Denton Van Zan Vs. the Wood-chipper from Fargo

Started by quanchi112137 pages

Originally posted by Robtard
Except of course for the film, that supports me; it's all I need. Van Zan didn't swing 🙂
Wrong as his entire jump was a swing but clearly his intent was to attack so your entire point was stupid.

Originally posted by Lestov16
He clearly was about swing to before the dragon ate him.

for someone who needs to carry an axe everywhere, his timing with a swing sure does suck. if you're correct, that means he had just begun the swing at the exact moment of being eaten.

to be fair, by jumping toward the dragon he had to calculate the timing between 2 rapidly converging objects. also he's sacrificing blunt force since he's not grounded and cannot pivot his wieght.

would have been a better chance if one of them was still, right? particularly him.

so...why did he need to jump then?

Originally posted by focus4chumps
for someone who needs to carry an axe everywhere, his timing with a swing sure does suck. if you're correct, that means he had just begun the swing at the exact moment of being eaten.

to be fair, by jumping toward the dragon he had to calculate the timing between 2 rapidly converging objects. also he's sacrificing blunt force since he's not grounded and cannot pivot his wieght.

would have been a better chance if one of them was still, right? particularly him.

so...why did he need to jump then?

Look at it this way, Lestov just admitted that Zan didn't swing the axe.

you all mad.

So mad, so sad.

back to "lol i trol u" so soon?

Originally posted by quanchi112
Wrong as his entire jump was a swing but clearly his intent was to attack so your entire point was stupid.

Glad you finally agree that Van Zan didn't swing his axe.

Now his "intentions" are speculation, but I'm inclined to agree that he "intended" to attack, but clearly failed to, which goes with the theme of his character for the entire movie. Van Zan = Failure. Humanity was lucky Quinn was there.

"Intending to attack" also doesn't take away that it was a suicide jump, as he would have known it was a one way trip no matter what. Ergo, he committed suicide cos he failed consistently and even his last move ended in a failure. Really makes sense in a contextual manner, poor-man's Captain Ahab. Terribly written character, imo.

You are completely correct about everything, Robtard, except for the notion that he would perform such an suicidal action in any situation whatsoever (i.e. with a woodchipper)

Originally posted by Lestov16
You are completely correct about everything, Robtard, except for the notion that he would perform such an suicidal action in any situation whatsoever (i.e. with a woodchipper)

you know what lestov, fine.

i can take your current enlightenment above your former "throw up arbitrary adjectives and metaphors of highest praise" for the same character...which you kinda did for a huge portion of this thread. your friend quanchi is kinda stuck in the loop so you might want to jar him a bit with reason in his native tongue. (jackass)

oh and one more thing:

more emotionally mature folks would have just been like "lol my bad...idkwtf..." and conceded their point in the face of what a worthless tool van zan really was poorly written to be...

...but you just kinda proceeded from this point with a sort of "well of course i knew all along"...but you didnt know. in fact you invested much time and energy into deflecting just that.

I suggest you visit a proctologist soon. Your butthurt is so extreme that it may in fact be colon cancer. Hopefully they'll catch it before it's too late...

Originally posted by Lestov16
I suggest you visit a proctologist soon. Your butthurt is so extreme that it may in fact be colon cancer. Hopefully they'll catch it before it's too late...

try just saying "lol u mad" or "calm down". less energy spent with the same comedic impact (none). 🙂

Originally posted by focus4chumps
try just saying "lol u mad" or "calm down". less energy spent with the same comedic impact (none). 🙂

^

Originally posted by Lestov16
/derp

"bootly warrior"?

never saw someone else's inside joke used as an out-of-context meme. lestov: pushing the limits of fail.

Are you illiterate? It would explain quite a bit, actually.

Also, do you live under a rock? How have you never heard of The Boondocks?.

Originally posted by Lestov16
^

Again, the fact that you've never heard of The Boondocks is quite baffling. Hilarious, even.

Also, I'm loving your obsessive picture-making. At this point I'm just going to assume somebody dipped your ass into Mount Doom, because that's the only way such extreme butthurt could generate.

Also, what's it with you and this page-turning shit? Why are you caring and paying attention to when the page turns? Are you that embarrassed by your own posts? My goodness 😆

it took me 20 seconds. i mean googling is cool, but takes longer and if you dont actually read what you hotlink it can be embarassing.

yeah yeah 'boondocks', i got it. my own google search confirms yours.

I figured you'd have less hair, Focus, but then again, you don't seem like a person you invests much in his personal appearance/hygiene.

o "no me" lol

jiggy

Now you're showing me your childhood pictures? Creepy, dude. I don't know you like that.