It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to replicate the tradition, she prepared a turkey dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went.
"Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey!" said the daughter.
"Why... did it taste funny?" her mother asked.
"I don't know," the blonde said. "It wouldn't sit still!"
T-Day HaaaOooo!
These turkey jokes will put you to sleep faster then tryptophan
Top 10 Signs you had a Bad Thanksgiving.
10. "You ran out of booze by 11a.m."
9. "Most frequently used word at dinner: Heimlich"
8. "Meal was leftovers from last Thanksgiving"
7."thanks to new electric knife ,kids fought over the wishbone and your severed thumb'
6. The Turkey was wearing a dog collar
5.Spent day in Times Square waiting for giant turkey to drop
4. Woke up from tryptophan induced sleept to find yourself naked in the drive way
3. When dinner came out, so did your son
2.Laura and the twins lock you out
and #1
Your turkey dinner was the only breast you've touched all year.
A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says,"I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her."
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this,"
She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."
What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it?
Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all.
Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive?
It had 24 carrots
.Why can't you take a turkey to church?
They use FOWL language.
What did baby corn say to mama corn?
Where's popcorn?
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo?
A turkey that can pluck itself!
What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
"If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!"
What if the Pilgrims shot a bobcat instead of a turkey?
We'd be eating pussy for Thanksgiving