Originally posted by BrolyBlack
You duh!😂
While Trumpers who praised Mueller being appointed have turned when the marching orders went out and tried to smear his name over the last 18-19 months.
Originally posted by Bashar Teg
and what's with the buttmad cries of "narcissism"? i'm sure he knew that divulging that would put shade on him. or do you think that talking about your relationships is "bragging"? i guess we're living on a whole new level of PC-baby culture, and i need to study up and get hip to it.
As far as my statement goes, it's because he said, in the post, recently, that his relationships have been negatively impacted by his narcissism.
It would be like me saying I stub my toes because I have big feet. It is what it is.
Originally posted by dadudemonI do think I put myself first and always hold onto my identity in relationships. I also ensure I always have people available "waiting in the wings" DDM this hasn't always been the case, but I certainly have gone through phases where I've filled my jars of hearts. I often think this is narcissism, it's never good to hurt anyone, but sometimes the way we behave to people who care about us, isn't careful enough. I am certainly guilty of this more than most of my friends.
As far as my statement goes, it's because he said, in the post, recently, that his relationships have been negatively impacted by his narcissism.It would be like me saying I stub my toes because I have big feet. It is what it is.
Originally posted by Putinbot1
It was a friendship, I did have a full relationship with her at a later date.
How long before you had a full relationship after your breakup with your ex? If you don’t mind me asking.
I think other than her being mentally unstable (no woman I’ve ever dated would cry over me talking to a friend ever, can’t say that about my “flings” or one night stands of course but I don’t know them enough to find out) is a big part of it but it might also be about how she sees you as a person.
Originally posted by Putinbot1
About 6 months from the time I promised her mother. I could have jumped straight in people were waiting, but I didn't.
The fact that you have a “there were ppl waiting” mindset might be part of the problem. I do agree with DDM that there may be a bit of narcissism involved here. You could have fostered a toxic trust environment for your gf with how you interacted with other women you call “friends”. Could also be what strains your other relationships as well.
I always made it a point to make my gf feel very secure about my relationship with them and not to worry about my friendships with other women (I tend to “cut off” friendships I have with women when I’m in a serious relationship, my female friends are cool enough to understand this). And other than my wife now, I have never ever dated a friend. Or even considered it. My wife was the one person that made me break this rule. I have these rules because I want my relationships to not be dragged down by these petty trust issues.
Fortunately, my wife is secure enough to have zero issues with anything like this, so this is no longer a concern for me. Ironically, it does come at a time where 100% of my time and attention goes to my daughter and her (beyond work and my hobbies of course). But even if it weren’t, she wouldn’t stress it one bit. She knows all my ex-gf stories as she has been a very trusted friend of mine who I confided with for almost 20 years. 😛
@ Nib, Each of my marriages was for almost ten years and I have never cheated. I honestly don't think men and women shouldn't be friends, I just did a count of people on my non work phone on what's app, of the 400 there, almost 300 are women. I just enjoy the company of women a lot. That said as with Facebook, I probably only regularly interact with 40 people and the split on gender lines is much more equal.
Whirly's story hits close home and it's also one of the scariest situations I've heard in my whole life.
I used to think everyone had similar expectations when starting a relationship, that there was something that was agreed upon and through communication and affection things were worked naturally as both individuals faced the future. But growing old it started to become clear that people also use relationships as shields to protect from others and to feel valued by themselves, as an elaborated trick not to do certain things or take some risks. Not everyone does this and for me that's the crux of the issue: for some people being in a relationship is a goal and for others it's a situation.
Here I could try to put blame into narratives and how everyone is pushed to get some kind of sugar from a special person. Men are rarely taught to say nice things and be affectionate with other men, women can be aggressive and competitive with one another. The relationship becomes a resting place for all this aggressive social pressure, but it's not really that safe of a place. For me the evil comes from the expectation of a couple: be it sexually deprived people, antisocials or clingy lovers they all suffer from this identity crisis that is staking too much into physical love. Which is important in the most biological sense. But adding the social pressure is over kill.
People should afford not to be in a sex competition in situations other than when they are in a couple. Men that can't like women without trying to have sex with them in the future have a creep mentality that, I believe, is just not healthy. Mostly because it makes most relationships about attractiveness and seduction, I obviously don't give a sh_t on what you guys do with other consenting adults. Just don't add to the pressure, be chill and don't blame others if you are willing to sit and just accept whatever aggressive sex narratives they sell.
End of rant
Originally posted by Putinbot1
@ Nib, Each of my marriages was for almost ten years and I have never cheated. I honestly don't think men and women shouldn't be friends, I just did a count of people on my non work phone on what's app, of the 400 there, almost 300 are women. I just enjoy the company of women a lot. That said as with Facebook, I probably only regularly interact with 40 people and the split on gender lines is much more equal.
I never said you cheated or implied so. It has more to do with the idea that the person you are with feels that they are replaceable and so their inherent flaws (to them) feel magnified and their overall value (again, to them) feel diminished, making them insecure. Your openess in sharing this availability of options is also part of the problem and the fact that your “friends” are part of this option pool makes trusting them and your relationship with them very difficult. It’s a “hey I’ll never cheat on you but if we have a fight or a minor bump on the road, you are easily replaceable” kind of environment.
I am ashamed to say that I used to have that attitude and after a close talk with one of my exes (years after our breakup), who managed to stay on friendly terms (tho not a friend-friend, as again, I have a rule against that). I realized that it was indeed a toxic environment to be in. She was never able to break up with me at the time but she said that once I broke up with her, she eventually realized that it was a relief. At your age (you are in your 50s correct?), I am surprised that you are unaware of this (or if you aware, seem perfectly ok with how this would impact the ppl you care about).
I have about as many female acquiantances maybe even more, given my career background and lifestyle back then. Altho I will count less than 10 who I would consider close friends to this day, one of w/c is my best friend who would have been best man at my wedding had my guy best friend been unavailable.
Originally posted by BentleyA lot of truth in this, she meant a lot to me and I was gutted how things went, but, she didnt mean everything. Clearly she's built her dreams around me.
Whirly's story hits close home and it's also one of the scariest situations I've heard in my whole life.I used to think everyone had similar expectations when starting a relationship, that there was something that was agreed upon and through communication and affection things were worked naturally as both individuals faced the future. But growing old it started to become clear that people also use relationships as shields to protect from others and to feel valued by themselves, as an elaborated trick not to do certain things or take some risks. Not everyone does this and for me that's the crux of the issue: for some people being in a relationship is a goal and for others it's a situation.
Here I could try to put blame into narratives and how everyone is pushed to get some kind of sugar from a special person. Men are rarely taught to say nice things and be affectionate with other men, women can be aggressive and competitive with one another. The relationship becomes a resting place for all this aggressive social pressure, but it's not really that safe of a place. For me the evil comes from the expectation of a couple: be it sexually deprived people, antisocials or clingy lovers they all suffer from this identity crisis that is staking too much into physical love. Which is important in the most biological sense. But adding the social pressure is over kill.
People should afford not to be in a sex competition in situations other than when they are in a couple. Men that can't like women without trying to have sex with them in the future have a creep mentality that, I believe, is just not healthy. Mostly because it makes most relationships about attractiveness and seduction, I obviously don't give a sh_t on what you guys do with other consenting adults. Just don't add to the pressure, be chill and don't blame others if you are willing to sit and just accept whatever aggressive sex narratives they sell.
End of rant
Originally posted by NibedicusYou see, I believe people grow apart often and I don't believe one person exists for everyone. I also feel friendship should never be something to avoid. However these are only my opinions.
I never said you cheated or implied so. It has more to do with the idea that the person you are with feels that they are replaceable and so their inherent flaws (to them) feel magnified and their overall value (again, to them) feel diminished, making them insecure. Your openess in sharing this availability of options is also part of the problem and the fact that your “friends” are part of this option pool makes trusting them and your relationship with them very difficult. It’s a “hey I’ll never cheat on you but if we have a fight or a minor bump on the road, you are easily replaceable” kind of environment.I am ashamed to say that I used to have that attitude and after a close talk with one of my exes (years after our breakup), who managed to stay on friendly terms (tho not a friend-friend, as again, I have a rule against that). I realized that it was indeed a toxic environment to be in. She was never able to break up with me at the time but she said that once I broke up with her, she eventually realized that it was a relief. At your age (you are in your 50s correct?), I am surprised that you are unaware of this (or if you aware, seem perfectly ok with how this would impact the ppl you care about).
I have about as many female acquiantances maybe even more, given my career background and lifestyle back then. Altho I will count less than 10 who I would consider close friends to this day, one of w/c is my best friend who would have been best man at my wedding had my guy best friend been unavailable.