Originally posted by Robtard
@ddmI've never used Tinder and everyone I know who has was for the purpose of a one night stand or a short term f**kbuddy. Everything I've heard/read previously backed this up as well.
most people don't use dating apps. dating apps are a reliable cross-section of the types of people who use dating apps, and nothing more.
Originally posted by BackFire
Unless you are extremely good looking, successful or have a great and charming natural personality (like I do), it can take a lot of work and effort to get to a point where you are comfortable talking to women, and usually, this also goes with many failures. It can be a scary thing if you're not used to it, no one likes failure, but you have to just push on and keep trying, like anything.
I 1000% agree. I also think we have created an environment that significantly extends the adolescent period, and can significantly deter the natural masculine tendencies of young men.
Unfortunately, being able to approach women, having the confidence to take control of a room, and just having the natural qualities of confidence that women enjoy, are incongruent with a system that doesn't reward competition imo.
Originally posted by BackFire
I think the biggest problem is that a lot of these people don't really want to put out the effort to learn or improve themselves in any meaningful way. It's easier for them to just sit there and vaguely blame women for not flocking to them for being "nice guys" while they sit behind their keyboards eating Cheetos than it is to actually go out and talk to women, get rejected, learn from that rejection, and talk to others until you find one you mesh with. People are used to instant gratification in today's world, and a good woman will not give you instant gratification. It's ironic because we now live in a world of Tinder/Bumble and other free services that will essentially match you up with a date without even leaving your house, but like in real life, on these, it takes a great deal of effort and time, and honestly a little luck.
Yes, I agree, too many weak, lazy, men, that choose to blame women for their lack of success. Women are a great filter for whether or not you have your shit together. It's a built-in progress meter for men in life. Not saying that women should be the goal. Self-actualization should be, but once you reach a certain level, women will flock to you.
It's true, some dudes are SOL, but that's fine. More incentive to get rich. Women are malleable and are less interested in physical appearance for a long-term commitment.
Tinder and Bumble isn't for Betas. It's literally a waste of time unless you are a very high-status male. For my age group (18-25), you need to get down to a low BF, and exude exciting qualities in 5 photos before ever bothering. For some, it's either a HUGE confidence booster or a road to depression.
Originally posted by BackFire
I think your last point is too simplistic and doesn't give women enough credit. They are no different than men, they want the best they can get. The key is to make a woman think you are that, even if by most metrics, you are not. If you act confident and successful, and are able to make her laugh, that's 90% of what you need to do in order to get your foot in the door. Honestly, I find women to be much less superficial than men when it comes to who they date. I see extremely attractive and beautiful women with guys who are overweight, short, bald, or just overall not very good looking, which should be great news for these guys who can't get laid. It means the problem probably isn't their looks, but their personality or the effort they are willing to put out, or their cowardice.
It was a very broad generalization but I wasn't attempting to blame women. I agree that women's tastes can be malleable.
I think a big issue is that men still believe in unconditional love and want a romantic relationship that reflects the affection they received from their mother. They also put women on a ridiculously inhumane pedestal for today's society. And they get angry when they turn out to be...human.
Originally posted by dadudemon
That's okay. You just associate with trashy people. haermm
Some, sure. But I also don't think having one night stands or a f**kbuddy is trashy, as long as you're either single or in an open relationship where it's agreed upon. It's just sex, nothing wrong with that if both parties know what they're getting into.
Originally posted by Robtard
@ddmI've never used Tinder and everyone I know who has was for the purpose of a one night stand or a short term f**kbuddy. Everything I've heard/read previously backed this up as well.
'Tis true, Tinder is for hoes. I've deleted SM for exam season except Tinder. It's a business-development pipeline for the summer and a booty uber-eats while I'm locked in my house studying.
But the logic you're applying fits the general dating pool as a whole. Most single people....are single for a reason. Some are just hard-working and have been career focused, but very often, it's a cesspool because the good ones are generally in long-term commitments.
Originally posted by dadudemonyou know what I mean, don't be pedantic.
Online dating is real life dating.
Originally posted by dadudemonFair enough but what if the gender ratios on those sorts of sites give women more leverage thus making them more picky. Basically, tinder = China.
The opposite is true. Tinder leads to long term relationships more often than the "offline" peers:https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/19/style/tinder-relationship-dating-study.html
So first I shit on Tinder and now I build it back up. I guess that makes us even?
If any of you old farts want to know more about modern dating, let me know. 👆
Wouldn't surprise me if the ratio of men to women on Tinder was 4 to 1. Does anyone have actual data on this? Though I do wonder how reliable that is if it comes from Tinder. IIRC, Ashley Madison (site catered to married but looking people) lied about their male/female member ratio to keep men signing up. Turned out there were far fewer women on the sight than advertised.
Originally posted by Putinbot1
Exactly people like me when single.
haha but i said "types", and there are many types i'm sure. lots of people are looking for all sorts of things on tinder from booty call to marriage i'm sure. i wasn't attempting to mass-classify internet daters as anything but internet daters 👆
Was just watching a Jordan Peterson video where he's talking about the Lion King where this comes up.
"This female he admires wants nothing to do with him, and so first of all he thinks 'well maybe I'll hate all women' which is, you know, a pretty pathetic conclusion but a very common one, and the next is, well maybe there's actually something wrong with him, which is a very painful bit of self-reflection."
Never understand people who call Peterson the incel king.
Originally posted by mike brown
you know what I mean, don't be pedantic. Fair enough but what if the gender ratios on those sorts of sites give women more leverage thus making them more picky. Basically, tinder = China.
It's not pedantic if a majority of young adults (70%) use online dating apps to actually date, though.
Pedantic would be stating that a majority of young adults use online dating apps and the number is 52%.
Look at what I just did: I was pedantic about the word pedantic. hmm
Originally posted by Bashar Teg
most people don't use dating apps. dating apps are a reliable cross-section of the types of people who use dating apps, and nothing more.
Originally posted by dadudemon
Edit - in 2017, the young adults, up to 35, only 30% were not using online dating tools.It's in the article.
So, yes, Tinder is one cross-section of modern young adults' dating habits that matches (pun intended) in multiple ways to its biggest competitor: OKCupid.
And the racist tendencies were replicated in Tinder's userbase, too.
Originally posted by dadudemonWhere are you getting these figures from mate?
It's not pedantic if a majority of young adults (70%) use online dating apps to actually date, though.Pedantic would be stating that a majority of young adults use online dating apps and the number is 52%.
Look at what I just did: I was pedantic about the word pedantic. hmm
Originally posted by Emperordmb
Was just watching a Jordan Peterson video where he's talking about the Lion King where this comes up."This female he admires wants nothing to do with him, and so first of all he thinks 'well maybe I'll hate all women' which is, you know, a pretty pathetic conclusion but a very common one, and the next is, well maybe there's actually something wrong with him, which is a very painful bit of self-reflection."
Never understand people who call Peterson the incel king.
Anyone who calls JP a propagator of incels is lazy and intellectually dishonest. His entire philosophy of taking responsibility and self-reflection is directly opposed to the incel mindset. The incel philosophy at its core refuses self-reflection. It's men wallowing in self-pity. That's why people find incels so repulsive imo: The antithesis of masculinity.
It IS TRUE that his philosophy would probably reach out to incels on a wide range but that is precisely because they need his type of message the most. It's amazing what some self-reflection and personal responsibility can do for people.
As I get older, and learn more history and about people, I've come to believe that human beings are beasts of burden that need a purpose/guidance, and there's probably a direction correlation between that need and institutions of religions. Especially men.
Originally posted by dadudemonI get your point, but you know as well as I do that I meant that approaching a girl via tinder vs walking up to an actual girl don't necessarily yield the same rate of success. I always wonder if part of the problem is all this social media shit is stunting basic social skills.
It's not pedantic if a majority of young adults (70%) use online dating apps to actually date, though.Pedantic would be stating that a majority of young adults use online dating apps and the number is 52%.
Look at what I just did: I was pedantic about the word pedantic. hmm
Originally posted by Bashar Teg
the actual figure probably represents all single people who have tried it. i tried it briefly years ago and decided it wasn't for me, but i'm sure i'm included in the false equation. maybe a few million spam-bots and scammers as well
Nothing can explain this level of laziness except you had a bad time with online dating. kitty
The details are in the article and you can also google this topic and see similar studies. It's not new information. 🙂
Originally posted by mike brown
I get your point, but you know as well as I do that I meant that approaching a girl via tinder vs walking up to an actual girl don't necessarily yield the same rate of success. I always wonder if part of the problem is all this social media shit is stunting basic social skills.
I don't know. I think I see a much higher number online than I do in real life? Much higher number of "known" likes, for sure. In real life, girls won't just straight up tell you that they like you or find you attractive unless you get to know them a bit. Online, they tell you even if you're not aware of them.
In person, I've usually checked to make sure they were single, first. And not crazy. Real life is much easier to find a date or a number/snapchat ID. Because I've put in a bit of leg work to make sure I'm not wasting my time. In real life, I've been turned down twice. Online? Probably dozens of times.
It's a numbers game, I think. But online, you have to look good to see success. Catfishing will land you a date, maybe, but you'll be a rockstar of one-hit dating.