Dark Helmet: Careful you idiot! I said across her nose, not up it!
Laser Gunner: Sorry sir! I'm doing my best!
Dark Helmet: Who made that man a gunner?
Major: I did sir. He's my cousin.
Dark Helmet: Who is he?
Colonel Sandurz: He's an as*hole sir.
Dark Helmet: I know that! What's his name?
Colonel Sandurz: That is his name sir. as*hole, Major as*hole!
Dark Helmet: And his cousin?
Colonel Sandurz: He's an as*hole too sir. Gunner's mate First Class Philip as*hole!
Dark Helmet: I knew it! I'm surrounded by as*holes!
Dark Helmet: Keep firing, As*holes!
Colonel Sanders: Prepare ship for lightspeed!
Dark Helmet: No, no, no! Lightspeed's too slow!
Colonel Sanders: Lightspeed too slow?
Dark Helmet: Yes. We're going to have to go right
to.......Ludicrous speed! (everyone gasps)
Colonel Sanders: Ludicrous speed? Sir, we've never gone that fast
before...I don't know if the ship can take it!
Dark Helmet: What's the matter, Colonel Sanders? Chickennn?!
There's already a thread about this http://www.killermovies.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=5994 🙂
Please be more careful next time.