31 Days of HORROR(ible) HALLOWEEN JOKES!

Time to put The Kooky back in the Spooky!

Why are teachers happy at Halloween parties ?
Because there is lots of school spirit !
What happened to the girl who wore a mouse costume to her Halloween party ?
The cat are her !
What do witches eat at Halloween ?
Spooketti, halloweenies, devils food cake and booberry pie !
A boy went to a Halloween party with a sheet on his head.
"Are you a ghost ?" asked his friends
"No, I'm an unmade bed !"
Another boy went to a Halloween party with a sheet on his head.
"Are you an unmade bed ?" asked his friends
"No, I'm an undercover agent !"
What did the really ugly man do for a living ?
He posed for Halloween masks !
Why did the ghost go trick or treating on the top floor ?
He was in high spirits !
What happened when the girl dressed as a spoon left the Halloween party ?
No one moved, they couldn't stir without her !
Why was the little boy unhappy to win first prize for the best costume at the Halloween party ?
Because he just came to pick up his sister !
Why was everyone tickled by the fried chicken at the Halloween party ?
Because the feathers were still on the chicken !

Much like i told my old college roommate, i dont think we can keep this up for a month!

Q: Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
A: Because you can see right through them!

Of course we can't ....that's part of the fun!

What do Ghosts and Goblins drink when they get hot and thirsty?
GHOUL-AID!

Why didnt the skeleton attend the party?

He had NO BODY to go with!

Ghost Jokes
A sheet full of funny ghost jokes for kids that love a goo laugh when Halloween is near!

Q: How did the glamorous ghost earn her living?
A: She was a cover ghost!

Q: How can you tell if a ghost is angry?
A: It turns red!

Q: How did the ghost patch his sheet?
A: With a pumpkin patch!

Q: What does a zombie get when it bites a ghost?
A: A mouth full of sheet!

Q: What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A: Ice Scream!

Q: Why did the ghost starch her sheet?
A: 
She wanted everyone to be scared stiff!

Q: What do you call a ghost in a torn sheet?
A: 
A little holy terror!

Q: Where do ghosts mail their letters?
A: 
At the ghost office!

Q: What would you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman?
A: 
A dead ringer!

Q: Why are so few ghosts arrested?
A: It’s hard to pin anything on them!

Q: How do ghosts learn songs?
A: They read the sheet music

Mouth full of sheet...😆

[QUOTE=15411680]Originally posted by Nuke Nixon

Why doesn't a witch wear underwear?

So she can get a better grip on the broom. [/QUOTE

Two 5 year old black kids (boy and girl) went out trick or treating in a rich Texas suburb. They knocked on this guys door and said trick or treat, The guy asked them what they were dressed as? The little girl said "Jack n Jill" The guy said "You cant be Jack n Jill your black" So the kids left and came back and the guy said "And what are you guys supposed to be this time?" The little girl said "Hansel n Gretal" The guy says "You cant be Hansel n Gretal your black" So the kids leave upset only to come back a few min later. This time they were naked. The guys says " and just what are you supposed to be now?" The little girl says "M&M's, I'm plain and he got nuts"

mother ****er that is funny

I had some cookies at work yesterday, they were left over from a funeral. I decided that the cookies were haunted, therefore I had spookies

Q: Why don't angry witches ride their brooms?
A: They're afraid of flying off the handle

Q: What do witches use in their hair?
A: Scare-spray

Q: How do you make a Witch scratch herself?
A: Take away the W!

Q: How do you know a witch invented the alphabet?
A: Because you have to spell it.

Q: What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A: A sand-witch.

Q: Why does a witch ride a broom?
A: Vacuum cleaners get stuck at the end of the cord.

Q: What do you call a witch's garage?
A: A broom closet.

Q: What do you call two witches living together?
A: Broommates.

so bad it's kinda funny

That kind is my fav.

Originally posted by Dave_97
I had some cookies at work yesterday, they were left over from a funeral. I decided that the cookies were haunted, therefore I had spookies

Its the Pumpkin Milk that really makes the spookies good.

How do Monsters tell their future?
They read their horrorscope

How do you fix a jack-o-lantern?
With a pumpkin patch

Halloween Knock-Knock Jokes
Halloween Knock-Knock Jokes
Halloween Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive Halloween

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Phillip.
Phillip who?
Phillip my bag with candy!

Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, "A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?" The other monster replied, "Be a gentleman and roll them back to her."

What do you get if you cross a School Teacher and a Vampire?

A Blood Test.

^^^That was good!

A vampire an an IRS agent?
An IRS agent.