRRRRRR! I'M IN YOUR SHIP, KILLIN YOUR DUDES!
- - - - - - -
HAPLESS SHIP CREW: WHAT THE ****. HOW DOES GETTING BURNED BY ACID TURN YOU INTO A RAGE VIRUS ZOMBIE-MAN?!
28 DAYS LATER RAGE VIRUS BULK: WATCH THE SEQUEL AND FIND OUT HUUUURRRRR!
IDRIS ELBA: Even more confusing, how is it that when he was normal he wasn't smart enough to find his way out of the mountain and back to the ship, but as a zombie he can?
CHARLIZE THERON: Nevermind that. Those shitty pistols they're using down there aren't doing the job. Can't we give them machine guns or something?
IDRIS ELBA: We don't have any machine guns.
CHARLIZE THERON: We traveled halfway across the galaxy to talk to aliens, and no one thought to bring something a little stronger than some bullshit pistols? What do we have?
IDRIS ELBA: A ****-ton of extremely ineffective, short-ranged flamethrowers.
CHARLIZE THERON: ... You know, we paid a trillion dollars to hire you guys.
IDRIS ELBA: No refunds.
- - - - - - - -
MR. WAYLAND: Son, I want to live forever.
MICHAEL FASSBENDER: I know Dad. That's why I infected one of our own crew members with a horrific alien bacteria thingy.
MR. WAYLAND: What in the ****? How does that help me become immortal?
MICHAEL FASSBENDER: It doesn't, really. I was just bored at the time.
- - - - - - - -
MICHAEL FASSBENDER: Why hello there, Scottish WOMAN #1. It's good to see you. Oh my, you're half-naked. Here, take my robe.
MR. WAYLAND: So anyway, as I was saying about my senile ass is a metaphor for corporate evils...
SCOTTISH WOMAN #1: Wait, none of you guys are concerned by the fact that I'm covered in blood and have giant staples in my stomach?
MR. WAYLAND: Not really. Why would we be?
SCOTTISH WOMAN #1: Nevermind.
- - - - - - - -
CHARLIZE THERON: I hate everyone Dad, but I hate you most of all.
MR. WAYLAND?: Really? Care to explain why you hate me so much? Now would be a perfect opportunity for you to provide some exposition so that the audience can understand why you're such a ***** all the time.
CHARLIZE THERON: Hmmmmmmm, nope. I'm good.
MR. WAYLAND: Oh.
- - - - - - - -
SCOTTISH WOMAN #1: So IDRIS ELBA, if you don't intend on recklessly throwing your life away by risking certain death in the catcacombs, like the rest of us, why'd you even bother coming here?
IDRIS ELBA: Realistically, because the pay's ****ing great. However, since I'm supposed to be one of THE good characters with a moral highground, I'll just say that I don't intend on letting any of this alien shit come back to Earth with us.
SCOTTISH WOMAN #1: Oh. Well in that case, I should probably tell you about the giant alien-fetus I left laying around in Charlize Theron's bedroom.
IDRIS ELBA: What?
SCOTTISH WOMAN #1: What?
CON'T:
Spoiler:
- - - - - - -MICHAEL FASSBENDER: Alright Dad. I'm going to open up the alien's hibernation thingy now.
MR. WAYLAND: Okay MICHAEL FASSBENDER. But first let me ask you: considering that this is the first contact we've had with these things, and considering that it's not going to have any idea what the ****'s going on, and it's like eight feet tall, how do you know that it's going to grant me immortality, and not just rip your head off, beat me to death with it, and then kill everyone in the room?
MICHAEL FASSBENDER: The alien and I both speak French. That's got to count for something.
- - - - - - -
LEX THE IMPALER: Oh God, that's the last time I mix jager bombs with roofies. How long have I been out?
MICHAEL FASSBENDER: Greetings, big buff bald alien man! We have accepted your invitation to come here!
MR. WAYLAND: Give me immortality, dammit!
LEX THE IMPALER: **** YOUR IMMORTALITY *****. IF WE WANTED TO INVITE YOU HERE WE WOULD HAVE SENT A ****ing HALLMARK CARD.
MICHAEL FASSBENDER'S HEAD: Well, this is an interesting turn of events.
DYING MR. WAYLAND: The alien's gone apeshit and is killing us! Who could have predicted this?!
- - - - - - -
SCOTTISH WOMAN #1: IDRIS ELBA, you can't let that ship escape from here!
IDRIS ELBA: What the hell am I supposed to do? The Prometheus isn't a military ship!
SCOTTISH WOMAN #1: Are you kidding? We've flown halfway across the ****ing galaxy to talk to aliens, and no one could be bothered to attach a ****ing laser beam to the hull or something?
IDRIS ELBA: Okay okay, the audience gets it. We're idiots.
SCOTTISH WOMAN #1: Whatever. Just fly Prometheus into that ship and kill yourself.
- - - - - - -
IDRIS ELBA: Well ****. Alright guys, if ya'll want to hop into one of those escape pods and jump ship, I won't stop you.
CHARLIZE THERON: I'm out. Peace niggas.
HAPLESS SHIP CREW: We won't abandon you, sir! You need all the help you can get!
IDRIS ELBA: Um. Well, I appreciate the gesture, but really all I'm going to do is fly the Prometheus in a straight line and crash into his ship. We don't really need three people for that. In fact... this is th eyear 2093 or something. Airplanes have had auto-pilot systems installed in them for over a hundred years! Really, I should just be able to tell Prometheus' AI to fly itself into that other ship, while the three of us escape with our lives!
HAPLESS SHIP CREW: You could do that. But the thing is, we're already 90% of the way through the movie. There isn't enough money in the budget to give us a scene where we die in a way that actually makes sense, and also film the up-coming alien-on-alien porn finale. This is basically the best we're going to get.
IDRIS ELBA: Huh. Well alright then. Full speed ahead!
HAPLESS CREW MEMBER #12: Aye aye, sir! And HAPLESS CREW MEMBER #2, don't think that just because we're about to get crushed like a tin that means you're excused from paying up on that bet!
HAPLESS CREW MEMBER #2: It's unfortunate that we're such shallow side-characters we have to keep referencing the same joke every scene we're in just so the audience can remember who we are!
- - - - - -
CHARLIZE THERON: Oh God, I can't die horrifically yet! I'm an A-List actor and yet I haven't contributed anything even remotely important to the plot!
SCOTTISH WOMAN #1: Too late for that, honey. You should have spent more time character developing and less time ****ing Idris Elba.
CHARLIZE THERON: What?
SCOTTISH WOMAN #1: What?
- - - - - -
SCOTTISH WOMAN #1: Whew, against all odds, I managed to outlive all the other female characters in the movie. I'm home free now. Hey wait a minute, did I just see something with fins move ominously through the window of the door leading into that room I had my alien-abortion in? I better go press my head against the glass so that whatever's inside there can startle the shit out of me!
FLIPPER: WHERE THE WHITE WOMEN AT?
SCOTTISH WOMAN #1: I'm so startled!
MICHAEL FASSBENDER'S HEAD: SCOTTISH WOMAN #1, get out of there! The muscular porn-star's on his way over to beat you like a red headed step-child!
LEX THE IMPALER: WHERE THE WHITE WOMEN AT?
SCOTTISH WOMAN #1: I'm so startled! Heeeeyyyyy, wait a second. MICHAEL FASSBENDER, you're just a head! How did you know he was coming for me?
MICHAEL FASSBENDER'S HEAD: Well he left the room... so I just kind of assumed that meant he was leaving the ship entirely so that he could rummage through the destroyed wreckage of Prometheus for no reason at all, pick out the escape pod that just happens to be the one you're in, and attack you despite having nothing to gain by doing so. Context clues and all that.
SCOTTISH WOMAN #1: What?
MICHAEL FASSBENDER: What?
- - - - -
SCOTTISH WOMAN #1: Well MICHAEL FASSBENDER'S HEAD, it's just you and me now.
MICHAEL FASSBENDER'S HEAD: Indeed.
SCOTTISH WOMAN #1: Of course, with Prometheus blown to shit, we have no way of getting off this planet now. I guess we're just screwed.
MICHAEL FASSBENDER'S HEAD: Nope! I accessed the porn star's datafiles while on the ship. The truth is that there are dozens of ships just like this one scattered across the planet! If you can plug me into one of those ships, I can chart us a course right back to Earth.
SCOTTISH WOMAN #1: Wow, that's hilariously convenient. And I suppose that for the sake of the plot, none of those other ships are infested with bio-weapon alien infections?
MICHAEL FASSBENDER'S HEAD: Correct. This just happened to be the only ship on the planet that was unsafe to fly around in!
SCOTTISH WOMAN #1: Fantastic. Well as much as I would like to go home, in keeping with the film's themes, that would just be way too logical. Instead, I'd rather fly to the porn star alien's homeworld. Can you do that for me?
MICHAEL FASSBENDER'S HEAD: I'm MICHAEL FASSBENDER, I can do anything. But I have to ask, what would be the point in doing that? Surely it's obvious by now that the aliens unconditionally hate the shit out of us. They'll probably just blow us up as soon as we arrive there.
SCOTTISH WOMAN #1: My faith in Jesus will protect us, just like it did today! Not counting like the twenty people who died horribly.
ROLL CREDITS.
Yeah. Wasn't too impressed with the plot.
That was actually pretty funny, bravo.
I thought the
Spoiler:? Though either way, that was another wtf scene and seemed to be there for no other reason than dwindling characters down.
the rage-hulk-virus guy outside was the previously BBQ'd husband
Still feel about the first half of the film is really good, basically before any of the action starts.
Spoiler:
It might have been. I don't think Elba would have been too keen to let in a man who he personally saw burn to death via flamethrower. No one on the crew seemed too surprised to see the dude until he went apeshit.
I agree that the film started off really good. I enjoyed the characterization, and it did a good job of promising to not be as predictable as it turned out to be (sans the obvious chekhov's guns, such as
Spoiler:).
Theron's bar life-boat and the emergency operation table. As soon as they were introduced, i knew that they would be integral later on, and Theron's ass wouldn't live to benefit from either one
Ultimately, i think the movie just promised more than it could deliver. You can't get away with a movie that's part philosphical with all the conspiracy sub-plotx and part sci-fi epic and part action along with the "kill off as much of the cast as possible" slasher film mentality. Doin too much .
I also agree that trying to tie this in to the aliens franchise hurt it a bit.
lol 😂 I liked this one the best:
Spoiler:
SCOTTISH WOMAN #1: So IDRIS ELBA, if you don't intend on recklessly throwing your life away by risking certain death in the catcacombs, like the rest of us, why'd you even bother coming here?IDRIS ELBA: Realistically, because the pay's ****ing great. However, since I'm supposed to be one of THE good characters with a moral highground, I'll just say that I don't intend on letting any of this alien shit come back to Earth with us.
SCOTTISH WOMAN #1: Oh. Well in that case, I should probably tell you about the giant alien-fetus I left laying around in Charlize Theron's bedroom.
IDRIS ELBA: What?
SCOTTISH WOMAN #1: What?
Originally posted by Robtard
One clear continuity error, look at the size difference from Alien 1979. That SJ looks to be at least 40 feet tall. But that could be explained in later films, I suppose.
Well, that's a different ship entirely obviously, and they could all come in different shapes and sizes.. not a big deal really. *shrug* I don't really remember getting much of a sense of scale, because things happened so quickly. Does make one wonder, though, if Ridley had much of this worked out at the time of Alien, though.
Originally posted by Patient_Leech
I'm actually referring more to Cameron's Avatar than Aliens. The general Sci-Fi landscape and feel of Prometheus reminds me of a Avatar a little, except good.
Cameron better pick up his game for the Avatar sequel, Has no excuse this time about writing a script and leaving it for 12 years.
Originally posted by Patient_Leech
Well, that's a different ship entirely obviously, and they could all come in different shapes and sizes.. not a big deal really. *shrug* I don't really remember getting much of a sense of scale, because things happened so quickly. Does make one wonder, though, if Ridley had much of this worked out at the time of Alien, though.
I doubt that's it, "different size Engineers", but I can see why they'd not want to have 30-40ish feet tall Engineers in this film and opted for the 8-10ish feet tall layout, continuity be damned.
As far as scale, here's another still from Alien.
http://media.photobucket.com/image/space%20jockey/jmichinock/space-jockey-in-ridley-scotts-alien.jpg
