Chances are I'll never be able to do a pushup again

I'm not mentally disabled, just emotionally. I was from the start, and it wasn't because of trauma or anything I was just born that way.

I was beat black and blue in 4th grade by bully.

When I moved here never had a friend, really I've not had any communication with anyone except for two people (mother/father) in a I think it's been a month now. Except for surgeons trying and failing miserably just like me to save my elbow.

Not particularly good looking, actually I'm hideous. After I graduated high school I worked a terrible terrible labor job for 4 years, and I've been through hell there, and I got really good at moving furniture and that gave me a sense of pride, but now I can't do that turns out I had rheumatoid arthritis, now I'll never be able to even to even do a pushup again. I'm anemic, I'm hideous.

Now rewind the clock a year and month ago I'd hit rock bottom, didn't really have friends who cared but I went out and partied, at least I did that. I was weight lifting, I was really good-looking and I set out one night after getting all A's to get a girlfriend. I'd felt unfairly shunned by this one girl and I figured I could with the way I looked then probably get her.

Well, her friend hugged me, lol. I guess I'd changed enough to be attractive to her. But the girl I liked? Turns out she was madly in love with someone else but not only that but like in front of me she started ****ing him, not really, she was just sucking his tongue. But I realized when I saw that I'll never really be able to have what I want.

I held a gun to my head for like two days, never quick was courageous to pull the trigger but then it was gone somehow.

I swear when I find that gun...lol

I tired of lying to myself. I lied to myself for over a year, saying "you can have everything you want". I mean, lighter fluid was poured down an innocent person's throat and she was set on fire. If there is a God, it can't be petitioned with screams or terror or anything so I was lying to myself, I had a couple options, suicide, or worse. So, I pick what I pick. What's the point in living if you're face has to be pushed in the mud and you have to get mauled and die horribly either way it's not really a choice.

I'm sane now, I can't stop God from beating from beating me. That's fate, you can't do anything about it, and to deny that is to be a crazy person.

you alright brah?!

i'll be your pal, if you'll have me!

i mean at least you have mother/father. i still don't know where i stand with them!

a part of me wishes my sister didnt get married when she did, for selfish reasons. i couldve been happier and less of a bummer if it didnt happen when it happened. but if it hapened tomorrow i don't see anything being different, which makes me think nothing will ever change.

this thread is depressing as hell

Hey Oneness! I know what you feel, man. It's never easy to see your romantic interest with somebody else. But you can't let that just beat you. Each person is stronger than a crush.

Just hang out with us, dude. We can make jokes and stuff.

petpet hope you feel better

Originally posted by Quincy
Hey Oneness! I know what you feel, man. It's never easy to see your romantic interest with somebody else. But you can't let that just beat you. Each person is stronger than a crush.

Just hang out with us, dude. We can make jokes and stuff.

I'm being serious here, that person was then and is now and forever unimportant, less than nothing. That person's opinion of me isn't even credible, that's not the reason I fell into a depression. The reason: I have no control.

Anyway you're missing the point. Reread. Because you conceptualized nothing from any of that.

And no, I refuse to only have online, gtfo.

Originally posted by \\W//
this thread is depressing as hell

If there is one, or if you believe in God. We were given 4 basic emotions, only one of them is a good one. The other three are fear, anger, and sorrow. Those are three to one, this existence is hell.

So **** you.

Robtard refuses to believe that you'll never do a pushup again. REFUSED!

I just did a push up for you, bruh.

Originally posted by Robtard
Robtard refuses to believe that you'll never do a pushup again. REFUSED!

I just need to wake up. The agents of this system won't oppress anymore.

God is a deceptive concept, God as we know it is a bunch of alien abstractions writing ways to **** us over, writing hierarchy here. Some humans are demons, and those are the people who have it all. The system has been manipulated to benefit them.

Look around you, it's true.

I wonder how many push ups God can do.

I bet I can do more.

You're all deceived.

My joint strength and "chick magnetism" are attributes, programmed attributes. I can reprogram them but not in the sense you understand, Robtard.

I'm talking without doing anything, being a bum I can have it all. Just by getting high. But not on the programmed effect of any substance, in certain mental states you reprogram things.

About to start doing some push ups, I'll keep you all updated on my progress.

**** work ethic.

The issue I had was fluoride poisoning, it targets the joints and is almost indistinguishable from rheumatoid arthritis. I swear I had complications from strep-throat just before I injured, a rheumatic fever. They dump boatloads of fluoride into the water specifically for me. To ruin me.

But everyone on a smaller scale, they recently refused to stop dumping fluoride into our water supply, their new excuse? "It helps babies teeth grow." lolololol

Don't troll me you ****s. You killed 2000 americans in 2001, make no mistake you'll be tried and punished accordingly for your respective crimes against the oppressed.

Hey, KoS.

I started struggling around 30, then I prayed to God.

I felt the holy spirit come over me and I knocked out 30 more.