Denton Van Zan Vs. the Wood-chipper from Fargo

Started by Sadako of Girth137 pages

Best Van Zan thread ever.
Never before had we seen such anger from the VZ fanboy at VZ's actually winning something for once..!! (via woodchipper dive..)

this is the certainly the only appropriate van zan thread

True dat.

http://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=denton+van+van+vs&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8#q=%22denton+van+zan+vs%22&rls=en&safe=off

a google search for "denton van zan vs". the 2 top results are appropriate as well

Hahhahahahaa..!! 😂

I think Hollywood recognises Van Zan as the talented suicide random-enemy-thing feeder that he is. A man who will jump into anything, wanting to destroy himself for the greater good so his idiocy will no longer end or destroy more lives and has provided him with a date:

In Breaking Bad it was mentioned by one of the Aryans that Lydia had a Woodchipper for a cooch. ✅

A very, very sad Van Zan.

the feels on the bus go SAD SAD SAD

....alllllllllllll dayyyyyyyyy lonnnnnnnnnng.

Seriously Denton as far as movie characters go hes a complete retard. How many movies have we seen where characters beat impossible odds? Those are the whole focus of movies yet zan fails to do so in the most idiotic fashion...

It's not even the fact that he died. It's the fact he died because he didn't follow HIS OWN GAME PLAN and put himself in harm's way like a retard. With heroes such as McClane, Bauer, Hunt, Bourne, whomever, they get placed into seemingly insurmountable circumstances against their will and must fight their way out. Van Zan put himself into mortal circumstances, even after coming up with a fool-proof strategy. It's like winning the lotto, shredding the ticket, and saying " I can get rich gathering cans". Seriously, Van Zan is the post-apocalyptic equivalent of Simple Jack.

quan is desperate to bring the post count of the mcclane/van zan thread up, in order to undo the humiliation of realizing too late that he had devoted enough time and energy to siglehandedly skyrocket this ridiculous topic to the #1 replied-to thread in this forum.

Originally posted by focus4chumps

jiggy

And in the end, it proven that Van Zan is stupid enough to suicide-dive into a woodchipper. My apologies for ever doubting you 🙂

Did Neo simply lay down and get stomped to death when he was fighting 100 Smith?

Did Dutch drown himself in that puddle when he realized that predator was far superior to him?

Did Blade jump in Nomaks mouth when his chest stab failed to work?

I can go on forever but, i think you catch my .

Originally posted by Lestov16
It's not even the fact that he died. It's the fact he died because he didn't follow [b]HIS OWN GAME PLAN and put himself in harm's way like a retard. With heroes such as McClane, Bauer, Hunt, Bourne, whomever, they get placed into seemingly insurmountable circumstances against their will and must fight their way out. Van Zan put himself into mortal circumstances, even after coming up with a fool-proof strategy. It's like winning the lotto, shredding the ticket, and saying " I can get rich gathering cans". Seriously, Van Zan is the post-apocalyptic equivalent of Simple Jack. [/B]

Lestov's return to sanity has be noted.
Damnit... All choked up with pride.. I knew this day would come.

He shall no longer be known by a girl's name.
He has for now earned that right, by posting with sane thinking, without trolling and keeping it clean in the face of monsterous levels of idiocy from Susan, his opponent in debate..

We salute him.

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YouTube video

Now that I really ponder it, Van Zan may be one of the most incompetent film characters ever. He gets part of his team killed hunting a single dragon (only succeeding because Quinn put his ass on the line), comes up with a retarded plan to lure the dragon, which even Quinn, who has not had nearly as much dragon-hunting experience, is able to automatically discern will get his entire village destroyed (which surprise! It does), and then of course, disregards his own game plan and attacks the alpha dragon will it's awake, getting himself killed. He was more of a detriment to Quinn's village than the dragons. If the dragon apocalypse didn't happen, he would probably be scrubbing toilets in a military mess hall (and drown himself in the process).

Either that or he'd be scrubbed off. Like the skidmark he is.

Do they have any cleaning products that can get out dragon feces? Because Van Zan's not just a piece of shit, he's a piece of dragon shit. It's like 300x the shittiness

Ironically their best bet would have been Van Zan's mouth.
He just couldn't wait to get all up in there in that dragon ass.

He probably brought his best spoon and napkin and everything.

I knew he came off like a cannibal.