First date depends on comfort level, sometimes something low pressure like coffee and a walk through downtown.
Otherwise I will take my date to dinner, where I typically will pay. I try to have my dinner dates in a location that allows us to walk around a bit and explore, and in doing so leaves us open to stop in a little bakery or get tea or something. At this point my dates more often than not offer to pick up the tab on something extra like that, which I find very generous and I'm sure to be thankful.
But there isn't a specific date place I always go. In fact, if I kept taking girls to the same place on a first date, I'd feel kinda gross about it. I try to customize or tailor make each date depending on person. Make sure to know their dietary restrictions too.
Originally posted by Klaw
Why is it polite for one person to offer to pay?
Just polite to offer first. Did you also not see the end where i said your date may offer to pay instead and that is fine too.
As a general rule, the person who asks for the date, offers to pay. If she asked you, then she should offer first.
edit: Also, kudos for thinking about dating 👆
Originally posted by KlawSee, the way it works is that men have to pay on a first date. It's the reason why gay men don't go on dates: they both have to pay, making the entire meal cost 100% extra. It's also the reason why lesbians date so many different girls, because neither has to pay and they get the meal for free. That's just how the world works. It's just polite Klaw, Quincy gave you good advice, now agree with him.
Why is it polite for one person to offer to pay?
Originally posted by Klaw
I wouldn't pay for anyone on a date and I would not want her to pay for me.
Like Newjak's post above then, which he is upfront about to his date with his comfort level when it comes to money, it's fine too. There's no "this is the only way" to first dates.
You can ask for separate checks, to avoid any confusion.
Originally posted by Scribble
See, the way it works is that men have to pay on a first date. It's the reason why gay men don't go on dates: they both have to pay, making the entire meal cost 100% extra. It's also the reason why lesbians date so many different girls, because neither has to pay and they get the meal for free. That's just how the world works. It's just polite Klaw, Quincy gave you good advice, now agree with him.
This science checks out
Originally posted by Klaw
Why is it polite for one person to offer to pay?
I don't know about politeness, or some kind of chivalry, but I think it's the gentleman thing to do.
If I ask someone on a date, I'm asking someone for their time, the least I could do is pay for their alaska roll. Dating is tricky, and gender politics probably come into play when it comes to what's proper and what's not. I think it's polite for a man to open a door for a woman.
Honestly I think once things get more comfortable or additional dates happen, splitting the checks is more common. Or taking turns taking care of each other's meals.
Originally posted by Newjak
Dinner and some type of activity like axe throwing or going for a walk.I always let them know before hand that I want to have each person pay for themselves so I'm up front about it.
Agreed. Each person should pay his own way. And the date should be an activity that you can do together. I do not like meal dates.
Originally posted by Adam_PoE
Agreed. Each person should pay his own way. And the date should be an activity that you can do together. I do not like meal dates.
Why don't you like meal dates?
Originally posted by ilikecomics
I took my gf on a date to a book store.
It sent the signal that I care about literacy and we had a great time looking around. It also removed the paying problem. We go back there quite a bit and I always think about how we met there.
Book store sounds very cool.
Although for me, it would a comic book store.
Originally posted by KlawI don't know his specific reasons but for me just having a date that is meal just doesn't work.
Why don't you like meal dates?Book store sounds very cool.
Although for me, it would a comic book store.
It's very boring and most people are too nervous to be able to be open.
I think this has been proven through studies, although it's been awhile since I looked it up, that having some type of activity that actually engages your focus allows the people involved to more relaxed.
Creating a better dating experience.
Originally posted by Newjak
I don't know his specific reasons but for me just having a date that is meal just doesn't work.It's very boring and most people are too nervous to be able to be open.
I think this has been proven through studies, although it's been awhile since I looked it up, that having some type of activity that actually engages your focus allows the people involved to more relaxed.
Creating a better dating experience.
You pretty much nailed it. Having something to do invites engagement, and can distract from the anxiety that comes with the pressure of a date. Plus doing things is fun. So many fun fun things fun things.