Wisdom- quotes and sayings

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?

I believe Red Dwarf has made two very wise statements over time.

"Right, so, you met a girl, you had a fantastic time, and then for some reason you don;t understand it all fell apart. Well, welcome to the human race, it's just you, me and everyone else!"

and

"It is impossible to pee into a urinal when standing next to someone two foot taller than you."

"If you ever discover that what you're seeing is a play within a play, just slow down, take a deep breath, and hold on for the ride of your life. "

Never leave your children alone with Michael Jackson.....

or never put urself into a situation in which u would need to leave ur kids with micheal jackson

LOL So true.

-"Everyone has a God to kill for, they just all have different names."

Matthew Good, ya baby!

Life is what happens while your making other plans..

No one dies a virgin, Life screws us all.

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail,
but your best friend is the one sitting next to you saying
"Man, we really f****d up!"

Haha,that's good😄

Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism -- how passionately I hate them! --Albert Einstein

Remember you cannot wash away blood with more blood. War was not, and is not the answer to our problems.

Originally posted by diegocala
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail,
but your best friend is the one sitting next to you saying
"Man, we really f****d up!"

Hee hee 😂

Your damned if you do and your damned if you don't

Speak the truth, but leave immediately after. -- Slovenian proverb

"You know who you are" - roommate's mom after calling her the wrong name twice

Life is like a being a pubic hair on the rim of a toilet - sooner or later you're going to get pi**ed off!

lol

Before critisiing somebody you should try walking a mile in their shoes. That way you'll be a mile away and they'll have no shoes. 😄

*** Spoken in a old scratchy voice. ***

You young kids dont know anything!! You complain about everything!! Why when I was your age I had to walk to school in the snow with no shoes!! We had to travel 200 miles uphill both ways to get there!!

So you kiddies don't have the right to complain!! Just deal with it, you slackers!!! 😂