God, I remember them. Basically they were just driving around in construction vehicles with buzzsaws attached, weren't they? Had a ridiculous theme tune as well, but then they all did in that era... I thought Mendoza ffrom Mysterious Cities of Gold was the coolest guy EVER... oh hell, NOW I have got the 'Defenders of the Earth' theme stuck in my head!
Anyway, I have gone off the point, somewhat... more Edna-ness tonight, of course.
Well, it is late, I am tired, but I said I would, so here is the continuation of part 3 of my Edna crush story!
When Elle told me it was Nathan, I said back to her that I had gussed as such. She asked how the f*** did I guess that, and I said something back about it being intuition, though if I had been compelled to state the truth I would have said "BECAUSE IT WAS FREAKIN' OBVIOUS! GAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
Apparently Nathan had unexpectedly made a move on her whilst they were on holiday. This dream come true was such a pleasant surprise for her that she had fallen for him at once, and she couldn;t think of a way to tell me so she just ignored me.
As we talked a little over the next couple of days it was clear that it was all over. She had FINALLY, having now cheated on him twice over, broken up with David when she had gotten back from Newuqay, the poor guy being ignorant about either of us (though later being tipped off about Nathan). Elle was certainly willing to put more effort into making a go of things with Nathan than I.
But what about all the things she had said about me? Hasty words. She had said my illness did not matter, now she thought that naive; she was sorty, but it really made things difficult. She wanted someone who thought the same way as here, who liked the same things as her, She and Nathan had gone go-karting together and liked the same sort of curries. I could not believe what I was hearing. Go-karting and Indian meals? THESE were the things that had torn apart the greatest thing in my life, EVER? Everything I thought I had meant to her was all for nothing because I hadn't driven a crappy little car thing around in circles for an hour or two?
However. If any of you think less of Elle for that slightly shabby treatment of me, it would only be fair to think still less of me for the HORIFFIC treatment I gave to her over the next week. I would like to say that I took this in good part, struggled through the horribleness of it on my own, and thought to myself "Hah, women, eh?" But no. I had just latched onto something good in my life, and it had been wrenched away from me. I felt betrayed. As I had said, all good things in my life went wrong And I did not want to live.
I cried and ranted and raved; I sent her abusive messages (and she sent ones back in good measure; spirited girl, Elle), and when she stopped answering I threatened to kill myself. Yup, that's right. There was never anything Elle could do wrong that I could not then make WORSE with my handling of it. In my defence my life had NOT been an easy one and I was emotionally vulnerable in amny ways... but these were defences, not excuses, and Elle was crying regularly about it all s much as I was. She called me the next morning after that threat to see if I was still alive; I am not exactly making the headline news by revealing that I still was, though it was tempting.
(I feel I must add at this point that I am a LOT better now than I was then...)
Things calmed down somewhat. We talked more civilly. Elle decided it was not a good idea for us to carry on anything at all, but as we had already made the date she thought she might, out of politeness, still come in August. Nathan was just leaving on a holiday to America and she was preparing to work hard all summer in his absence. My heart lept at one point when I received a sweet text message from her... only for her to apologise just afterwards; it was for Nathan, the night before he left, she had sent it to me in error. Nathan and her talked long that night and much was planned after his return.
My life was a mess but Elle still meant a lot to me so I tried to keep in contact with her as much as possible, doing the on-line friends thing. But it wasn;t the same, no more mails, barely any responses to my text messages, and she rarely visited the boards. I kept organising for times to meet her in the chat room, but she was always unexpectantly busy and those times were cancelled. My life was slowly returning to its former, more gloomy format.
Night after night throughout January, I texted her every day, trying to start a conversation. Each night she would blow me off for some reason or another. A less insanely stubborn, or even vaguely sensible, person would have stopped here, full on the knolwedge that he was only making things worse for no purpose. It was dead, time to move on
But you know, sometimes- just SOMETIMES- life throws a funny little quirk, maybe to people that do not deserve it.
On the 26th of July, 2001, I texted Elle in the evening, and she texted me back about being at some party (work friends), where the gay hosts were trying to scare her. Elle was extremely drunk and seemed happer to text me. We texted back an forth, her mostly mumbling drunken nonsense, into the early hours of the morning. And when I said to her I had been looking at her old mails and how good they had made me feel and how great she had been for writing them, she texted me back thus:
"Thank u. Ur great 2! Things will b fine. U'll c! Vey really will."
(raised eyebrow) Well now... THAT sounded more positive!
She went on to say that we had a great friendship, and it would take a lot to destroy it, that we were both good and bad for each other. I apologised profusely in s humble terms as possible for the disgraveful way I had acted, but she didn;t seem to have minded very much. She ended by saying
"Yes we r very lucky. Looks like we still have a lot 2 talk about but another time. Must go 2 bed. Good night! xxx"
I didn't know WANT to think... except... I felt better.
She came back to the board that week and we started to post a lot of fun nonsense in the bar (don't ask me to find that; the bars take forever to search through). She was posting a lot in the RP as well. I could almost believe that things were as they were before again... except that Nathan was the man she wanted. God, how I wished that that relationship would go utterly wrong! It was very horrid of me, but I wanted it to go so very, VERY wrong that she would be driven back into my arms!
I was hoping myself and Elle might start to talk more as we had done before but again she was very busy each day- though she seemed to go to get extremely drunk at parties once a week, and at those times she was never afraid to send me merry drunken messages. But she did confirm that she was still going to come, in mid-August.
And in the remaining two weeks before then, she started to change; she started to reply to all my messages again, and although there was the odd argument, everything started to feel more natural. I had no idea why, I assumed it was just the passage of time making things easier.
A week before she came she sent me this:
"Next week will be lovely i'm sure. Promise me you will make me forget about my horrid life please!"
And things were going my way again, She WANTED to come; it was not just some polite gesture, she really WANTED to be with me again! I was not entirely sure how it had happened that things had started to work out again, after having gone so DISASTROUSLY wrong, but there you go, they had! Amazing!
"I'll be down on 13th and leave 15th. We'll have a great time as long as you make me forget about my life!"
"Keep sending 'em, Elle, you can only make me happier!" I thought.
I reminded her that my parents would be away for the duration of the visit.
"2 nights with no parents. Oh what fun we could have!"
WHOA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What did THAT mean!? Actually, screw that, I KNEW what it meant, it was patently obvious. But but but but but... a month ago we were never to meet again. Now she was... like... but what about Nathan? What in the name of buggeration was going on here?
I asked her what she meant. I could not afford to get this wrong.
"We will have to talk about it anothe time. A bit busy at the moment!"
GAHHHHHHH!!!
And she studiously avoided talking about it in the days afterwards. Oh my! What WAS I to think?
For amusement purposes, I feel you MUST see this exceprt of how hard it was for me to actually tell Elle what the title of Episode II was, me having heard it this day and trying to tell her.
Ush: BTW, did you know that the Ep. II title has been announced?
Elle: No, I didn't
Ush: Well, do you want to know it or not? It;s getting a lot of comment.
Elle: Yes please.
Ush: It's 'Attack of the Clones'. No kidding. You'd best tell your sister, I guess...
Elle: Well are you going to tell me or what?
Ush: What? I just told you. It said it had sent. It's 'Attack of the Clones'. No kidding.
Elle: So it hasn't been announced at all then.
Ush: What? Yes it has! Are you not getting the message or something? ATTACK OF THE CLONES!!!!!!!!!!!!
Elle: No i don't think so mike!
Ush: This is on the official website, Elle! It is OFFICIAL news!
Elle: I bet they are just pulling people's legs!
Ush: Talk about straw-grasping! Get used to it, dearie, they have NO reason to lie! I take it you don;t like it?
Elle: I think it sounds like some dodgy 50's spoof movie....
(turns out later she thought I meant *I* was kidding when I said 'no kidding'😉
Her sister didn't believe me about the title either, Elle. told me. Hmph! I am looking at YOU, Vicki! I know you are reading this...
ANYWAY. So. Out third meeting. This was FAR more nerve-wracking for me than the second. Then I felt I had some idea of how things were. This time... I really did not have a clue. I didn't know where I was, where SHE was, what she thought, what would happen, if we could even bear each other... she was coming down by car and staying for two nights. The house was all ours. And so, the day she was coming, I lay on my bed and waited...
...only I seem to near the maximum message length again! And I think this will have to stretch to being a part split into 3... so what happened at that meeting, and the rest of the summer, I shall tell tomorrow!
I grew up two doors down from a girl who became my girlfriend 27 years later. We met when we were two, we played together, went to the same schools together, and we always remained good friends until highschool was over and we lost touch.
Ten years later, at my ten year highschool reunion, we saw eachother after all those years and sparks flew. After that, we fell in love, moved in together and had the fairy tale relationship straight out of a John Cusack film.
Then she dumped me after being together for a year and a half. That was three months ago and I still feel the pain.
i had a crush on this guy. we known each other for ages. i was to scared to ask him out. then i found out he liked me to. he told me he liked me and that we could not go out togher coz he did not want to ruin our friendship. we r still really good friends. as the saying says
"should i laugh coz we r best friends or sholud i cry coz that is all we will eva be" 🙁
Well then, here, finally, is the conclusion of the third part of my Edna Crush story, taking us to the end of that somewhat tumultuous summer!
It was another hot day in August when Elle came again. It was only the third time we had met, but after everything I described before it FELT as if there had been so much more. My house was empty, my parents on holiday. When we had planned this two months before this had seemed an exciting prospect. Now, despite those one-off hints she had dropped, I did not quite know what to think. I had no firm plan about what to do, only that I was determined to keep Elle as a friend.
Despite time passing a hundred times as slowly as it normally does before she got to mine that day, her car did eventually pull up in my driveway and I lept downstairs to open the door to her. She looked as beautiful and sweet as ever, with her smile that had always brightened my day still there the same. I wanted to grab her and hug her and kiss her right there and then but I could not; she had made it very clear that I was not to freak her out or frighten her or put pressure on her in any way, and in any case, Nathan was her man now. It was, of course, frustrating to not be able to draw close to her, but soon I was so lost in the pleasure of just talking to her and having fun that I forgot about it. I suspected it might become more of a problem as time went by with her here... but that was not what life had in store. Like I said, I am not sure if I deserved my great fortune of this time, but it was there in any case.
Elle was playing Black and White on my computer, having good fun, laying across my bed, me sitting just behind her. With a confidence I do not understand- but a confidence that being with Elle seemed to give me- I started to gently stroke her side, terrified of the reproval that might bring, There was none. I started to stroke more expressively, and still there was no objection. I reached around across her stomach, to hug her lightly, and still she did not object, even moving her arm of the way to let me do it. I moved in and kissed her lightly on the cheek, and she turned her head to kiss me back, and then forgot about the game as we embraced and kissed and cuddled as if nothing had ever gone wrong at all...
Nathan had not contacted or called Elle, as he had promised, and she was fearful and unsure about things. They had not set anything in stone yet, and if he was going to break his promise to contact her, she felt no compunction about simply waiting for him to return for something that may never happen. And more and more, she had felt guilty about me; terrified that I would hate her, and now SO relieved that I felt the same...
I can say without a shadow of a doubt that those three days went AMAZINGLY well. Diplomatically and socially speaking they were the most successful of my life. They went even better than our first meeting, because that turned flat ground and much potential into something great, but in those days I turned what was very much a disaster beset with emotional problems into something even BETTER. To think just over a month before I had threatened suicide, and now just by waiting things out I was back in the arms if the girl I adored. A better reason to never kill yourself I cannot think of, for this is proof that things CAN get better no matter how dreadful they have become.
It couldn't be true, but it was, it could get no better, but it did. I was happy, and she was happy, and things seemed cool. When she left me, I just wished she could stay forever, or at least come back soon, but it seemed that it might be some while before she could come again.
Elle's life was improving as well. She got her exam results around this time. She had aced her exams- an A in ALL of them. Straight As, five A-Levels, and her university place assured. The dream she so feared she had cocked up had come true for her. She was deliriously happy.
My parents were still away; she asked me when we talked in the chat room again when they were going to be back, it was still a week away. Before I knew it, she had arranaged to come and see me again in two days. She had enjoyed herself so much she wanted to come again at once! Amazing!
She actually drove here straight from work. This time, whe she pulled up, looking beautiful and sweet... THIS time I pulled her in, closed the door, grabbed and, and kissed her passionately at once... that was pretty amazing...
These two visits cemented the new phase in our relationship. The last remaining barrier, Nathan, was destroyed spectacularly soon afterwards. Nathan came back from holiday without telling Elle and in a horiffic evening that left her in tears, it turned out he had just been taking a quick opportunity with Elle whilst ACTUALLY making a move on one of her friends. She was the victim of a classic teenage romantic con job and felt utterly betrayed- and just as I had wished, she had been driven back into my arms. Rather freaky, in fact. I still could not quite believe how things were going. Everything had paid off so staggeringly well...
On the boards, people were mostly unaware that there was actually a problem, but with Edna back for a while and us flirting some more there was renewed interest in us. This attempt to get Elle to allow me to post pics of us:
http://www.killermovies.com/forums/f11/t1617_1.html
Did not go particularly well! Things were changing for me there though.
http://www.killermovies.com/forums/f11/t1649_1.html
I was now a JC member, and firmly cemented into the running of the place.
Eleanor was now gearing up to move on from her beloved school to university, but there was to be one more visit from her in the way things were. September, and my birthday, were approaching, and Elle planned to come visit me the day after and stay for a few days. A casual remark I made in the threads about liking hippos gave her an idea; she mailed zoos in my local area until she found one that had a hippo in- Colchester Zoo a VERY large zoo not far from where I live- and organised to take me there as a birthday treat from her, so I could see one for real- so sweet!
And before I knew it, I was with her again. The zoo was very large, and it tired me out greatly being there, but it was fantastic fun. Elle had now met my friends but was very leery about showing any form of affection to me in public. But walking around that Zoo, I was amazed when she slipped her arm into mine. And that was more significant than you might think. Because, walking around that zoo arm in arm with my girl, I saw other couples walking around also, and I realised that we looked just like them! I cannot get across how important that was for me. For the first time in seven years since I fell ill, I felt NORMAL in public, not a sick guy isolated from all society, but just a guy and his girl on a trip to the zoo. It was amazing.
We talk about the trip here. Irritatingly, I never DID get to see the Hippo...
http://www.killermovies.com/forums/f11/t1757.html
Two weeks later, Elle was off to University. Things looked good. Our troubles were over. She was at uni down in London, MUCH closer to me, just 30 minutes by train. We could see each other far more often, without Elle having to make excuses to her folks.
There were problems. That I was still a secret to her family worried me. Under her care I was feeling better, but I was still not well, had no money, and could provide little in the way of prospects for her. And she still did not want a relationship- we were just friends, nothing more. That, now, bit deep, because from the moment she took my arm at the zoo, I knew for certain that I loved her- loved her for REAL, utterly and totally. I wanted desperately for her to love me back, but it seemed it was not to be. And of course, she would meet new friends at uni, new guys, other people to sweep this pretty girl, now out of her shell for sure (something I had certainly done for her!) off of her feet.
But still. There was plenty of time for us to work out our future. I was 24, and I was having the time of my life with the girl I loved. I felt good.
Well, that is part 3 finally done. Part 4 will talk about Elle's early times at university, and the remarkably obscure way in which the question of us actually becoming boyfriend and girlfriend finally came onto the agenda.
Here attached is a photograph I took of Elle at the zoo, next to the Orangutang she mentions in the thread above.
Tune in another time, folks!