Is "Chivalry" Sexist?

Originally posted by NemeBro
So you believe a woman is just as physically disadvantaged as the elderly or the disabled?

A few years back I was on a bus, sitting across from a live-action version of the Simpson Comic Book Guy: he was two-seats huge, had long hair, and was reading comics. He dropped one, and I started to get up to get it for him, figuring it would be easier for me to do so (I was half his size and athletic; does this make me "weightist"?). He looked at me, smiled and said, "That's okay, thanks," and he proceeded to pick the comic off the floor himself. As he straightened up, he looked at me again, smiled and nodded. He appreciated the gesture of kindness.

The world needs more kindness, no? What it certainly doesn't need more of is...

Originally posted by NemeBro
**** them.

Originally posted by riv6672
I hold the door for women, so i can take a gander at their hineys.

Considering who you arent, i dont think they'll care.😂

Originally posted by Mindship
Of course not (you "forgot" the child I mentioned, who often has quite the energy for standing).

A few years back I was on a bus, sitting across from a live-action version of the Simpson Comic Book Guy: he was two-seats huge, had long hair, and was reading comics. He dropped one, and I started to get up to get it for him, figuring it would be easier for me to do so (I was half his size and athletic; does this make me "weightist"?). He looked at me, smiled and said, "That's okay, thanks," and he proceeded to pick the comic off the floor himself. As he straightened up, he looked at me again, smiled and nodded. He appreciated the gesture of kindness.

The world needs more kindness, no? What it certainly doesn't need more of is...

If they ain't J-Lo or Kim K calibre, they're getting their own doors.

If you do give your seat to perfectly healthy men, then you basically give your seat up to everybody, in which case you're not being chivalrous and your anecdote isn't really relevant to this topic.

Originally posted by Mindship
Of course not (you "forgot" the child I mentioned, who often has quite the energy for standing).

A few years back I was on a bus, sitting across from a live-action version of the Simpson Comic Book Guy: he was two-seats huge, had long hair, and was reading comics. He dropped one, and I started to get up to get it for him, figuring it would be easier for me to do so (I was half his size and athletic; does this make me "weightist"?). He looked at me, smiled and said, "That's okay, thanks," and he proceeded to pick the comic off the floor himself. As he straightened up, he looked at me again, smiled and nodded. He appreciated the gesture of kindness.

The world needs more kindness, no? What it certainly doesn't need more of is...

No, not tremendously fat or old or crippled or anything (and the reason I didn't mention the child is because you gave a reason for giving up your seat that wasn't about them being physically disadvantaged), just a normal, perfectly healthy woman.

Originally posted by NemeBro
is there any reason why you give up your seat to healthy women?

I'd offer you my seat.

Originally posted by Tzeentch
So why do you give your seat to otherwise perfectly healthy women, but not otherwise perfectly healthy men?

I'm flattered, though if you'd basically offer your seat to anyone, with old people and the disabled getting priority, that's not really chivalrous so much as it's being a nice person in general.

Originally posted by NemeBro
While I'm sure the air smells so much sweeter on your high horse.

Chivalry isnt in and of itself sexist; sexist people can be chivalrous.

Chivalry is sexist, ageist, healthist etc.

It doesn't mean it's bad. People need to stop assuming sexist is inmediately a bad thing 👆

Chivalry, at least in the way I think it is generally used, is sexist. And, I disagree with Bentley, I think all sexism is bad (however, I think that may stem from different definitions of sexism, more so than a real disagreement).

Now a general politeness not based on any sexist assumptions of gender, and treating everyone with respect and kindness, is a good thing. And, imo, we should strive towards living our lives in accordance with that (to a reasonable degree, of course).

Gender's always going to be a factor, no matter how hard you try.
But its good that you try.

I don't mind it. And seriously seeing a girl putting heavy suitcase on the top shelf in a train with like 5 guys watching is just fcked up.

Originally posted by Bentley
People need to stop assuming sexist is inmediately a bad thing 👆

I assume you mean "sexism." If so, when is sexism good?

Originally posted by Mindship
Young, healthy women are least likely to get my seat. On them, I like to enforce the equality...except when I feel like being a gentleman. And they always accept.

I'd offer you my seat.

Healthy men are my physical peers. But I'd offer you my seat too.

Originally posted by Clovie
I don't mind it. And seriously seeing a girl putting heavy suitcase on the top shelf in a train with like 5 guys watching is just fcked up.

If you're doing it because she's obviously struggling with the weight, then it's just helping a physically weak person out. Someone who considers themselves a "nice guy" wouldn't just help out a woman if she's struggling to lift the suitcase, they'd do the same for a 100 pound beltway pansy of a man as well. Similarly, if the woman is strong enough to hoist the load/is a lesbian, I don't see why you'd offer to help them with something they can obviously do themselves and with no issue.

Just curious... why being a lesbian makes woman capable to carry heavy things? 🤨

I can take care of myself, but It's always welcomed when someone is willing to help. and that being some handsome guy is an extra value 😄
but seriously, recently it's more common to see another girl helping and guys pretending to have back pain 😬

Originally posted by Tzeentch
I'm flattered, though if you'd basically offer your seat to anyone, with old people and the disabled getting priority, that's not really chivalrous so much as it's being a nice person in general.

Originally posted by NemeBro
What does you being a nice guy in general have to do with this thread?

As Bardock mentioned, a definition of chivalry might've been helpful. For example: "chivalry - I'm a man, you're a woman. By virtue of that fact alone, I am superior to you, physically, morally, etc. Therefore, it is my duty to be nice to you, to protect you, and so on." That's sexist, and can have negative consequences elsewhere (eg, "I need servicing, woman!"😉.

OTOH, if chivalry means helping someone who may have a tougher time with a task/situation, or simply following the golden rule (eg, holding a door for a man/woman, giving a woman my seat, helping the pansy man lift a heavy suitcase), then, no, I don't see this as "-ist" in any fashion.

For what it's worth, I have my share of "**** them" moments. And while in the throes of an anger fantasy -- and especially if I act-out ("Hold your own goddamn door"😉 -- I feel deserving and empowered. But afterwards, once the fog of war has lifted from my brain, I feel bad, because that's not the type of person I want to be. I don't like when my anger and egotism get the better of me.

The world needs more kindness, and fortunately, life provides endless opportunities to "get it right" the next time.

Originally posted by NemeBro
they'd do the same for a 100 pound beltway pansy of a man..... if the woman is strong enough to hoist the load/is a lesbian

Well if it is then I guess I'm not that sexist after all.

Originally posted by The Renegade
I assume you mean "sexism." If so, when is sexism good?

Why should it be good or bad? Frankly, the concept of every action fitting into the mold of good or bad is nonsensical and ridiculously naive.

Originally posted by Mindship
I don't necessarily see being nice as a separate issue. My first thought when I saw this thread was, "So now what? I can't do something nice for a woman without being labelled? More political correctness gone amuck?" Hell wit dat. Back to basics for me with golden rule in hand.

As Bardock mentioned, a definition of chivalry might've been helpful. For example: "chivalry - I'm a man, you're a woman. By virtue of that fact alone, I am superior to you, physically, morally, etc. Therefore, it is my duty to be nice to you, to protect you, and so on." That's sexist, and can have negative consequences elsewhere (eg, "I need servicing, woman!"😉.

OTOH, if chivalry means helping someone who may have a tougher time with a task/situation, or simply following the golden rule (eg, holding a door for a man/woman, giving a woman my seat, helping the pansy man lift a heavy suitcase), then, no, I don't see this as "-ist" in any fashion.

For what it's worth, I have my share of "**** them" moments. And while in the throes of an anger fantasy -- and especially if I act-out ("Hold your own goddamn door"😉 -- I feel deserving and empowered. But afterwards, once the fog of war has lifted from my brain, I feel bad, because that's not the type of person I want to be. I don't like when my anger and egotism get the better of me.

The world needs more kindness, and fortunately, life provides endless opportunities to "get it right" the next time.

Originally posted by MF DELPH
Chivalry, as in giving women special treatment essentially for the sake of them being women

Yeah, "being nice to everybody in general" is an entirely separate concept and topic.