Who Kills You, and How?

Originally posted by COG Veteran
Oh man, lol. I know this stuff.

COG Veteran & Sacred 117 VS. Marcus Fenix and Dom Santiago.

Delta challenges me and Sacred to a game of paintball. We accept and prepare to fight. Before we can begin to look for Delta, out from somewhere in the woods a paintgun/chainsaw combo paintball gun is thrown like a frisbee, decapitates Sacred. As I try to hide, modified paintballs modified to hold "kill your ass acid" are fired into me resulting in melting death.

Hahahahahahahahaha! I was wondering when you'd show up. I knew it was your thing.

Originally posted by NotAllThatEvil
N.A.T.E. vs Eponine.

After being mysteriously thrown back in time, I notice someone who looks suspiciously like samantha barks. Following her to a pile of junk in the streets, we are attacked by the french military. I save her from being shot but the bullet hits some school boy with a powder keg. We end up winning but the boy dies. The doctor then shows up and tells eponine the only way to save marius is to kill me, then go back in time and kill me again beforw the shooting starts. Since I don't speak french, I have no idea what they said and blissfully unaware of their plan and go in for the kiss. Its okay though, because the last thing I see is a beautiful women.... who's stabbing me in the chest.

Did I do good?

LOL. Love the Les Miserables stuff going on. Awesome. 😆

Originally posted by NotAllThatEvil
The complexity was part of the joke...

It was well done, Evil, so I wouldn't worry too much about it. This is more about quick death humor than elaborate snuff dark comedy.

When I think of more i'll put them here. This is not a thread to forget.

Originally posted by COG Veteran
When I think of more i'll put them here. This is not a thread to forget.

You got that right. I just happen to be dry on ideas right now. 🙁

Anyone who can make it very quick and painless.

N.A.T.E. and the North Korean military vs. Rambo with a fishing pole.

Our last words "probably shouldn't have given him a fishing pole..."

Better?

Originally posted by NotAllThatEvil
N.A.T.E. and the North Korean military vs. Rambo with a fishing pole.

Our last words "probably shouldn't have given him a fishing pole..."

Better?

Just gotta add in stuff like him fishing your eyes out of your head with the hooks, creative/ funny stuff like that.

Me Versus David Xanatos (Gargoyles)

David invites me to Xanatos Inc., where he personally expresses how flattered he is I use his name. We shake hands, I leave. The next day I get served papers: I've had a class action lawsuit put against me for copyright infringement. On my way to the hearing, a random chunk of stone drops on my head, killing me instantly. From the top of the clocktower, Broadway stretches, having just woken up, and looks down.

"...Whoops."

COG Veteran vs Link

I'm walking back up to my house when I see HIM. He glares at me and draws his bow. Naturally I run. I can only see fleeting shadows of him through the trees. He's appears in front of me suddenly and places two arrows through my knees, I fall, two thru the arms, two thru the eyes. To add injury to injury. He kicks me forward.

Scream, I'd like to modify your previous attempt.

ScreamPaste and Sacred 117 vs. Charizard (Pokémon) and Zuko (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

Zuko and Charizard vigorously stuff me and Scream into a stack of extra high profile tires and light them on fire. They then tip us over and kick us downhill. Me and Scream expect this to put the fire out until we inadvertently roll into a random stack of hay, extinguishing our chances of survival.

Originally posted by NotAllThatEvil
The complexity was part of the joke...

You can elaborate if necessary. I just recommend having more casualties.

Originally posted by COG Veteran
COG Veteran and Sacred 117 vs Link

I'm walking back up to my house when I see HIM. He glares at me and draws his bow. Naturally I run. I can only see fleeting shadows of him through the trees. He's appears in front of me suddenly and places two arrows through my knees, I fall, two thru the arms, two thru the eyes. To add injury to injury. He kicks me forward.

Horrified upon witnessing this, I make a run for it hoping I haven't been discovered only to run into a sword (that I didn't see) stuck horizontally into the side of a tree. My torso falls off remaining upright while my legs keep going for a short distance.

Jill valentine is surrounded by zombies, I mow them down with a jeep and Come out rescue her. We exchange names and info (me having none) then I drive her some of the way to her destination taking the only few streets available in raccoon city. Suddenly the car flips as a rocket hits the ground ahead of us. Shaken but not disoriented I crawl out grabbing the nearest weapon I can find (a gun) and successfully distract Nemesis long enough for Jill to run to safety within a near by location. I die a heroic death and get a small cult following of fans on the Internet.

Originally posted by SevenShackles
Jill valentine is surrounded by zombies, I mow them down with a jeep and Come out rescue her. We exchange names and info (me having none) then I drive her some of the way to her destination taking the only few streets available in raccoon city. Suddenly the car flips as a rocket hits the ground ahead of us. Shaken but not disoriented I crawl out grabbing the nearest weapon I can find (a gun) and successfully distract Nemesis long enough for Jill to run to safety within a near by location. I die a heroic death and get a small cult following of fans on the Internet.

The established character has to kill you in a creative, hopefully hilarious way. Lay the foundations. 'SevenShackles vs. Jill Valentine or Nemesis' would be one way to do it, and one (or both) of them would have to end you. Check some of the previous posts for reference. CIS is not a factor; anything goes.

If you microwave a disembodied heas, does it explode?

Originally posted by NotAllThatEvil
If you microwave a disembodied heas, does it explode?

Heas? 😕

Head.

Oh. Probably. I wouldn't actually know.

Originally posted by Sacred 117
The established character has to kill you in a creative, hopefully hilarious way. Lay the foundations. 'SevenShackles vs. Jill Valentine or Nemesis' would be one way to do it, and one (or both) of them would have to end you. Check some of the previous posts for reference. CIS is not a factor; anything goes.

Or

I survive the zombie strikes learning my lesson from Bill Murray in zombie land and acting like a zombie. Using blood and guts as camo I zombie walk my way to what seems like a safe place and right before finding safety I get shot in the head by Jill valentine. Possibly moments from safety and dressed like a walking dead reject I die.

I'll eventually get this right. 😐