Joke Time [Merged]

2 irish men were on holiday in Ibiza playing a game of pool in their hotel...

They had been playing for 2hours straight and not one of them potted a single ball within that 2 hours. This, of course, drew a crowd of watchers who were whispering jokeful comments to each other

One of the Irish men noticed this and was embarassed, he turned to his partnet and said

Irish man 1: this is a nonscence, next game we will have to cheat
Irisn man 2: how are we going to cheat?
Irisn man 1: next game, we will take the triangle off

Discos - 😖hifty: no dissing the irish

Bill Gates meets Hugh Grant at a Hollywood party. They are talking and Bill says: "I've seen some great pictures of Divine Brown lately, I sure would like to get together with her!" Hugh replies: "Well Bill, you know ever since our incident, her price has skyrocketed, she's charging a small fortune." Bill (with a chuckle): "Hugh, money's no object to me. What's her number." So, Hugh gives Bill her number and Bill sets up a date. They meet & after they finish, Bill is lying there in ecstasy, mumbling "God...now I know why you chose the name Divine." To which she replies: "Thank you, Bill.....and now I know how you chose the name ..... Microsoft."

a guy is going to a fancy dress party with his girlfriend, he decided to go as a snail....

the night of the party he arrives at the party, his friend asks him

Man: Why is your girlfriend on your back?
Snail: Thats not my girlfriend thats mi"shell"

Originally posted by Korri
shaber isnt funny 🙄

There isn't enough booze in here to change anyones mind about that - or anything else...

does she still think you r the keanu heater? 😑

Don't know, but NOONE says that I am not funny! furious

you r funny? 🙄

j/k i know you r 😂

Ok I luv this one but u guys might not coz it sounds better with the accent!

A guy walks into a shop and asks "may i plez have 3 pounds of potatoes?" and the guy at the counter says "we call them kilos over here mate" "oh" says the man "may i plez hav 3 pounds of kilos then?" 😆

what did the blond's ankles say to each other?
dunno, they never met.

what do you get when you cross bill clinton and president bush? a pimp with a speech impediment.

what does monica lewinsky and a soda machine have in comon? they both say insert bill here.

what do you call a smart blonde? a golden retriever.

donald duck and daisy split up... so donald went to a brothel and said "i want sex..." then the lady said "well then.. u came to the right place.. but u havta wear a condom due to our company policy and we charge an extra 1$ for that... do you want me to stick it in your bill??"
"WHAT KINDA DUCK DYAH FINK I AM???!!!???!!!"

an irish man, welsch man and an english man walked into a pub....
then the bartender exclaimed: "IS THIS SUM KIND OF A JOKE???!"

Originally posted by shaber
Don't know, but NOONE says that I am not funny! furious

KEANU-HATER!!!

*sigh* be nice to him, he's had unfriendly childhood 🙄

Two blondes walk into a building....
you think ONE of them would have seen it

kill shaber!! ROFL!!! 😛

your moma so fat when she went on the titantic it had to sink

your name is funny 🙂

😂

heres a joke

what does monica lewinsky and a soda machine have in common?

they both say insert bill here. 😮‍💨