TOMORROW IS TOOTHACHE DAY
TOMORROW IS UMBRELLA DAY
TOMORROW IS
TODAY IS
TOMORROW IS VALENTINES DAY
(Damn corporate holiday.)
TOMORROW IS SUSAN B ANTHONY DAY
TODAY IS CANDLEMAS
(Yeah i had to Google it too.)
TODAY IS DO A GROUCH A FAVOR DAY
Today is World Pangolin Day.
Look it up you lazy bastards.
TOMORROW IS NATIONAL DRINK WINE DAY
(I’d rather have beer.)
TODAY IS NATIONAL BATTERY DAY
TODAY IS LOVE YOUR PET DAY
(Unless its a cat.)
TODAY IS WALKING THE DOG DAY
(Grab your poop bags.)
TONIGHT IS OPEN THAT BOTTLE NIGHT
(Heeeell yeah!)
TODAY IS POLAR BEAR DAY